Sweeping Rocks - Nerdsports Episode 5
Channel Super Fun
·Channel Super Fun
·2017-05-06
·
2,934 words · ~14 min read
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welcome to the Langley curling Center and welcome of course to nerd Sports
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where the keyboard Warriors fresh off of a couple of winds are going to be taking
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on the tardies I mean what are they late
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in the sport of curling we plan to sweep our way to Victory this episode is going
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to rock curling
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jokes is there something wrong with my hair sure all right ask me questions I
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I've only ever seen curling at the Olympics and like honestly it doesn't
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even look like a real sport it's more of a game I don't know like it's it's just
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it's just weird it's like they were like oh we need to add something to the Olympics let's just throw rocks on the
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ice and see how far they go sorry curling people in of the world I figure
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it's just kind of shuffle board or botch ball or lawn darts or any kind of game
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you know you throw it you try and throw it the right amount and don't throw it
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too far
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uh my name is Jordan tardy and I've been curling for around 5 years uh my name is
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Nick I play lead Daniel I'm the third for this team I have a bronze and silver
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medal from Junior Nationals I'm Tyler I play Skip and uh sometimes I call a
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pretty good
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game I have seen cling copts on TV and I
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don't know why people are yelling I don't get it Kling is a sport all about
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finesse and getting your rock to the
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spot I believe it is the sport that's playing behind me with the sweeping and
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I think I'm probably going to be the sweeping dude
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perfect we're super screwed this is my broom get your own broom okay oh I get
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it now maybe okay okay I guess I just go just
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go go for it man go for this is a more natural turn to start anyways there you
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go that was you know the right idea maybe can I just can you settle an
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argument for us really quick absolutely Bank shots permitted or no no sorry I
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figured that out when I saw that the other lanes don't even have the banks on
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you should have figured it out immediately no you should not have need
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that's a viable strategy in
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pool
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yeah see the big line here the big blue one I see that this is the call the hog
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line you have to let go yeah you have to let go by this okay so not a problem for
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you guys watching you do that on the ice you warm up that Pebble a little bit and
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that helps keep the friction down and you you may not you may not touch the
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thing right just I'm verif I'm making sure maybe
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there's some why don't you ask if we can Ste the other ties well maybe we can I
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don't know do that in Lacross I'm sweeping I'm sweeping it I'm sweeping I
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don't know what I'm doing here but I'm doing it Dennis you doing it or what
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Dennis you're go over there Dennis Dennis over here come on Dennis there we
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go there we go look at how easy this is
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Taran you got to sweep you don't just drag the gosh no I know but this is
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doing something no it's not doing anything you're supposed to it's
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friction you're supposed to heat the ice that's what I'm doing L it's heating the
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icea slightly sweep I'm just asking if
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that'll work no it's not going to work if it was going to work don't you think
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Dave would do it maybe they're not as advanced as us I maybe I'm changing up
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the sport a little bit you know 4 minutes to learn how to
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curl call it hello curling fans and welcome inside
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George in Recreation Center in Langley BC as a keyboard Warriors continue their
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nerd Sports tour and try their hand at curling today as they take on the 2016
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Canadian Junior men's curling bronze medalists in team tardy I am Brandon
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Asel alongside Tyler dinwoody and Tyler after doing so well in volleyball
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lacrosse dodgeball and hockey I guess the Nerds figure hey let's stay on the
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ice and try some curling well Brandon the key difference I see tonight between
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this and the other sports is this one is is going to require a lot more touch and finesse as opposed to Pure athleticism
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is which they've needed on their previous four Endeavors a game like curling you need touch slight of hand
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you got to communicate and they have none of that so this should be an interesting match up yeah they've really
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proven to have none of that that's true we are underway we got team tardy in
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their black uniforms looking sharp they are the guys that look like they know
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what they're doing and we have the keyboard Warriors and their familiar
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what do you want to call it fluorescent orange red red with yellow numbers they
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kind of resemble maybe McDonald's volunteers at some sort of kid's
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birthday party always easy to spot Taran he's worn helmets in almost everything
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he must fancy himself a real smart guy if he wants to protect his head that
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badly but anyway we'll see if he needs it or not is Dennis going now old one we don't
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know what's happening and we got Dennis is hung
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leading things off here with the rock this should be an interesting technique
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and form um try try and put he looks
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like he's taking it really seriously we'll see how he takes off in this he's not using the uh the uh the that a lot
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of people choose to use he's just bouncing on his broom which is an impressive start we'll see if he can
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stay on his feet and let's listen in as Dennis lets his first one fly let go of
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it on by this oh that was too fast don't sweep it
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don't sweep it I can do that yeah let
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fly was probably a very correct term for it's going hard right they're not even
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sweeping Teran just going to let this one go and yep hits the bumper on the other court and what a shot if he's
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playing on the other side that would be a decent guard Stone all right Dennis
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try not to suck next time get off the field get back back out of the way lane
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two and here's team tardy and look at that technique the form and he's just
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going to lay this one open see the spin beautifully done Tyler tardy the skip
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he's been curling since 2008 and they put a nice one in there early
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go denn you need to curve it do the curvy curb but go like
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yeah okay Colton get up here Colton denn
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that was too fast you're good you're good that's why I didn't even get up
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there what do we do going
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do techn we're not allowed to hit their rocks for the first four what do you
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mean we're not allowed to hit the Rocks the first four yeah I didn't know that
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what happens if we do wow they're good that's a that's look
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at that
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go all right all right all right oh that was I think that no Dennis don't don't
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that's too fast okay sweep it sweep it come on sweep it sweep it Dennis you got
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to sweep come on now look at he's really giving Dennis's H the business I'm
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trying to figure out what's going through his head that he thinks he's one
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of the foremost authorities within their group because he's terrible you want me
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to do okay don't do anym get that what are you doing oh
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that's good is I of you go you're just
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upset you don't mean
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that went past the motion it really is
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there not much friction on here I mean no loss is a relative term person
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standing here calls the shots on sweeping right yes okay well next time
