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I saw, dude, uh the tech news can be really stressful. But today, we're going

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to try one of my medicinal herbs. Here

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to expand your mind real wide, man. I'm

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good. Okay. >> [laughter] >> Apple has announced that Tim Cook, the

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company CEO since 2011, is stepping

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down. He will be transitioning into his new role as executive chairman of the

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board of directors, who approved the switch unanimously out of fear of Tim's

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bullying. Buy all of your moms an iPhone.

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>> Please, Tim. SHE ALREADY HAS ONE. >> FIRE ANOTHER ONE.

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COOK WILL BE replaced by Apple's senior vice president of hardware engineering,

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John Ternus, a move which is absolutely slanderous to Craig Federighi. This man

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worked his ass off to impress me, and it worked. Like, come on. That's CEO

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material. He even had a cool voice, too, for impressions. iOS 18 is a big

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release. I start every morning with a blood latte made from my enemies'

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remains. >> [laughter] >> What does Ternus sound like? We are

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thrilled to introduce the impossibly thin iPhone Air. He sounds like the guy

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from Parks and Rec that was written off after season 1 cuz he was too boring.

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Tim published a letter, okay, where he says this Ternus guy is so great, but he

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would say that. Oh, well. I mean, at least Johnny Srouji

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was named Apple's chief hardware officer. Finally, you deserved it,

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Srouji. That is such a classic Srouji move.

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Srouji's my boy. A Spanish company called Play Next just beat Valve to the

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punch, launching its own Steam Machine-like competitor months before

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the actual Steam Machine ships. The console-shaped mini PC comes from the

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Emu Deck team. Yes, the retro emulation

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folks, packing a Ryzen 5 5500, a Radeon

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RX 960 XT with 16 gigs of VRAM and 16

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gigs of DDR4, which is the kind of choice you only make when DDR5 costs

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more than the GPU. Play Next OS, a custom Arch Linux build, handles couch

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gaming and controller-first navigation, all wrapped in a 3D printed shell that

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looks like what would happen if an Xbox Series S and a record player had a baby.

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Anything's possible. The starting price is 1,140

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euros, which feels kind of steep for a machine preemptively dunking on a

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product that doesn't exist, especially since Valve still hasn't confirmed

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complete specs or pricing for the actual Steam Machine. Still, if you can't wait

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for the Gabe Cube, Play Next will happily sell you a Gabe less rectangle

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to fill the void. Brave just unveiled Brave Origin, a minimalist new version

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of its browser that strips out everything except the ad blocking and

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anti-tracking features. Finally, a piece

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of software that respects my commitment to getting less for my money. Uh

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evidently, Brave users had been complaining about the bloat of the

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additional features, like the crypto wallet, the VPN, and Leo AI, going so

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far as to strip them out themselves manually. According to Brave, the

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additional features exist in the free version to help fund the app's

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development, but they also sit in opposition to Brave's privacy-first

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ethos. And apparently, that's a problem for some people.

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While on paper, this looks like a weird product move that whiffs of

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inshittification, Brave says that they're just giving users two paths.

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Keep using the free browser, or pay 60 bucks to support the company and get the

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stripped-down Origin build. Linux users get Origin for free, though, because, in

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Brave's view, people who use Linux are crazy, and they just compile their own

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version anyway. Brave, your product moves are confusing, but I got to give

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you this. You know your audience. Say, that reminds me of our sponsor, Micro

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Center. April is desktop deals month at Micro Center, and they've slashed prices

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on some stacked rigs. Check out some of their amazing deals, like this iBUYPOWER

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Slate 9 with an RTX 570 for $450 off.

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Also, if you live in Austin, Texas, jealous, cuz you guys are getting a

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Micro Center. And contrary to what the name would have you believe, it's

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actually pretty big. The grand opening will be later this year, and you can

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sign up at the link below to get a free 128 gig flash drive when the store

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opens. In this economy? Not in Austin, but still want the flash drive? Don't

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stress about it. Micro Center is also doing a grand reopening in North Jersey

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with the same deal. Forget about it. That's what they sound like, right? And

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for all things tech and all things Micro Center, make sure you head over to Micro Center News to stay up to date. It's not

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just cuz it's tech news, but it's pretty cool. Okay. Are we feeling nice and expanded?

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Oh, good. Now, let's roll some quick bits before the crash.

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Written by someone who is not, you know, I don't know.

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>> [laughter] >> SK Hynix employees could each receive

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$477,000

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in bonuses this year, according to the Korean news outlet JoongAng Daily.

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Because that's where we're at right now. Evidently, this is a result of a new

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bonus structure entitling employees to a 10% share of the company's projected

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$169 billion operating profit for 2026.

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Meanwhile, Samsung's labor union, which is pushing for a 15% bonus, is

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threatening a general strike. Not having employees available to work, though, may

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also be a problem for SK Hynix after all of their employees very soon make enough

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to retire, no problem. The NSA is using Anthropic's new Mythos AI model, despite

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the Pentagon labeling Anthropic a supply chain risk, according to Axios's

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confidential sources. The Pentagon cut ties with Anthropic in February after

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they refused to allow mass domestic surveillance, among other things.

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Honestly, this all tracks. Based on what I know about spies from falling asleep

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halfway through Tomorrow Never Dies, nothing makes them want something more

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than being told they can't have it. And that's James Bond's fundamental flaw.

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Steam is now running on the original Nintendo Switch, thanks to the latest

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Proton beta, which quietly added ARM64

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support ahead of the release of Valve's upcoming Steam Frame headset, which will

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run on an ARM processor. Blue Sky modder AA Gaming got the client booting on a

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jailbroken Switch running Ubuntu using a translation layer called FEX to burn X86

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instructions into something ARM can actually use. Now, there's only one

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small catch. Games don't actually run on the Switch yet. Turns out a 2015 NVIDIA

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chip running Linux performs about as well as you'd expect. A humanoid robot

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named Lightning just smoked the half-marathon world record in Beijing.

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Kachow! Clocking 50 minutes and 26

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seconds, nearly 7 minutes faster than Ugandan runner Jacob Kiplimo's record

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from last month. Honor's fleet of man-shaped machines actually swept the

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top six spots using a liquid cooling solution adapted from phones. Meanwhile,

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a rival bot had to be physically restrained after mid-race it suddenly

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realized the horror of its own existence. It just couldn't take it. And

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Prego, the pasta sauce brand, has made a

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dinner conversation recording device called the Connection Keeper. The

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puck-shaped mic records your family's conversations for 20 bucks, and

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surprisingly, has no Wi-Fi, no Bluetooth, and no cloud connection.

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Instead, through Prego's partnership with StoryCorps, the folks who archive

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voices at the Library of Congress, you can optionally upload your conversations

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to said archive. Because why wouldn't you? You got to archive that rigatoni

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recipe you told Mark about last night. That's a keeper.

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Just like I'll make you rigatoni if you come back on Wednesday for more tech

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news. That is not a promise, though.

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Somebody else wrote that line. Dude, I think I just did a whole tech news show.

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Ah, dude, did you remember to hit record? Someone check the tape, man.

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See you later. >> [laughter]