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Do you suffer from intense cravings for knowledge of tech-related events? Do you

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frequently wake up screaming, "THE LATEST DRIVER BORKS THE BIOS?" Ask your

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doctor if tech news is right for you, or just keep watching and ask him later.

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Reviews for Intel's Arrow Lake refresh CPUs are out, and they make me want to

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yell, "Intel's so back!" EVEN IF XEO Pat

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Gelsinger's not, because [laughter] the Sorry.

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Because the Core Ultra 7 270K Plus and Ultra 5 250K Plus could politely be

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called flagship killers, beating their own predecessors and performing nearly

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as well as AMD's top chips in gaming, but at a much lower price, $300 and $200

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US respectively and respectively. And they do even better in multi-core

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productivity-focused stuff. This is like Intel's MacBook Neo moment, almost. What

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would get them over the line is allowing desktop sockets to support multiple CPU

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generations, something Vice President Robert Hallock said he could see Intel

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doing in the future, but that's not now. So, you're telling me there's a chance?

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>> Yeah. Intel got another small win today. Brand new jack-of-all-trades,

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master-of-none video game Crimson Desert, will support Arc GPUs after

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blocking Arc GPU owners from even getting past the title screen of the

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game. Today's update lets users finally run the game, but poorly, since the devs

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ignored Intel's many offers to help with optimization. But they say they're

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working on it now, which is a big improvement over telling Arc owners to

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just get a refund. You Deal with it. Scrub. Who buys Arc? Microsoft has

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released an emergency patch to fix issues stemming from their March Patch

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Tuesday update. Have we been living in the same week for the last few months?

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The original update broke Microsoft account sign-ins in a bunch of Microsoft

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apps. When trying to log in, users were met with a "You'll need the internet for

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this, chief" notification even when their devices were clearly online.

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>> Or were they? They're so online, it's like unhealthy.

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Microsoft's initial suggestion is to try restarting your PC as dictated by the

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tech scriptures. Just make sure you stay connected while you do it, because

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restarting without the internet could make things worse. Best go download the

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KB5085516 patch officially if you have been

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affected, and hope that Microsoft is getting as annoyed by all of this

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instability as you are. VP Scott Hanselman publicly said he hates

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mandatory Microsoft account requirements during Windows 11 setup and might do

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something about it. Keyword, might. >> telling me there's a chance? Windows

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chief Pavan Davuluri announced in a blog post that they're rolling back Copilot

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integrations from Snipping Tool, Photos, Widgets, and Notepad, promising to only

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put AI where it's genuinely useful. >> Up your butt.

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Davuluri shared the sentiment of not wanting to be slop. And that's great,

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because we are in a time that requires awarding points for doing the bare

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minimum. Between fixing what they broke, unforcing accounts nobody wanted, and

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removing AI absolutely no one, not a soul, asked for, is Microsoft listening?

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Someone check in on them. Ensure they haven't been hacked. The White House

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just released a national AI legislative framework covering everything from child

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protections to intellectual property, not property of intellectual children.

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They're mine. Central to the plan is preempting state AI laws, arguing that a

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patchwork of conflicting state laws could undermine American innovation.

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That should be fine. Pretty sure the US has historically been totally chill

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about states' rights. >> Not really an issue. >> The framework also codifies Trump's rape

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payer protection pledge, requiring tech firms to pay for the electricity their

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data centers consume, so regular people aren't stuck with the bill, which sounds

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good, but ProPublica released an investigation Friday that found DOJ

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officials have been installed inside America's nuclear regulator, the NRC, to

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fast-track reactor approvals for AI companies, with one telling staff to

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assume the NRC is going to do whatever we tell the NRC to do. Also totally

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fine, it's not like hastily constructed cooling and containment facilities for

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nuclear plants have caused that many issues before.

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>> times, max. >> They're not irrevocable. Critics have called out the framework for being too

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industry-friendly, with Bloomberg calling it a blueprint for AI companies

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to carry on with business as usual, and they're owned by a billionaire.

