We Get Destroyed by Girls - Nerdsports Episode 1
Channel Super Fun
·Channel Super Fun
·2017-05-06
·
1,774 words · ~8 min read
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Welcome to Nerd Sports. In today's episode, my professional team of
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keyboard warriors will be taking on the Trinity Western Spartans women's
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volleyball team. On the one hand, we're feeling pretty good cuz I mean, come on,
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it's a women's team. How hard could it be?
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On the other hand, these women were apparently the national champions in
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2015. So, uh, all we can do at this
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point is hope that our bag of tricks will be enough to keep them at bay.
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I'm Dennis. Um, I'm Taran Luke. Nicholas
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John Morton. Lor Sebastian. My name is Colton Potter and my height is 5'5 on a
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good day. I'm Katie Danny, 61. I play middle. Nikki Cornwall. I'm 510. I am a
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setter on this team. I'm Bri O'Reilly and I'm 6 feet. Not only have I never
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played volleyball, but I've never even seen a game, but I did read the rules. I
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am 170 CN, 65 kg. Um, I've been playing
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volleyball since I was in grade seven. I've played in championships,
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provincial, national. And you think you'll win today? Definitely. I
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definitely think we're going to win today. And I'd say that my athletic ability is
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a solid B minus. Sporting. What? Sporting experience.
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I don't have any athletic experience. I know how to run. Run.
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Yes. Yes. I can hit a ball in my on my
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hand. That's all. The last time I played volleyball was in the one week PE unit
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in grade 8. How high can I jump? Great question. And let me answer it with a
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demonstration. Like a foot. I played for
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2 years in grade five and six. I was okay. And now I'm apparently the captain
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of the team.
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I don't have to pee now.
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wondering.
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They're all really tall. It's intimidating. Well, they look like
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they could literally crush me. I'm only tall compared to normal people. I'm not
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tall compared to sports people. We haven't seen them block yet, so they
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might be really good jumpers. You never know. I think they got some hearts, but
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I don't know if heart's going to be enough to beat us today. That's number 256.
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Pretty fashionable.
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Uh to win, we are going to have to cheat really, really hard. It's the Keyboard
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Warriors taking on the number one ranked team in the nation, the Trinity Western
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Spartans women's volleyball team. Brandon alongside Tyler Denwy. I think
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that they're probably in a bit of trouble today. Brandon, what what can we
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expect from the girls team? They're going to come hard and heavy. They don't
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drop many sets even against the top teams in the CIS. So, I'll be shocked if
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these guys can put up much of a fight of them at all. Taran claims to have never
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touched a volleyball in his life. Uh, he knows there's a ball in a net with
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regards to volleyball and you get the ball over the net. It's basically ping
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pong with people, right? I feel like that's a pretty honest bio. I don't
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think he has ever touched a volleyball. They got the right number of players on
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the floor. That's a good start. They're doing a paper rock scissors actually to
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see who gets to go first. Oh, the handshake. That's good. Even
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that looked awkward. All right, let's let's get this thing underway. What do
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you think the chances are this thing gets over the net? I'm going to say
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zero. Not at all. And the ball's in over.
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Serves a beauty and a quick strike from the
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Spartans. It's interesting. You know, I think the keyboard warriors have to take that as a
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small victory. Nobody got injured on the play.
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Well, they got a return, unfortunately.
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Oh. Oh, just out of the reach there. All
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right, this is her sixth straight serve. She's going to have a seventh. Still no
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injuries on the keyboard warrior side. I'll be shocked if we can get through this without any. Oh, a nice little bump
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there from Lun and not sure what Taran
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was doing or why he was blaming his uh partner on that play. It looked like he
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was trying to point some fingers when he clearly didn't move at all to make the
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play that he had. And now L unit's going to call timeout. He seems to be the
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leader of this squad. Huddle up, guys. Okay, we're calling timeout. One of the
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many that we might pick. Okay, guys. Main advantages of their team, they are
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faster, stronger, taller, and better.
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talented more talented practice. Yes. Okay. Let's see what we can do about
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their visibility. Okay. What's the move here that uh the keyboard warriors have
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in store? Lionus clearly the uh the spokesman for the group. Taran wants to
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be as far away from the group as girls as possible. It's like so the girls are
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wearing the hats. I'm not sure what this means. Is that obstructing their view?
