WEBVTT

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now you guys might know me as a peppy big personality in a small package type

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of character but believe it or not i'm not actually

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this wired 24 hours a day the real reason that employees at Linus media

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group are allowed to roll in anywhere between 9 30 and 10 am every day is that

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i am not a morning person

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but it's 2017. why struggle in the morning like some kind of neanderthal

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when technology can help you wake up

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like a god so here's five weird gadgets to help you

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get your ass out of bed in the morning and here's a message from our sponsor

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sennheiser for helping us make this video their new hd1 wireless in-ears

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aptx and take anywhere mobility check them out at the link below

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i'm basically in an abusive relationship with the snooze button

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in exchange for my gentle or sometimes less gentle caress

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it gives me more time away from the tdm of reality

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i know that i'm suffering in the long term by not just getting up but the call

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of the void is just so alluring

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but what if there was no snooze

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well the ruggie is an alarm clock that's

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more like a bath mat when your alarm goes off it rings

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and rings and rings until you actually get out of

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bed and stand on the mat by default you

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have to stand on the ruggie for three seconds for it to turn off but

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if you think you're the kind of person who's liable to uh

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you know just roll back into bed and close your eyes again or

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scroll on your phone instead of actually getting up

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you can use the ruggies included software to increase the standing time

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to up to 30 seconds and if you step off of it the time

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resets you can also upload an mp3 that will

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play after the alarm though i'm not sure why you can't just

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change the alarm sound and the ruggy website has a bunch of uh

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inspiring affirmations to choose from my personal favorite is

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i acknowledge my own self-worth and my confidence is soaring and there are some

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intentionally funny ones too like the uh ready to kick some ice come on you can

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do it do it now and have a wonderful day

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but realistically i would definitely find a way around that one i need

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something a little more unpredictable meet

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everyone's favorite self-driving do disturber clocky

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now clocky actually does have a snooze button but you're only allowed to press

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it once before he drives himself off your nightstand and peels off down the

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hall this lovable rabble rouser is guaranteed to get you up and at him and

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scare the ever loving piss out of your pets

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he comes in a bunch of fun colors james chose the more expensive chrome version

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just to screw with me but you can get whatever works for you

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setup is about as easy as could be with intuitively labeled buttons and you can

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even turn off clocky's driving action by

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simply poking him in the eye

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the only drag is that he requires four

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sold separately aaa batteries and for forty dollars for

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a clock on wheels i'd personally appreciate a rechargeable lithium ion

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inside maybe with a magnetic charging cable so that he can still be free to

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hit the open road so i'm looking forward to a v2

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but clocky's morning shenanigans are also

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easily countered so maybe you're one of those weird cold

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shower types looking for the most hardcore possible wake up

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solution maybe you want an alarm clock that

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actually electrifies you yes my friends the padlock shock clock

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delivers an electrifying jolt to your body so you will literally jump out of

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bed the idea is that the watches beeps

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vibes and yes shocks will give you an

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adrenaline-fueled start to your day and

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actually the pav lock can also be used

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to break or form habits

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okay that's good yeah okay i'm awake i'm awake jesus

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so pressing on the watch will deliver from one to five shocks of an intensity

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of your choosing the highest setting is

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about as painful by the way as the 130 dollar price tag so theoretically

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the idea here is that you can use it to condition yourself to associate your

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cravings for sugar or your nasty thoughts about your co-workers with a

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short sharp zap is that real pavlok recommends that you

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set aside five minutes per day to shock

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yourself while you perform your bad habit for five to ten days

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or some of them can actually even be automated thanks to integration with if

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this than that so you can get shocked whenever you buy stuff you don't need on

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amazon use social media or hell every 30 minutes just because and

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if you're a nail biter or a compulsive

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finger sniffer you can actually even program it to shock you whenever you

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move your hand up to your face moving on to something a little less

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masochistic the philips wake up light is probably the most civilized item on our

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list gently rousing you from slumber by simulating the rising sun

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over a 20 to 40 minute period depending on your preference the light gradually

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changes color from red to yellow becoming brighter and even playing some

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gentle nature sounds as it reaches your wake up time the idea is that the bulb's

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light will signal your body to begin suppressing melatonin the hormone

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responsible for regulating sleep and wakefulness so that you'll

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wake up in the morning feeling more like a professional youtuber and less like

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his evil twin sourpants mcgrog face the

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light's got a well-organized touch interface you can snooze your alarm by

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touching anywhere on the surface and get this you can even use it as a lamp

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brilliant literally and you can also use it backwards

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simulating sunset to help you unwind at the end of the day

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now 135 dollars might sound a little steep but if you

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live in a part of the country where raw turns his back on you for nine months

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out of the year the wake up light is also supposed to help fight seasonal

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affective disorder i just wish its clean look wasn't uh

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upset by the non-removable fm antenna

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bringing us finally to number five if

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you guys are anything like me you spent your entire childhood as well as an

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unhealthy portion of your adolescence dreaming of being woken up by a giant

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rube goldberg machine like some kind of kooky inventor

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well for adults with floor space disposable income and

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no chance of having any visitors dreams can come true

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oh what the hell what's wrong with you

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yeah obviously that didn't work at all we just saw this thing on amazon and

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wanted to buy it it's not an alarm clock

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and you know what else isn't an alarm clock squarespace thanks to squarespace

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video sucked you know what to do but if it was awesome hit the like button get

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subscribed maybe consider checking out where to buy some of the handy wake up

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tech we featured today at the link in the video description the pavlok in

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particular will definitely get you out of bed by the way and uh i think that's

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pretty much it right we've got our merch store link down there as well as our community forum which you should totally

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join hold on

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i know it's coming