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All rise, the honorable court of tech news is now in session. Today's docket

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is full and the defendant is the entire tech industry. May God have mercy on

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your bleeps and bloops, you computer goblins. OpenAI is killing Sora, its

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slop video generating TikTok clone, less than 6 months after launch. Users will

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lose access to video generation via the mobile app, website, the API, and even

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in ChatGPT itself. According to the Wall Street Journal, it's part of a strategic

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pivot to productivity tools with OpenAI merging ChatGPT, Codex, and its Atlas

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browser into one desktop super app,

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which is likely corpo speak for C Dads 2.0 is eating our lunch and Sammy boy

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doesn't want to look like a dingus. Hey, you're actually a dingus either

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way. Sora's downloads had already plunged from 3.3 million in November to

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just 1.1 million by February, generating

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a grand total of 2.14 million dollars in

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revenue. The announcement apparently prompted Disney to pull out of its

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planned 1 billion dollar OpenAI investment, which was part of a deal

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which would have seen over 200 Disney characters licensed for use in the Sora

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app, which has, again, departed for the

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great slop bucket in the sky. Disney, who was reportedly blindsided by the

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announcement, released a statement with all of the energy of a recent divorcee,

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saying that they respect OpenAI's decision to exit the video generation

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business and to shift its priorities elsewhere. A confidential source told

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Reuters that it was a big rug pull, saying Disney wasn't informed of the

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move beforehand despite the fact that they had been in a meeting with the

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OpenAI team just 30 minutes before. Oof.

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Disney has said they plan on pursuing similar deals with other AI companies.

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That's right, girl. You were too good for him anyways. Uh, play Brit- play

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Britney Spears' Toxic, quick. I remember that. We can't we can't. A

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pair of landmark social media rulings were handed down this week that could

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set legal precedents. The first one dropped yesterday when a New Mexico jury

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ordered Meta to pay 375 million US dollars after finding the company misled

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parents about the safety of Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp. The second one

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dropped just this morning when an LA jury found Meta and YouTube negligent

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for harming kids through addictive platform design, awarding the plaintiff

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3 million dollars in damages. During the New Mexico trial, Zuckerberg, seen in

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these courtroom drawings looking like an elderly boy, and in this footage of him

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exiting the courtroom looking like a haunted puppet. This is important

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details. Attempted to refute the evidence by stating that harms to

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children were inevitable on his platforms due to their massive user

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bases. Yikes, dude. I guess his PR team

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forgot to explicitly tell him that real humans don't love it when you refer to

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harming children as an inevitability. Meta has already stated their plans to

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appeal both cases saying they work hard

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to keep people safe on our platforms. Aw, boo-hoo. I'm so sorry your 17 strike

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safety policy didn't cut it. These rulings are seen as so significant

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because they reject the common Section 230 defense, which has historically

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shielded tech companies from liability over user-generated content. As it

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stands, neither of the cases is totally over with the LA jury deliberating on

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punitive damages and the New Mexico case moving to a second trial in May where a

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judge will rule on public nuisance claims, equating social platforms with

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the weird guy who hangs out in the public square. These two cases are

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bellwethers for a glut of similar cases waiting in the wings. So, the bleeding

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isn't over for old Zuckercorn. It's my new favorite nickname for him. But I

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guess with such a massive user base, you can say it was kind of

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inevitable. So how does that feel? ARM, the company

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that spent 35 years licensing chip designs to basically everyone, just

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announced that it's making its own physical chip for the first time. That's

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right, it's our turn now. The Switzerland of chips declared war, and

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to the front lines they brought the ARM Neoverse V1 CPU. It's a 3-nanometer data

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center chip with 136 cores and a 300-watt TDP. Low enough to be

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air-cooled. Huh? We're air-cooling in here. It packs 12 channels of DDR5,

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which is great for ARM and painful for me, since I still can't find RAM for my

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second channel. But happy for you though. Meta actually co-developed the

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chip with ARM, and they're its lead customer, and will be pairing the chip

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with their own custom accelerators to melt kids' brains faster than ever

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before. ARM claims that a single air-cooled rack fits over 8,000 cores

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with twice the performance per rack compared to x86. A potentially 10

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billion dollars saved per gigawatt of data center. And that's all cool and

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like, you know, we're all very happy for ARM, but why are they starting to

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compete with their own customers? Considering Apple, Amazon, Google,

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Microsoft, and NVIDIA already design their own ARM-based chips. Well, when

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asked if NVIDIA might find this move concerning, CEO Rene Haas replied, "Does

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it piss off NVIDIA? I'd imagine it will piss off Intel and AMD more." Piss

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off everybody. Got it. Good strategy. Hey, he could be frustrated from trying

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The court will now hear five minor charges. The quick bits, uh they have

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been sworn in and I must warn you they are hostile witnesses.