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Cuz I don't think it's going to matter. We're back on her way. Cornwall loses a
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hat. It doesn't matter. Oh, what a dig. Oh, look. This is the rally of the night
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so far, Brandon. And it's over. Oh, they
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got a point. It's over. Everyone go
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home. My goodness. Taran almost went down a hard on a celebration. Did you
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notice that while the group went together, he went down to one hand to
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keep himself up and never got actually congratulated by anybody on the team.
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Sort of looks like a Tolken character you might find in a Lord of the Rings movie. He hit Money Man in the back of
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the head with his serve and is laughing about it.
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Oh, that one hurt.
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Another point for the Spartan women.
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It is interesting. Notice that Lionus is even struggling kicking a rubber chicken
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across the floor. This is actually probably a better tactic, but the issue
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here isn't necessarily whether or not they're holding a rubber chicken. It's whether or not the keyboard warriors can
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get the ball over the net. Oh, nice
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return by Murka. And the keyboard warriors are on the board again. Oh,
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nice dig by Lunit, but he just has no support. Dennis had he didn't want
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nothing to do with it. He jumped. I don't know if you want to call it a jump
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necessarily is more of like a shutter stutter step, but he moved anyway. So,
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the the cowboy hats didn't work. The chickens, eh, it got them a little
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flustered. Now, after another timeout, looks like they're bringing out the oven mitts. Not going to lie to you, I think
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this is a real poor tactic. I don't see these oven mitts really affecting them that much. Like if they want to win this
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game, they got to pull out the big guns and pull them out fast. Yeah, they need to pull out some string and tie their
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hands behind their back. That might help them win this one. So now the girls have
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to wear a cowboy hat, hold a chicken, and wear an oven mitt. And it still
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didn't matter. The ball's over. Alunit bumps it to Money Man. He was having a
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strong game, but then decided I feel like strong game's a pretty generous
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term for what he's been having this afternoon. Girl side, Tyler, it's just
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been no mercy. Just one after another. You're really putting these guys at a
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health risk the longer this match goes on and Ela with a nice little bump and
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Taran can't get it over. My goodness, you can't fake that position he got his
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back into and where the ball actually hit his hand. Contortionist in a circus
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sole would have been proud of that. Oh, they got one over. Got another one over.
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There you go. That's the challenge at the net I was looking for, Brandon. And
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there's a point. There's a point. Now, I want to go back to what I said on the previous point. I said America Net needs
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a challenge at the net. He challenged at the net on that one. They won the point.
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Wonder if I should put down the playbyplay headset and go down and guess
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coach this team for a while.
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And another unfirst error from the ladies and they're just giving them away
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right now. The Warriors, the keyboard warriors, they're exploring a tactic
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that I would have thought would have been good for the women is just get let them make mistakes, right? The less they
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have to do, the better. Okay, I'm feeling good. Okay, next point wins.
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Well, Brandon, looks like Lionus has called his standard next goal win
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scenario here. Judging by the pace of
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play thus far tonight, I'm not sure this is going to be any benefit to the
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keyboard warriors, but let's see what happens.
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Nice little serve there from
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Luke gets it over and now Taran with the
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two-handed slap
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Well, Tyler, mercifully, this one's over. I don't know if it was exactly how
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they thought it'd go, but nonetheless, I think uh the girls definitely put one on
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them this afternoon. We scored one point. We scored one legitimate point
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against them. It all went downhill from there. I enjoyed it more than I
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expected, and I was getting not good, but less bad at the end. I think Golden.
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How do you think you did?
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Yeah, volleyball is fun. I I like
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volleyball.
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All right, guys. We gave him a good fight, but uh I think we'll have to give
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this one to him. Huge thank you to the Trinity
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Western women's volleyball team. You guys were absolutely fantastic sports.
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Huge thank you to the Langley Event Center for allowing us to be here today.
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And a huge thank you to you guys for watching. Don't miss any more Nerd Sports because we are going to have some
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fantastic additional episodes coming. See you next time.