Cards Against Humanity - Super Fun Games Night Episode 1
Channel Super Fun
·Channel Super Fun
·2015-05-07
·
1,720 words · ~8 min read
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Okay. Okay. So, this is the first time that
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we've ever done what we're going to be calling Channel Super Fun games night
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where we play games. And it's not night time, but whatever. Screw it.
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It's It's dark outside. All right. So, we will be starting with
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a classic Cards Against Humanity. We've already got the oatmeals card game on
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order. We're going to be looking for new game ideas for you guys for us to play.
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But uh let's kick this off. Let's find out if this is I've actually never
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played is the Canadian edition. So is it polite? So any ones that would have say American
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politics if you ordered in the States would then be changed to Canadian politics if you ordered in Canada. So
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there's stuff about like Steven Harper which none of you guys will probably know but there'll be like Steven Harper
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jokes and Brandon's Asian. No, I reference to the camera not to
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Brandon. Oh, you're already getting started being a terrible person. you'll pull a black
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card and the black card is the the either the question or the statement
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that you're filling out. And then all the white cards are words or phrases
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that you can use to answer the question or fill in the blanks. Okay. And then traditionally one person will
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draw the black card, say what it is, everyone else will answer it. Then that
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person decides which answer is the best and then that person keeps the black
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card and that's a point. Okay. Yeah. You take seven. So seven white cards. Yeah. So just go
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grab seven white cards. So Lionus draw a black card and then we'll go around the
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table. Okay. Okay. Say what it is. I went from blank to blank. All thanks
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to blank. There we go. So now we have to fill in the blank. I can open my eyes.
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Yeah. Okay. And there's nothing in front of my mouth. That's unexpected. Here we go. I
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went from that ass to the black Power Ranger. All thanks to her majesty Queen
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Elizabeth II. Wrong order.
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Oh. So I went from Her Majesty Queen
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Elizabeth II to the Black Power Ranger. All thanks to that ass. I went from the
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Abbercrombie and Fitch lifestyle to three months in the hole. All thanks to
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dead parents. I went from Nicholas Cage to Denzel.
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It's all thanks to Mountain.
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All right. Well, I'm going with the dead parents.
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Where is So, now it's your turn. And
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uh all card games go this way, but you tried. I spent my whole life working
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toward eating Tom Celk's mustache to
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gain his powers only to have it ruined by the eight gay warlocks who dictate
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the rules of fashion. Okay, that's a very specific reason.
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That was very specific. I spent my whole life working towards the KKK
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only to have it ruined by historical
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revisionism. I spent my whole life working towards cheating in the Special
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Olympics. only to have it ruined by depression.
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Have to go with uh eating Tom Celk's mustache.
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I knew 100% who was who. Celic historical KKK. The other one cheating
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in the Special Olympics. Yeah. Anything with cheating in the
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Special Olympics. Even in this game, anyone else would discard it.
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Yeah. The blind date was going horribly until
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we discovered our shared interest in injecting speed into one ARM and horse
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tranquilizer into the other. Dance expansion. We discovered our shared interest in a
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dance move. That's just sex.
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So, we discovered our shared interest in a botched circumcision.
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I'm going to go with this one. Injecting speed into one ARM and horse tranquilizer into the other.
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I think Lionus is going to win this game. I should have known my audience a
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bit more because I went for the shock factor with a botched circumcision. But
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Luke always chooses the most logical answer in Cards Against Humanity.
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Well, that makes no sense. Nobody would be interested in that. Dude, you should have heard it when we
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were playing. That sounds like a teran answer. Well, that's not logically correct.
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Well, who would be logically interested in injecting one ARM with horse
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tranquilizer and speed? You don't know the kind of girls Luke's dated.
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Okay. All right. Let's go. Finally, a service that delivers white man scalps right to
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your door. We all should watch our
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heads. Finally. Just like Yeah, Brandon, you're fine.
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Don't worry. Finally, a service that delivers nubial
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slave boys right to your door. I don't know if I said nubial or nubile.
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Yeah, clearly I don't have enough slave boys.
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Finally, a service that delivers Ryan Gosling riding riding in on a white
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horse right to your door. Wow. I feel like that would be a girl's dream.
