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Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I go back to my parents to find the

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Tamagotchi that lived on my backpack in middle school. My first technology.

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Little guy never paid the rent. Anyways, tech news time. Mozilla is once again

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refusing to pull the plug on Windows 7 users, announcing that Firefox 115

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extended support release will continue receiving security updates for another 6

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months, pushing the deadline from February to August 2026. This is now the

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fourth extension since the original September 2024 end date, meaning Windows

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7 users have been on over 6 years of borrowed time since Microsoft officially

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ended support in January 2020, which is

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an impressive commitment from both Mosilla and the people who apparently

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still haven't found the will to upgrade.

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I'm too weak. And Mosilla is not alone in enabling this behavior. Microsoft

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themselves still push Defender security updates all the way back to Windows 7

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and even Vista. Vista, you dare speak

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its name? Some holdouts have even used bypass tools to install Windows extended

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security updates they were never supposed to get. And Vista users pulled

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a similar trick with Windows Server 2008 updates whose final support just ended

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in January. At what point does a software company decide that hospice

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care is just a little too unethical for these older operating systems? I don't

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know. I just It might be time to take them out behind the barn, guys. We're

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talking about operating systems, so it's okay. The FBI has launched an

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investigation into multiple games on Steam that were secretly embedded with

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malware. The infected titles include Block Blasters, Pirate Fi, Dash Verse,

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Slash-Fs, Lampy, Lunara, Muldova, Keia, and

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Tokenova. Recognize any of those? Was it

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the one that's not a game and actually a landlocked Eastern European nation next

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to Romania? Got your ass. All of the infected games

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were seated with malware designed to drain crypto wallets and hijack

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accounts. The bureau's Seattle division is urging victims to fill out a form on

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fbi.gov, where they may be eligible for restitution under federal law. The

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agency suspects that all of the infected titles were the work of a single threat

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actor operating between 2024 and 2026.

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Valve has also been emailing affected users to confirm the investigation. The

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most infamous case was Blockb Blasters, which stole $32,000 from streamer Rivo

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Plavix during a live cancer treatment

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fundraiser on Twitch. When the scammers were tracked down by security research

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group VX underground, who found the hacker's Telegram credentials hardcoded

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into the malware, they attempted to justify themselves by saying, "The

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streamer I'd probably make it back in a few hours." And I think I speak for

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everyone when I say that these guys can eat schmidt and pie.

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>> Whoa. Language. >> It's the hardest words I know. The game

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was verified on Steam as it contained no malware on release. But a patch pushed

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by the hackers added a crypto drainer later, which investigators estimated

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stole $150,000 total from hundreds of accounts. Despite

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Valve regularly pulling these games, the flood of new releases keeps letting bad

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actors slip through the cracks. This was the perfect option for giving the FBI

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something to investigate that isn't related to extremely well-connected

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deceased financeers. So, it worked out. Iranian hackers launched a massive cyber

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attack on medical technology giant Striker about 2 weeks after the US

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launched air strikes on the country. The Iran linked hacking group Honda has

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claimed responsibility, saying it extracted 50 terabytes of data and wiped

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over 200,000 systems, servers, and

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mobile devices. Security researchers believe the hackers gained access to

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Striker's Microsoft Intune console and used the company's own infrastructure to

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wipe everything clean. Honestly, it's pretty wild that there are Microsoft

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features still stable enough to even allow a hack like this. Striker

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confirmed a global disruption to their Microsoft environment and says medical

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devices like Mo and Lifeack are still safe to use, but the company has no

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timeline for full restoration. In an SEC filing, Striker disclosed it doesn't yet

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know the full financial impact, which is

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concerning for a Fortune 500 company. I mean, you're in charge of 500 fortunes,

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guys. That's what that means. Honda claims that striker offices in 79

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countries have been shut down. >> Nice. >> Close again.

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Still working on numbers. Um and employees report that even personal

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phones were wiped if they had corporate apps installed. And the conflict is

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having other impacts on the tech world as well. Iranian drone strikes knocked

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Qatar's Ross Leafon helium complex offline on March 2nd, removing roughly

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30% of the global helium supply. Helium

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is used to cool silicon wafers during chip fabrication, and there's no viable

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immediate substitute, putting South Korea's entire semiconductor industry on

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a two-week clock before things start breaking down. SKH Heinix says it has

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diversified and secured sufficient inventory for now. But if the outage

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drags on, it could be an issue for everyone, including computer

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manufacturers, party supply stores, and that creepy clown that keeps showing up

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in the background of my childhood photos. He's in the back of every shot

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with our sponsor, LifeWave Pro. Do you

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have teeth? Do you brush them with a manual toothbrush? You're doing it

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wrong. The Life and Wave Pro is the world's first electric toothbrush to

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combine both oscillation and vibration

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in what Lifen calls wave MOTION TECHNOLOGY. WOW. Which means it actually

