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somewhere in the Multiverse there is an alternate Dimension where I know nothing

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of tech news and only report on recent developments in nearby clouds look that

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one shaped like a graphics card Intel's

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hot new meteor Lake CPUs might actually

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perform worse on single core tasks with

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lower instructions per clock or IPC than

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their predecessors from the 14th and 13th gen lineups and

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that's that's just not right these benchmarks come from hardware test David

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hang who compared the core Ultra 7 155h

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to Apple's M2 Pro and M3 Pro AMD's ryzen

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77840 U and 7840 HS and Intel's own core

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i7 13700 H by testing a single core

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using the spec CPU Benchmark and after some quick maths he concluded that the

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155h was at the bottom though it was at

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least within Striking Distance of the two ryzen chips hang notes that the

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comparison between the 155h and the 13700 H might be somewhat distorted

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because the 155h uses LP ddr5 memory

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instead of regular ddr5 memory but that increased margin of error wouldn't

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account for the Gap in performance between the two chips it's a bit like if

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I lost a race and blamed it on the fact that the winner was clean shaven and

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thus more aerodynamic this brings the Memories Back boy with a mustache yet

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not yet not clean shaven to be clear IPC

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isn't the only metric to measure a Chip's performance and it doesn't mean

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that these chips haven't improved at all especially given recent BIOS updates but

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it might indicate that Intel made significant compromises when optimizing

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its chips for AI acceleration and beefing up its integrated GPU turns out

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there just wasn't enough beef to go around where's the beef a hacking group

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believed to have ties to the Iranian government has targeted local American

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Water Utilities in a series of brazen cyber attacks one target was the Alaqua

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Water and Sewer Authority which is responsible for the needs of around

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22,000 Pennsylvania residents hackers

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shut off a remote monitoring device that regulates water pressure at one pumping

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station luckily an alarm alerted the station's crew and they switched over to

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manual operation also luckily the systems hackers accessed wouldn't have

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allowed them to control the chemicals used in drinking water and you know

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poison the water supply so that so that's good the problem is that small

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public utility ities are typically underfunded and understandably

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ill-prepared to deal with sophisticated International cyber criminals even worse

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these attacks weren't actually all that sophisticated experts believe the

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hackers probably broke into these systems through remote devices that were

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still using the default password many of these utilities are also struggling to

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deal with the far more pervasive problem of preventing leeching from decades old

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lead service lines yeah remember that keep forgetting about that story what's

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they they're putting something in the wall water so when you think about it who are the real terrorists

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International cyber criminals or elderly

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plumbers that's what I thought on Tuesday SpaceX launched the first

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Starling Satellites with the ability to communicate directly with cell phones

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these satellites will be used to provide text messaging and eventually voice and

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data services to T-Mobile us customers SpaceX will also be working with

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providers in Australia Canada Japan and New Zealand a primary goal is to reduce

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dead zones and provide consistent service even in Rural and remote areas

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which is yet another nail in the coffin for Cabin in the Woods horror movies

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somebody please call the police my suspension of disbelief is evaporating

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it's been a good year for SpaceX they seriously expanded their total number of

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successful launches in 2023 with a record 96 missions compared to just 61

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in 2022 the company likewise closed out the year with two back-to-back launches

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in one night on December 28th get your tickets now it's in the past sadly they

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also lost their oldest reusable rocket booster 1058 which tipped and fell

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during transport through rough Seas after completing its 19th successful

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Mission can finally vote and now this

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happens it was just getting on the dating scene in a tweet mourning the

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loss SpaceX VP of launch Kiko donev

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noted that the design flaw that led to 108's demise was fixed in later models

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with self-leveling legs but 1058 was

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never retrofitted due to age it's an end we should all aspire to a long life of

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service and Adventure only to trip and die by brutal belly flop this is how I'm

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going to go now it's time for quick bits brought to you by who Samsung their

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Galaxy unpacked event is coming up and who knows what they're going to unveil

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it could be a hat or maybe a sandwich but most likely phones with a heavy

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focus on AI their newest smartphones are sure to be their smartest ever and you

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can can even reserve one now with no deposit required plus they'll give you a

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$50 credit and you can use those savings by a hat and maybe a sandwich check out

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Samsung's Galaxy unpacked event on January 17th and head to the link below

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to reserve your new device today I could really use a sandwich I wish I could

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survive on quick bits alone sadly quick bits are devoid of nutrition and mildly

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poisonous please enjoy an entire legal industry has been spawned to help

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independent Amazon sellers get their accounts reinstated on the platform

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Amazon generally withholds any money when a seller's account is suspended and

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according to many sellers the company will often also withhold the reason for

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suspending the account we get your money you don't get to know why we're Banning

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you why shut up get out of here and if

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that weren't enough for sellers to deal with Amazon's new AI review summaries

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will helpfully highlight complaints made by a very small number of buyers for

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example according to the AI customers say this particular shelf is a great

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addition to their bathroom and also a complete waste of money frankly that

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sounds a bit too much like my parents discussing Renovations because they have

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a rebranding problem Microsoft is rebranding Edge on the Google Play Store

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and Apple App Store as Microsoft Edge AI

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browser it needs a theme

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song Let's browse that sounds like the title of a gritty action movie at least

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grammatically The Edge mobile apps description now heavily focuses on its

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GPT 4 and Dolly 3 powered features and

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mentions AI a total of seven times notably if you look up Edge on the

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Microsoft desktop store you won't find any of this new branding probably

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because most people who use Edge on desktop do so because either it came

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pre-installed on their computer or they're not on speaking terms with

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chrome right now it's a little awkward the adult site with a black and orange

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logo you know what I'm talking about has blocked another two states Montana and

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North Carolina in in response to the passage of age verification laws that

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the website's parent company ILO says

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endanger privacy by requiring citizens to hand over their governmen issued IDs

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to random internet smut Peddlers this is clearly going to affect a lot of people

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in North Carolina but it's unclear as of yet how it will affect Montana which I

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am given to understand is primarily populated by flags and cattle 2 million

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cows they have 1 million people oh

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Montana oh it's a state too a woman in

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Delaware is crediting her Apple watch with saving her life and that of her cat

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after a broken heater started leaking carbon monoxide in her apartment Natalie

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nasatka had a sudden dizzy spell and found herself unable to stand so she

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activated her watch's SOS feature summoning emergency services in the nick

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of time while we're glad Natalie's okay and this is obviously great PR for Apple

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if you don't have an extra few hundred just lying around toy buy a new watch

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you could also just shell out for a carbon monoxide detector seriously

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they're only like $30 and your cats will thank you at least they should thank you

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but what can you expect from a carnivorous squirrel that poops in a box

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they will eat you when you die and we've got new hyperd detailed photos of

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Jupiter's volcanic moon IO after NASA's

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Juno spacecraft passed within 930 Mi of

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the moon during its 57th flyby of the

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gas giant this is the closest any Mission has flown to io's surface in 23

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years since NASA's Galileo craft passed within 112 Mi of io's Southern pole the

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images have been called beautiful and magnificent by astronomers and like a

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macro shot of a dramatically lit chocolate truffle by me just

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now now not to be dramatic but it would

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also be lit if you came back on Friday for more Tech news I promise I won't

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make jokes like that