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Um, maybe it's your dream. No, my dream is actually white man's
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scout. That card doesn't even make sense
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because new is like addressed as a feminine thing.
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Thank you for the most boring fact anyone at this table's ever heard.
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All right. What's the most emo? A sad
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hand job, Harry Potter, erotica,
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the swim team all at once. Well, I'm pretty sure swim team all at once is
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you. I'm going hand. No, I was Harry Potter erotica.
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Sad hand job is the one that I wanted to use. You know what? This is probably This is
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probably strictly speaking more emo because the hand job implies there's at
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least someone else involved. But this it doesn't say who is sad. It could be
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who's giving it as sad. It could be who's getting it as sad. Maybe they're both sad.
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Could be the same person.
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I don't want to say this. Pre-teens. Oh,
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awesome in theory. Kind of a mess in
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practice. An all production of
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Shakespeare's Richard 3. Awesome in
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theory, kind of a mess in practice. Oh my god.
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What was the play? Richard. Richard the third. Oh, Richard the third.
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Shakespeare. Who? He started the whole multi-art episode thing. I do not
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understand. Seeing grandma naked. Awesome in theory.
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Kind of a mess in practice. That's not
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awesome in theory. I'm going with the production of
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Richard 3. The next Happy Meal toy is a pile of
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squirming bodies. Whining like a little
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and Natalie Portman. He likes picking logical answers. Let's give him none.
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Let's pick something else. Good job, boys.
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I know which one's yours. That one.
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I don't know. This makes no sense. This is disgusting. And this
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isn't possibly a toy in any realm of existence. This could like maybe be an
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action figure. This could just be dis. It's too much. That's part of the
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problem. It's too much mass. You can't put it in a Happy Meal bag.
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We didn't specify human bodies. Those could be mouse bodies. It's true.
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Boogers. Good to the last drop. The miracle of childbirth. Good to the
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last drop.
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Oh no. Steven Harper. Good to the last
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drop. I got to go with the miracle of
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childbirth. See, but I really did like that one. If
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it was the American version, I'd have won because it would be Bill Clinton or
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something and that would be way better. I thought that was funny.
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So many of the winners make no sense. In Night Shaman,
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you're terrible. In Night Shamalan's new movie.
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Bruce Willis discovers that inappropriate yodelling had really been
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Justin Bieber all along. Bruce Willis discovers that police
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brutality had really been vigorous jazz
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hands all along. Bruce Willis discovers that saying I
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love you had really been doing the right stuff to her nipples all along.
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I don't know. A cheap shot at Justin Bieber tickles me the right way. Who is
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that? Yes. I do not know what weapon World War II will be fought with, but World War I
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will be fought with an ass disaster.
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World War I will be fought with Stephen Hawking talking dirty. World War I will
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be fought with authentic Mexican cuisine. Ooh, that kind of goes with
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Asta's ass.
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It could be both. I I have to go with Stephen Hawking
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talking dirty just cuz it's a great card. Yes. This is your captain speaking. Fasten
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your seat belts and prepare for panda sex.
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Prepare for pooping back and forth forever.
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Forever. And prepare for scrotum tickling.
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It's a sexual plane no matter what. I'm going to say scrotum tickling. Yes.
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What? This round wins the game. What?
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What? I'm like double the points of anyone else. I didn't see
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last. Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll
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show you mine. Oh man.
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Actually, there's no word my, so it's just, "Hey, baby, come back to my place
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and I'll show you." I had a couple that could have been
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good. Come back to my place and I'll show you bing and purging.
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Baby, come back to my place and I'll show you crying into the pages of Silia.
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Crying into the pages of Sylvia Bl. I don't even know what that means. I'm going to go binging and purging.
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Yes. As long as friction is involved, too.
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It's a package deal. My only thing I was like, it's burles. I just got to go through some horrible.
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Nice. Yeah. I won the totals contest and I won the
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sudden death round. Boom. All right. Well, I hope you guys
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enjoyed games night. Let us know in the comments if you'd like to see more of
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this format. Until then, make sure you don't subscribe. No, make sure you don't
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forget to subscribe. Do subscribe. See you next time.
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I was going to line it up so it said the bigger black line is.