In the future, when humanity travels via
mass relay, tech news will be provided through a digestible data-bearing
sludge. For now though, I'll just give it to you normally, from my mouth. Apple
and Google are close to finalizing a deal in which Apple would pay about $1
billion per year for the use of Google's AI technology to power their Siri voice
assistant. Bloomberg's Mark Gurman reports that Apple is finalizing plans
to commission from Google a custom Gemini model to help overhaul Siri's
summarizer and planner features. However, this planned reliance on Google
is only temporary as Gurman reports that the company is currently building its
own flagship AI model, which it aims to
make available for consumer use as soon as next year. And of course, this isn't
the only deal between the two companies. Google currently pays Apple $20 a year
for search to be the default option on Safari. And under this supposed deal,
Apple would pay $1 billion of that back to Google to continue pretending that
they've made Siri any better. Siri will never change. It got better one time and
that's it. Tesla shareholders have approved Elon Musk's $1 trillion pay
package. Now, it's complicated, but the gist is that shareholders okay the plan
to give Elon stock worth up to $1 trillion
over the next decade providing he hits a number of milestones, which include 20
million Tesla vehicles delivered, 10 million active full self-driving
subscription sold, 1 million Optimus
robots delivered. Uh good luck on that. And 1 million robo-taxis in commercial
operation. That still That also seems like a lot. Musk seems to be getting
right to work on that last milestone though, claiming that the Cybertaxi
vehicle Tesla announced a year ago will begin production in April. Now, that
might not necessarily mean much considering Tesla's grand tradition of
saying things will happen that then do not. Following that tradition, Tesla
just announced they've delayed the reveal of the production Roadster 2 to
April Fools' Day 2026, nearly nine years
after the project was first revealed. It's got to be a prank. And it's hard to
tell if Elon was pranking us or trying to get those 1 million bot sales when he
also said that in the future, prisoners shouldn't go to jail, but instead have a
robot follow them around to make sure they're behaving themsel- kind of like
Navi in Ocarina of Time. Except this Navi stops you from doing crime. I like
this robot a lot more than MY PROBATION OFFICER. HEY!
LISTEN, Twitter has started preloading links and
media from posts across the platform, creating what some are describing as
ghost traffic to external sites. And developers noticed the change after
seeing spikes in referral data from Twitter to platforms like Substack and
Blue Sky, even when users never actually clicked on the links. According to the
company, this behavior is actually intentional. When you tap a link,
Twitter now collapses the original post, letting you still like, reply, repost,
and bookmark while viewing the linked webpage underneath.
You can do it all. So powerful. The idea
is apparently to keep users engaged without leaving the timeline because God
forbid you spend 5 seconds on another site. This is the everything app. Why
would you need to? Critics argue it's just another way for the company to
inflate engagement numbers and muddy everyone else's analytics with some
advertisers already reporting suspicious traffic surges. Elon Musk's Twitter has
gone from suppressing links to Substack and Blue Sky, which they viewed as
competitors, to loading them whether you like it or not. The internet's a wild
ride, baby. If you want to calm things down, check out our sponsor Ground News
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link in the description. One thing to know, the Quick Bits love soup, but
you're not going to catch them eating sludge. They love zupa ogórkowa.
Polish pickle soup. Is anyone Are you Polish? Can we Do we have any idea how
to ogórkowa Huh? Are you Polish? Sure.
Grand Theft Auto 6 has been DELAYED ONCE AGAIN.
I'M SO FRUST- WITH Rockstar confirming the launch is moving from May to
November of 2026. A moment of silence for everyone
really upset about this. This new delay follows reports that some recently fired
employees leaked internal information about the company on Discord, though
it's unclear if that actually had anything to do with this at all.
Guess we'll just have to take two number nines, a number nine large, a number six
with extra dip, a number seven, two number 45s, one with the cheese, and a
large soda while we wait. What is he talking about? Look at him. Meta is the
subject of a Reuters investigation that claims the company earns billions from
posts advertising scams with internal documents reportedly showing Meta just
really struggling with the decision of whether to forfeit all the revenue
they're getting from these scammy ads by removing them or pay the fines if they
keep them up. Ah, it's less about what's the right
thing to do and what's the money what's the more money thing to do.
Some higher value accounts even racked up hundreds of violations before being
shut down, leading to them creating an internal list of the scammiest scammers.
Real creative guys. What's next? A round up of the most smiling smilers? I was
the smiliest smile in my elementary school.
Nice one. Hyundai's IT services subsidiary has
revealed it was hit by a cyberattack between February 22nd and March 2nd of
this year, during which hackers stole names, social security numbers, and
driver's licenses of up to 2.7 million
owners of Hyundai and Kia vehicles. The company says it's brought in forensic
experts, notified law enforcement, and is offering two years of free credit
monitoring to those impacted, which makes everything better. My wife told me
I didn't need that Hyundai Santa Fe, but my love of New Mexico got the BETTER OF
ME. DAMN YOU, BREAKING BAD! REMEMBER WHEN HE THREW THAT PIZZA on the roof?
I haven't seen the show. Oh,
And Tinder is testing a new AI-powered feature called Chemistry that, with your
permission at least, scans your camera roll and asks you questions to learn
your interests and personality in order to get you better matches. The feature
is live in Australia and New Zealand and is slated to roll out more broadly in
2026. Hey, you've both got PICTURES OF
DOGS. GO FOR A DOG WALK. YOU'VE BOTH GOT a million pictures of food. Time for a
dinner date. You've both got a million nudes on your phone.
Now, I've got to get back in the kitchen to get some pictures of the tech news
I'm prepping for Monday's feast. Because it's the tech news sludge.
>> In In the meantime, tell me about your favorite soup or your Mass Effect love
interest. I don't want to hear that.
You can It's okay. Is it the soup or the Mass Effect love
interest? >> It's fine. See you Monday.