Catching a Thief in our Office
Channel Super Fun
·Channel Super Fun
·2018-05-06
·
1,376 words · ~6 min read
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welcome to Channel Super Fun today the fun stops I've been contracted by a
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allius Media Group to track down a Cutlery Thief come along for the
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ride let me do that
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again so lus Media Group when they moved in 2015 they implemented a Cutlery
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tracking procedure where each employee
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needed to stamp their name or Draw their name on their piece of Cutlery or dish
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wear so in recent months Cutler's been
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disappearing so someone is stealing
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Cutlery and we need to find out who that is and we need to put them to justice
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put them to Jus I don't even know what I said before this I don't know how to [ __ ] English
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so to start the investigation we're going need talk to the man that made the
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procedure lus where where is he do you need no no
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I need I need L first I I
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how do you get through here over here there's a zipper just go through my
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zipper are look for we need to talk to you about the
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cutlery situation what what what is it what's the deal with it the procedure is
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don't [ __ ] touch it if it doesn't have your initials stamped on it who do
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you think's been stealing Cy okay so I
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can name a few people who I know steal Cutlery you know Taran Taran Dennis
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Dennis I have wait wait wait wait wait my
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partner in crime the man that's been helping me solve this case you're the
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one I've never stolen any state your case no who else you got I think it's
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probably mostly Taran Solus has giv us his two cents we need to talk to
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Dennis I need to ask what's going on L
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what's wrong cuz I I've never stolen anyone else anyone's P if I check those
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security cameras right now no am I going to find you even I did I wouldn't get
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caught I want to accuse tering cuz I
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have caught him one time stealing my Fork he was using it like while while I
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caught him he was shoveling his face full of probably lasagna or omelette or
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pizza oh I don't know what the hell was he eating but he was using my
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Fork we need to figure this out are you
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doing a Cutlery investigation where's your
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Cutlery I I don't really use it you
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don't really use it trying to find out so you don't think the system is important
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oh I found it look at that bam all of your knives are in check all of my
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utensils are you're free you're free to
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go I need to be Maxine
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yeah uh colon uh crime scene
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investigator so I sent you an email last week mhm asking about the missing
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Cutlery somebody's been using Neil Van Beal's spoon uh um we talked to Mr a
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prime over there and he says that you were the one using it is that true
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yeah wait what yeah I like told him that
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he left his Cy here and he's like oh it's a freefor all use it if you want
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wait wait what
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wait what about the other missing Cy so we've had reports of Dennis's stuff
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being used and and not being cleaned we've had reports of Cutlery just going
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missing was that you as well I know you know who that is it was Ian the Russian
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the Russian he didn't have his own color he didn't know that there were like
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assigned Cutlery things I so you just [ __ ] use them these crimes originate
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from before Ivan was even here and we're trying to figure out what the [ __ ] is
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going on okay I think I started working here like weeks before I haven't started
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working here you've been here for like 4 months I only know this because my spoon
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was missing once and I was all upset about it and I made like this big deal
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okay and then you found out it was either well it's cuz it was in his cup
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Taran have you noticed him taking anyone's
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utensils Forks knives spoons any of the
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sort honestly like I'm pretty sure he just eats with his hands 90% of the time
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from what the evidence is telling me taran's the one that's been it's too
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easy to you need a proper
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holster uh I think what we need to do is we need to take teran's utensils we need
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to hide them and see if he resorts to stealing from there we'll make the
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arrest we'll make the announcement and the world will be whole again
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where's his Fork we need to find his Fork is he does he have it is on his
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desk Dennis I don't know did you take his Fork no
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wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you think you
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need to keep your nose out of things that aren't your business you don't
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understand how deep this goes what's where's that from holy [ __ ] all right so
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this thing's a real mess so we got Maxine telling us that Ivan's been using
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her Cutlery but I know for a fact that Ian was hired long after these incidents
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started occurring Taran Taran is our Prime Suspect right now all we see him
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eating with a fork we've gotten Dennis and lonus have both accused him of
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stealing Jake I just don't like Jake God damn it
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guys what so in here no James is
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outside what the [ __ ] is going on people are just like stealing obviously not me
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it's got to be Taran it's got to be [ __ ] be just just ter even if someone
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say just it's Teran he is stealing now
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could you guys just get back to work please few days have passed since our
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last update the plan was to get everyone's fingerprints turns out that
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graphite is a little bit more messy than we thought and I may have gotten it all
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over a conference room table so kind of
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got rid of that that idea then this morning we had the incident with Avon's
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Cup being used and then today I was out
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here just minding my own business and then guess who walks in through the door
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this guy he
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just I'm Teran oh what's going on in
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here guys oh wow lots of really cool
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things going on reaches into his bag and
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pulls out a plate and a fork and I go
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what the [ __ ] Taran and Taran goes what caught him red-handed and now we're
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going to make the arrest and we're going to put him into
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Justice oh my God we knew it we knew it
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does that say does that say Taran nope didn't think so it says LL make the
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arrest and we're done we're done everyone can be safe again guys don't
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need to live in fear anymore you don't
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need do it
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even I did I would have get
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caught this you put these on my desk are
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you trying to frame me what you are trying to frame me you son of a [ __ ]
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what are you talking about
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oh Jesus you're going to arrest for what theft of Cutlery we know
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we've got the evidence we've got
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the I don't want to go back to oh sh I
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can't do another Niel ni we caught him we caught the
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thief man everything we're going to be fine now so okay so here's the thing
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everything's going to be fine I've confronted Taran about his Cutlery stealing many times he doesn't stop
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doing it oh I would have get CAU