now you guys might know me as a peppy big personality in a small package type
of character but believe it or not i'm not actually
this wired 24 hours a day the real reason that employees at Linus media
group are allowed to roll in anywhere between 9 30 and 10 am every day is that
i am not a morning person
but it's 2017. why struggle in the morning like some kind of neanderthal
when technology can help you wake up
like a god so here's five weird gadgets to help you
get your ass out of bed in the morning and here's a message from our sponsor
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i'm basically in an abusive relationship with the snooze button
in exchange for my gentle or sometimes less gentle caress
it gives me more time away from the tdm of reality
i know that i'm suffering in the long term by not just getting up but the call
of the void is just so alluring
but what if there was no snooze
well the ruggie is an alarm clock that's
more like a bath mat when your alarm goes off it rings
and rings and rings until you actually get out of
bed and stand on the mat by default you
have to stand on the ruggie for three seconds for it to turn off but
if you think you're the kind of person who's liable to uh
you know just roll back into bed and close your eyes again or
scroll on your phone instead of actually getting up
you can use the ruggies included software to increase the standing time
to up to 30 seconds and if you step off of it the time
resets you can also upload an mp3 that will
play after the alarm though i'm not sure why you can't just
change the alarm sound and the ruggy website has a bunch of uh
inspiring affirmations to choose from my personal favorite is
i acknowledge my own self-worth and my confidence is soaring and there are some
intentionally funny ones too like the uh ready to kick some ice come on you can
do it do it now and have a wonderful day
but realistically i would definitely find a way around that one i need
something a little more unpredictable meet
everyone's favorite self-driving do disturber clocky
now clocky actually does have a snooze button but you're only allowed to press
it once before he drives himself off your nightstand and peels off down the
hall this lovable rabble rouser is guaranteed to get you up and at him and
scare the ever loving piss out of your pets
he comes in a bunch of fun colors james chose the more expensive chrome version
just to screw with me but you can get whatever works for you
setup is about as easy as could be with intuitively labeled buttons and you can
even turn off clocky's driving action by
simply poking him in the eye
the only drag is that he requires four
sold separately aaa batteries and for forty dollars for
a clock on wheels i'd personally appreciate a rechargeable lithium ion
inside maybe with a magnetic charging cable so that he can still be free to
hit the open road so i'm looking forward to a v2
but clocky's morning shenanigans are also
easily countered so maybe you're one of those weird cold
shower types looking for the most hardcore possible wake up
solution maybe you want an alarm clock that
actually electrifies you yes my friends the padlock shock clock
delivers an electrifying jolt to your body so you will literally jump out of
bed the idea is that the watches beeps
vibes and yes shocks will give you an
adrenaline-fueled start to your day and
actually the pav lock can also be used
to break or form habits
okay that's good yeah okay i'm awake i'm awake jesus
so pressing on the watch will deliver from one to five shocks of an intensity
of your choosing the highest setting is
about as painful by the way as the 130 dollar price tag so theoretically
the idea here is that you can use it to condition yourself to associate your
cravings for sugar or your nasty thoughts about your co-workers with a
short sharp zap is that real pavlok recommends that you
set aside five minutes per day to shock
yourself while you perform your bad habit for five to ten days
or some of them can actually even be automated thanks to integration with if
this than that so you can get shocked whenever you buy stuff you don't need on
amazon use social media or hell every 30 minutes just because and
if you're a nail biter or a compulsive
finger sniffer you can actually even program it to shock you whenever you
move your hand up to your face moving on to something a little less
masochistic the philips wake up light is probably the most civilized item on our
list gently rousing you from slumber by simulating the rising sun
over a 20 to 40 minute period depending on your preference the light gradually
changes color from red to yellow becoming brighter and even playing some
gentle nature sounds as it reaches your wake up time the idea is that the bulb's
light will signal your body to begin suppressing melatonin the hormone
responsible for regulating sleep and wakefulness so that you'll
wake up in the morning feeling more like a professional youtuber and less like
his evil twin sourpants mcgrog face the
light's got a well-organized touch interface you can snooze your alarm by
touching anywhere on the surface and get this you can even use it as a lamp
brilliant literally and you can also use it backwards
simulating sunset to help you unwind at the end of the day
now 135 dollars might sound a little steep but if you
live in a part of the country where raw turns his back on you for nine months
out of the year the wake up light is also supposed to help fight seasonal
affective disorder i just wish its clean look wasn't uh
upset by the non-removable fm antenna
bringing us finally to number five if
you guys are anything like me you spent your entire childhood as well as an
unhealthy portion of your adolescence dreaming of being woken up by a giant
rube goldberg machine like some kind of kooky inventor
well for adults with floor space disposable income and
no chance of having any visitors dreams can come true
oh what the hell what's wrong with you
yeah obviously that didn't work at all we just saw this thing on amazon and
wanted to buy it it's not an alarm clock
and you know what else isn't an alarm clock squarespace thanks to squarespace
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purchase so thanks for watching guys if this
video sucked you know what to do but if it was awesome hit the like button get
subscribed maybe consider checking out where to buy some of the handy wake up
tech we featured today at the link in the video description the pavlok in
particular will definitely get you out of bed by the way and uh i think that's
pretty much it right we've got our merch store link down there as well as our community forum which you should totally
join hold on
i know it's coming