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hopefully that'll work well you need to be louder I was really loud many so how
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many points you guys get do you have a GoPro on your helmet no oh what's on
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your helmet it's a light oh a light right right so it only goes to 12 and
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you guys got six points in one end what if you get more than 12 okay that's it
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handicap time what if they bring it on you're going to put weights on your
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sticks it's going to be an advantage to pour weight in the broom why do we keep
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giving them handicaps that are a secret Advantage I don't know horse head masks
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as Horses let's do this is this a sumo suit throw the Rock at shower you can't
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even see it but wait there's more you're also going to be wearing this fantastic
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bathroom which I actually kind of wish I got to wear cuz I'm pretty
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cold uh I can barely see no question
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about it their vision is a lot more
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obstructed that's right yeah now we T
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yeah now now you know what it feels like to suck it curling first throw ends up
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here for team tardy and the first stone looks a little
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soft and is that going to make it to the line I don't think so in they know it
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the one shot that we try to do every
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time all right that was a bit fast Denis that was pretty fast
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sweep don't sweep and let's just hope it doesn't hit the Dennis come on Den
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good head on you the block it up there
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any better no way pressure's on line is
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here Dennis is the most uncoordinated and they're all 156 lb wow if he could
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have snuck by that one it have been a shot it's not awful it's actually their
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best shot of the game but he uh but Colton gets in and sweeps it out further
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okay so was I pretty close on both of those shots you super close only that
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much off both of them okay so you're
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saying if I like what I I was telling you I was telling you to go here to hit
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it that's not what you're supposed to do well of course you're suppos to hit no
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you don't you don't hold the thing here and then say to curl cuz it's going to
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end up over there no because you suck it doing it and I knew it would curl around
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into it it's not going to curl around into it if you point right out okay well
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you suck C okay okay so I should have done I thought you had to curl was that
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even my fault like was I on his line I didn't
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see that's a really good poker face right there there what was I on the line
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was it his fault or mine it was close 50
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wow you guys are totally unhelpful all right all right let's go again you guys
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are getting another handicap for that attitude I'm calling it now next end
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wins and you guys are going to be playing with
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these
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H good luck with
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that really crazy right
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now everything was pretty manageable until we got the horse heads now with
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these gloves it's you can almost not even hold the handle right so yeah it's
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just going to be pretty difficult all around now they're at the point now
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where they should barely be able to move let alone play we got to get our
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teamwork together we're not playing as a very good team honestly I'm just mad at
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you I'm mad in general why are you fixating on the that's all that there is
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to do you sweep when I say to sweep we focus on the game don't sweep when I say
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to stop sweeping whatever man and don't hit each others otherwise The Sweep not
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yes you were so many times I hear the crank was hitting each other okay
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everyone just shut up so be a good team
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go if what you've been trying isn't working try the opposite right it's not
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Dennis puts down the pipe almost look very graceful and obviously through the
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house play Nice Shot One deep breath and stay on your
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feet Dennis come on you can do it oh Dennis is going to let his his
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team's going to let him have it the same dire as last time so I went
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9 ft good
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jnis just no follow through whatsoever
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just pushes it I think I can't hear you he's saying I just don't get it right
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there okay I would say that was a step in the right direction you
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know two-handed effort here it looks
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like it's going to be okay though it's going to get there might be a little
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weak sweepers it's on you guys this is
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it lus if you make this we win it all be
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awesome I'm going to nail it
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h um uh sweep a bit sweep a bit we have
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a straight shot we're going to do
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it ah you could have gotten it in this is why
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I fixate on the sweeping you let me down you let me down
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and you didn't help at all you suck at aiming I suck at aiming that was going
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dead center too much and you
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can't now you're saying I was yelling too much when you say you can't hear no
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down there you're like oh don't sweep yeah that's right cuz I'm cuz I
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realized we could have won we could have won if these guys knew how to sweep a
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room you look at the slowmo replay and col's going like this oh we don't care
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if it goes in whatever that's what you guys are like either exagger you guys
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doesn't matter now okay I'm just glad we can all communicate open
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uh-huh right like this is the my least favorite
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sport you just guess you don't know you never know until you throw to someone
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and yell at you I'm not joking I really hate this
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sport I want to go home I'm really
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disappointed at the loss today I threw a
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perfect shot we had every opportunity to win today and I got let down and you
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know what I actually felt kind of bad in the first couple of ends when I had
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opportunities to to pull through and and I didn't make it but this was it this
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was crunch time this was the one moment and we let it slip
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we could have captured it nerd sports taught me that I should
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stay the away from any sort of physical
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activity be it on the ice in a gym
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wherever I just need to sit behind a desk and do business all right I'm a lot
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more useful as a video editor than as a curling champion this is no surprise I'm
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not built for this world I'm my feet are cold my my toes are freezing off I
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didn't fall on the ice at least I didn't fall uh some of them struggled a little
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bit but uh after a couple ends they caught onto it I I think they could have
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done a bit better on communication and not just scream at each other every two
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seconds I can kind of really see the appeal of doing sports in general like
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this was a lot of fun all of these all the games that we've played have been
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really fun and like I kind of want to go out there and like play some more uh so
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yeah Sports in spite of the momentum we
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carried into this match we still ended up with a defeat for the keyboard
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Warriors so all that's left at this point is to thank the tardies for being
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such wonderful Sports thank the langly curling Center and thank you the viewer
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for watching nerd Sports we've laughed we've cried and in the case of Dennis
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and Colton we've had some really confusing emotions that I don't quite
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understand see you guys later