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What is this? Is this I've never been in a court. Intel just launched the Arc Pro

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B70, which is the first card using Big Battlemage, aka the full fat BMGG31 GPU.

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The B70 comes with 32GB of GDDR6 for

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only 950 bucks, with a cheaper Arc Pro B65, also with 32GB of VRAM, set for an

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April launch. Intel finally built the big GPU that could be great for gaming

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and it's of course a workstation AI card. Aw.

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Well, but considering NVIDIA's RTX 4000

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Pro with only 24 gigs of memory is priced around 1900 USD, nearly double

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the B70, these cards are a good deal, I

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mean, as far as RAM goes. I guess the only thing Intel is battling right now

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is their refusal to let us play games on their best silicon. And they're battling

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a few other things, but Wine 11 has rewritten how Linux runs Windows games

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at the kernel level with a new feature called NT Sync and the performance gains

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are reportedly stupid good. According to Wine contributor and people who do a lot

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of other things, too, CodeWeavers, we're talking 110 FPS to 860 in Dirt 3.

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Resident Evil 2 jumped from 26 to 77.

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And unlike the old Fsync/Esync workarounds, NTsync is baked into the

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mainline Linux kernel starting at version 6.14, so any distro shipping

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that kernel gets it automatically. Reddit users are already confirming the

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gains are legit. I don't know. It might be time for Microsoft to adopt a new

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marketing slogan. Windows 11, the best way to download the OS that runs our

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games better. AyaNeo has suspended pre-orders for its AMD Strix

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Halo-powered next two Windows gaming handheld claiming that production costs

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now approach twice the selling price, which already started at 2,000 bucks.

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AyaNeo had to make the call after storage and RAM suppliers quoted prices

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several times higher than before, which was obviously caused by AI data centers

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going all hungry, hungry hippos on the global memory supply. Those scamps.

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AyaNeo says the suspension is temporary and they may consider resuming sales if

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the prices come back down. But it turns out next two is the amount of decades

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left until you can afford RAM, I guess. The FCC just banned all new models of

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foreign-made consumer routers from US sales citing national security risks

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related to the Volt Typhoon and Salt Typhoon cyberattacks. Small problem,

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though. Virtually every consumer router sold in the US is made overseas. Even

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American brands like Netgear are built in Vietnam and Taiwan. Existing models

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can still be sold, but new models will need conditional approval from the DoD

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or DHS. And all this makes a ton of sense because the Typhoon hacks were

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largely carried out on American-made Cisco enterprise equipment, not consumer

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routers. But that's the way they like it. Made in America, hacked in America.

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At least they're keeping jobs domestic. And an undergrad at Centenary College of

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Louisiana has developed a nail polish that lets people with long fingernails

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actually use touch screens. Despite giving themselves a leg down in that

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area seemingly on purpose, the new clear coat uses a blend of taurine and a

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stinky compound called ethanolamine

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ethanolamine to give nails a small electric charge. I'm a little more

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scared now than I was before, which could also help people with zombie

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finger, a condition I just learned about that causes fingers to not register on

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touch screens. It's in moments like this that I wonder, has science gone too far?

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Are we like Icarus flying on wings of wax too close to the sun? For what? To

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fulfill the hubris of our fathers, Daedaluses, seeking only to serve their

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own egos? Is there no rest or respite? No moment where we say we have come far

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enough and turn back from the precipice of innovation?

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Or will we be forever pushed out beyond the edges of the map by those behind us

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clamoring to see territory still unclaimed?

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For here be monsters, my friends. And I

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fear that those monsters are us.

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And court is adjourned. The tech industry has been found guilty on all

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counts and sentenced to being discussed

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again on Friday. Uh the defendant showed no remorse.

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Never does.
