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It's day two of TechLink's CES coverage, but it's actually like day negative one for CES because the show technically starts on January 5th, which is Thursday, at which point everyone is already kind of sick of CES.

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Welcome to the pre-show, baby! Hey! You got exclusive backstage access.

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NVIDIA started day negative one off with a bang, or several bangs.

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The first bang is RTX 40 series GPUs for laptops with top-end RTX 4090 and 4080 equipped models starting at $2,000 and launching February 8th.

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Ooh, someone called Ricky Martin! With the lower-end models coming by February 22nd starting at $1,000.

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You might say that's expensive before you hear that they have tri-speed memory, which you didn't even know you wanted.

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NVIDIA also said they're bringing GeForce Now support to some cars made by Hyundai, Polestar and BYD, which is a brand.

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They're a Chinese brand? Yeah. So the cloud gaming service's new RTX 4080 Super Pods can deliver ray traced gameplay at 240 frames per second to trust fun kids in the backseat.

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These are expensive cars. Well, the lovely what?

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Hyundai. Hyundai. Hyundai.

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I'm anglicizing it. And last but not least, NVIDIA's officially un-un-launching the RTX 4080 12 Gigabyte as the RTX 4070 Ti on Thursday.

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And they're even dropping the price by $100 to $800.

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They didn't have to do that. Nice. Of course, NVIDIA hasn't shown a founders edition model, meaning they're probably all going to be partner made cards priced well above $800.

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As a cherry on top, NVIDIA claimed the 4070 Ti performs up to three times faster than the 3090 Ti and backed it up with one of their beloved graphs showing that's maybe true for one game because DLSS3 doesn't work on the 30 series.

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But pointing that out isn't in the spirit of CES. It's all about making big claims and then distracting the audience with the next thing, which we shall now do right now.

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Intel unveiled 16 more 13th gen desktop processors, meaning the lineup now includes 23 SKUs ranging from the Core i3-13100T, a little baby guy, to the Core i9-13900KS.

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That's the... That's the Charizard of the lineup.

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That's the baby lab. I was going to use a more modern Pokemon, but I don't...

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Typhlosion? That's more modern. Typhlosion.

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The lineup now has low power T models, graphics less F models, and deep fried KFC models.

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I didn't have to do that one. I didn't have to. I don't...

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I wish I didn't. Team Blue also thought it was time to let the 13th gen laptop CPUs out of the bag with nine new chips featuring 10 to 24 cores, including the Core i9-13980X, the world's fastest mobile processor until AMD says the same thing about one of theirs.

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But more exciting than that was the announcement that Intel's XCSS upscaling feature would work on integrated graphics, enabling up to a 30% performance boost.

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So, hmm, I guess it's okay that Intel quietly raised the listed prices of its 12th gen processors on its Arc Online database, meaning that the announced prices for the new 13th gen models are actually lower than their predecessors,

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meaning that Intel most likely planned to do things this way so the new chips don't look as bad.

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Were previous CES announcements this shady? I know it's Vegas.

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Or someone Linus the box of 12th gen chips.

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They just dropped it? They just dropped them all. And Dell didn't have a big keynote today, but they had to get on on the hype by announcing what might be the world's first publicly available 500Hz IPS gaming monitor, depending on what ASUS has to say about their previously announced but not launched 540Hz display.

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At CES, you gotta wait for your cue or they'll use the big hook to take you off like in the olden times.

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Dell's subsidiary Alienware also announced a slew of laptops with upgraded internals and exterior design.

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The G series in particular were described by our new TechLinked writer as, what would you say?

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Outrun aesthetic? No, you said it was cute. Oh, okay, that too.

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And there was also an update to Alienware's concept NICS edge computing system announced two years ago, which involves everybody in a house gaming or computing with edge devices connected to a central PC.

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The new controller design has a fingerprint reader and other options for personalization, and they even threw in a Steam controller style touchpad.

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It hasn't gained traction yet because people just don't understand it.

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It just needs to be given a chance. If I call this section quick biscuits, do you think LMG could hire someone to bring me mid-episode snacks?

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I think you can use the south end Buk. They both have biscuits.

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Acer announced some products that embrace the spirit of weird CES a bit more.

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There's a new Predator Helios laptop with a 250 Hertz mini LED screen, kind of unusual.

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It's cool. The Acer Halo Swing is a smart speaker equipped with Google Assistant, RGB lighting at the base, an understated LED array on the front, and a handle for portability.

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A handle? What is it? It's weird.

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What is this, 2018? And best of all, the E-Connect, a desk with an integrated stationary bike that generates power to recharge your laptop and phone.

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That's what I'm talking about. It's weird.

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Save the planet and your mind because now you're thinking about this and not how sleazy NVIDIA and Intel are.

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Apple doesn't usually show up at CES, but this year, leaks about the company's long in-development mixed reality headset did.

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A report from the information claims the device will have a waste-mounted battery, a la the magic leap.

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A 120-degree field of view like the Valve Index, that's more than the 106-degrees FOV on the MetaQuest Pro.

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And a digital crown, like the Apple Watch, that users will be able to use to switch between the physical and virtual world, which will definitely not be called a metaverse.

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They said they wouldn't. If you look in the mirror, you're wearing a crown and you're wearing the headset.

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Because you're the king of this metaverse, baby.

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I hope it also has like a siren like the Apple Watch Ultra for if you get lost.

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What server am I on? In other Apple news, the company has raised the price of replacing an out-of-warranty iPhone battery for the iPhone 13 lineup and older by $20.

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Now, this is interesting in the following context.

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In 2018, when it was discovered that Apple was throttling the speed of older iPhones as their battery degrades, Apple dropped the cost of battery replacements to just 30 bucks.

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But by 2019, they bumped it up to 70 bucks.

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And now they're bumping it up again. Why?

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Inflation? Money! I think it's money.

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Google has announced Jigsaw, a free software tool that smaller websites can use to identify and remove terrorist material.

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So of course it makes sense to name it after a fictional serial killer.

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Many have expressed concerns about AI-powered moderation tools.

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So hopefully normal people don't get caught in the crossfire and the tool blocks only actual terrorists like people who threaten to kill their coworkers over putting up a Christmas tree too early.

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James isn't here, but that is... we're throwing shade at him.

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That's a valid shot. And let's end with a weirder yet cool CES product, the AWOL Vision Vanish.

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It's a short throw laser projector that also packs speakers and even a retractable self-standing screen into a single cabinet for $16,000.

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Now hold on, that's for the 120-inch version.

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Oh. So if you're still waiting on this month's pay, you can settle for the 100-inch model at $15,000.

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It's not, you know, they understand where you're at. It's steel.

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Oh, it's my wallet. I can't wait to see what other insane products force themselves into my consciousness this week.

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So come back tomorrow to see how I'm holding up mental health-wise.