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Meanwhile, Australia just took the opposite approach, telling data center

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operators to generate their own energy, pay for infrastructure, and invest in

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local jobs, or their proposals won't even be considered, which is, of course,

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translated from the original Australian, "Oi, THAT WALL BE STOLEN BY VEGEMITE." A

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beautiful language, beautiful people. One proposal the regulators haven't

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considered is that of our sponsor,

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Ground News, the platform that gathers articles from many different sources

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reporting on a story, so you can compare coverage and see what angles get

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emphasized. Not a lot of people know this, but TechLinked is made in a

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hyperbaric chamber on the ocean floor. To avoid decompression sickness, we need

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to pump in a steady stream of balanced news, and Ground News is the perfect

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source. For every story, you get a bias bar showing political leanings,

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reliability, and ownership. Their blind spot feed makes sure you're not stuck in

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an echo chamber, figuratively. The hyperbaric chamber is pretty echoey,

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actually. You get news from outlets from around the world, all in one place, all

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ad-free. Built by a former NASA engineer, it's recognized by the Nobel

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Peace Center, so you know it's good. Save 40% on Ground News Vantage Plan

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using our link in the description. Whether your doctor says they're right

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for you or not, you should definitely watch the Quick Bits.

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Doctors. They're just Googling everything anyway. I can do that.

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Samsung's Galaxy S26 is getting Apple AirDrop support this week via a Quick

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Share update. It takes advantage of the same workaround that Google developed

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back in November, which allowed iPhones and Pixel 10 series phones to send files

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to each other via AirDrop and Quick Share, respectively, while Tim Cook

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slammed his hands on the other side of the glass and screamed, >> You will burn! Android users will be

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expected to enable it manually in settings and have a device with Play

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Services 26.11 or higher. So, you still

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get a whiff of that Apple elitist experience. GrapheneOS, the

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privacy-focused Android fork, announced on Friday that they will never require

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the collection of personal information, age verification laws or no. In the

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tweet equivalent of that "Do you hear the people sing" song from Les Mis. This

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comes not long after GrapheneOS announced a long-term partnership with

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Motorola, who I'm guessing will want to

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comply with laws. Big Daddy Motorola has

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yet to comment, but I expect they might go all a Jean Valjean ON GRAPHENE. JUST

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US! YEAH, OKAY. THEY'RE FRENCH, RIGHT? Hacking group Shiny Hunters have claimed

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responsibility for a data breach at Crunchyroll, Sony's anime streaming

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platform. The hackers reportedly made off with 100 GB of user data, including

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credit card details and email addresses. Wait, they had all that anime sitting

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there, and all they took was boring credit card numbers? What a bunch of rubes. The hackers reportedly got in

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through Telus Digital, Crunchyroll's outsourcing partner, which Shiny Hunters

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breached earlier this month, stealing 700 TB of internal data. Come on, Shiny

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Hunters. First Panera Bread, then Telus,

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now anime? Is nothing sacred to you? And

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Northwestern University researchers have developed AI-evolved legged

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meta-machines straight out of Metal Gear Solid: Revengeance. Rather than creating

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a specialized machine or manually configuring the best all-terrain design,

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the researchers decided to let the machine configure itself. These modular

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robots snap together in various legged configurations and adapt their movements

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to different terrain in real time. You can even chop one in half, and it'll

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continue to drag itself by by its remaining limbs in a charming display of

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resilience that a few years from now probably won't seem like an

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ill-thought-out ability to give a robot. Researchers say these bots can hit the

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ground running in unstructured outdoor environments, which is great, because

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soon that's where we'll all be living. >> Hey, they can't find us among the trees.

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And stopping prescriptions suddenly can be dangerous, so make sure you come back

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here on Wednesday for your next scheduled dose of tech news. Side effects may include irrational fear of

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Microsoft updates, spontaneous ranting about Apple, and recurring dreams in

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which Peter Thiel breastfeeds you. >> Wait, what? I thought that was normal.