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gets into the gaps between your teeth and along the gum line where regular

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brushes miss. You just completely

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It comes with two pro brush heads, one for plaque removal and one for

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whitening. It also has a smart pressure sensor that lets you know if you're

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brushing too hard, keeping your gums healthy and happy. There's a companion

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app with brushing reports and a timer. And it has a wireless charging stand,

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which you'll barely need because the battery lasts up to 70 days on a single

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charge. And at 55 dB, it's quiet enough

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that you won't wake anyone up at 6:00 a.m. starting at $99.99. Check out the

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Life and Wave Pro using our link below. As far as I understand it, Tamagotchis

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don't usually survive for 20 years, but somehow mine has. Frankly, it's not a

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pleasant sight. It can barely wiggle its wrinkled body. It wakes up to hear the

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quick bits, gives a little smile, and then goes back to sleep. It won't be

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long now. I hope Google Maps is getting

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what Google calls its biggest navigation update in over a decade, replacing the

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flat 2D driving view with a full 3D

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immersive navigation mode that renders buildings, overpasses, crosswalks, and

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traffic signs along your route in more detail than it did before. There's also

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a conversational ask maps feature for natural language queries rolling out now

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in the US. Just hope when you use this

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the Gemini doesn't start hallucinating or you'll get the full rally driver

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experience. Three left over Crest

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straight off a cliff. G Fiber, the ISP

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formerly known as Google Fiber, is merging with Astound Broadband in a deal

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that makes investment firm Stone Peak the majority owner. With Alphabet

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stepping back to a minority shareholder role, the combined company will keep the

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Giber executive team and aims to become a national fiber platform. Though Google

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declined to comment beyond its press release. So instead of killing Giber

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outright, Google just put it in a little basket and left it at someone else's

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house, which canonically makes Giber Harry Potter. If if like Google is

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Voldemort here and he and he killed Harry's parents but had a last second

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change of heart and kept Harry alive. but didn't want to raise him as his

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weird little snake baby because, well, frankly, he might have been the dark

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lord, but he was not ready to be a parent. So, the world's most annoying

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hacking group, Shiny Hunters, has struck again, claiming to have stolen nearly

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one pabyte of data from Canadian tech

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outsourcing giant Telus Digital. That [music] pabyte allegedly includes source

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code, financial information, FBI background checks, and voice recordings

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of support calls across 28 of its client companies. The hunters got in using

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Google Cloud credentials found in the earlier sales loft drift breach they

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conducted that is still causing problems. Shiny Hunters demanded $65

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million and so far Telus has ghosted them. But I don't know. The hackers

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might not take no for an answer. They probably really want that Canadian money

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cuz it's it's shiny. Bill uh bills. Our bills have some some shiny parts. Do you

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get it? >> They will never stop until they get our $2 coins.

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>> They will never stop until their BIRD NESTS ARE COMPLETE. A TEXAS Cybert truck

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owner is suing Tesla after her vehicle allegedly tried to drive straight off an

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overpass in full self-driving mode. The plaintiff in the suit, Justine St.

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Amore, who was evidently out for a drive

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while taking a break from being the fem fatal in a film noir detective movie, is

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interestingly connecting this incident directly to Elon Musk being

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irresponsible. >> What? >> What? Huh? Claiming that Tesla was

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negligent in choosing to keep him as CEO. The lawsuit specifically references

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Musk overriding the opinion of Tesla engineers who recommended LiDAR over a

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cameraonly system to support Tesla's FSD capabilities. Last week, a judge upheld

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a $243 million verdict in a separate

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fatal autopilot crash, which is bad news for Tesla, as the NHTSA has linked the

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system to nearly 1,000 other crashes.

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And with Musk needing to sell 10 million FSD subscriptions to unlock his trillion

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bonus, I think he might have to settle for just having $843 billion instead.

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>> A >> chin up, buddy. If you don't get it,

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you're a loser. And perhaps inspired by

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Elon, Alexa Plus now has an adults only

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sassy personality mode that lets Amazon's assistant curse and roast you.

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though it will steer clear of truly not safe for work stuff like explicit sexual

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content or discussion of illegal activities because you never go full

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Grock. Sassy mode cannot be activated when the Amazon kids mode is enabled and

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requires a facial scan to unlock. A PC

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World writer got absolutely dragged when Alexa told him it's not her fault his

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lights have trust issues. And maybe he should try being specific instead of

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blaming the hardware for your vague requests. Yikes.

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>> I can fix her. >> Riley, no. >> She's probably just grumpy. She just

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needs a back rope. And you can fix your alarming lack of tech news by coming

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back on Monday for more tech news. Remember, the virtual pet inside your

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Tamagotchi is real and alive and apparently immortal in like a gross

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Lovecraftian way where it just kind of keeps aging but doesn't actually die.

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Have a good weekend.