WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.480 In the future, when humanity travels via mass relay, 00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:08.720 tech news will be provided through a digestible data-bearing sludge. 00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:11.760 For now though, I'll just give it to you normally, from my mouth. 00:00:11.760 --> 00:00:18.080 Apple and Google are close to finalizing a deal in which Apple would pay about $1 billion per year 00:00:18.080 --> 00:00:22.640 for the use of Google's AI technology to power their Siri voice assistant. 00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:28.160 Bloomberg's Mark Gurmey bears reports that Apple is finalizing plans to commission from Google 00:00:28.240 --> 00:00:34.000 a custom Gemini model to help overhaul Siri's summarizer and planner features. 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:37.200 However, this planned reliance on Google is only temporary, 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:43.040 as Gurmey reports that the company is currently building its own flagship AI model, 00:00:43.040 --> 00:00:46.640 which it aims to make available for consumer use as soon as next year. 00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:49.920 And of course, this isn't the only deal between the two companies. 00:00:49.920 --> 00:00:53.760 Google currently pays Apple $20 billion a year 00:00:53.760 --> 00:01:00.800 for search to be the default option on Safari. And under this supposed deal, Apple would pay $1 billion of that back to Google 00:01:00.800 --> 00:01:04.320 to continue pretending that they've made Siri any better. 00:01:04.320 --> 00:01:08.000 Siri will never change, it got better one time, and that's it. 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:13.360 Tesla shareholders have approved Elon Musk's $1 trillion pay package. 00:01:13.360 --> 00:01:18.480 Now it's complicated, but the gist is that shareholders okay to plan to give Elon's stock 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:24.480 worth up to $1 trillion over the next decade, providing he hits a number of milestones, 00:01:24.480 --> 00:01:27.600 which include 20 million Tesla vehicles delivered, 00:01:27.600 --> 00:01:31.200 10 million active full self-driving subscriptions sold, 00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:35.360 1 million Optimus robots delivered, good luck on that, 00:01:35.360 --> 00:01:38.640 and 1 million robo-taxis in commercial operation. 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:43.920 That still, that also seems like a lot. Musk seems to be getting right to work on that last milestone though, 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:49.840 claiming that the CyberCab vehicle Tesla announced a year ago will begin production in April. 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:55.280 Now that might not necessarily mean much considering Tesla's grand tradition of saying 00:01:55.280 --> 00:01:58.560 things will happen that then do not. 00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:02.960 Following that tradition, Tesla just announced they've delayed the reveal of the production 00:02:02.960 --> 00:02:10.000 Roadster 2 to April Fool's Day 2026, nearly nine years after the project was first revealed. 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:15.600 It's gotta be a prank. And it's hard to tell if Elon was pranking us or trying to get those 1 million bot sales 00:02:15.600 --> 00:02:20.320 when he also said that in the future, prisoners shouldn't go to jail, 00:02:20.320 --> 00:02:25.360 but instead have a robot follow them around to make sure they're behaving themselves. 00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:30.960 Kind of like Navi in Ocarina of Time, except this Navi stopped you from doing crime. 00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:34.240 I like this robot a lot more than my probation officer. 00:02:34.240 --> 00:02:41.920 Hey! Listen, f***er! Twitter has started preloading links and media from posts across the platform, 00:02:41.920 --> 00:02:46.880 creating what some are describing as ghost traffic to external sites. 00:02:46.880 --> 00:02:51.280 And developers noticed the change after seeing spikes in referral data from Twitter 00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:57.120 to platforms like Substack and Blue Sky, even when users never actually clicked on the links. 00:02:57.120 --> 00:03:00.720 According to the company, this behavior is actually intentional. 00:03:00.720 --> 00:03:04.320 When you tap a link, Twitter now collapses the original post, 00:03:04.320 --> 00:03:10.400 letting you still like, reply, repost, and bookmark while viewing the linked webpage underneath. 00:03:11.200 --> 00:03:18.800 You can do it all. So powerful. The idea is, apparently, to keep users engaged without leaving the timeline. 00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:22.160 Because, God forbid, you spend five seconds on another site. 00:03:22.720 --> 00:03:29.440 This is the everything app. Why would you need to? Critics argue it's just another way for the company to inflate engagement numbers 00:03:29.440 --> 00:03:35.120 and muddy everyone else's analytics with some advertisers already reporting suspicious traffic 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:40.000 surges. Elon Musk's Twitter has gone from suppressing links to Substack and Blue Sky, 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:44.240 which they viewed as competitors, to loading them whether you like it or not. 00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:50.960 The internet's a wild ride, baby. One thing to know, the QuickBits love soup, but you're not going to catch them eating sludge. 00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:55.520 They love Zupa Ogorkowa, Polish pickle soup. 00:03:55.520 --> 00:04:00.080 Is anyone, are you Polish? Can we, do we have any idea how to say, huh? 00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:06.080 Are you Polish? Sure. Grand Theft Auto 6 has been delayed once again. 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:14.560 Aaaaaaah! I'm so frustrated. With Rockstar confirming the launch is moving from May to November of 2026. 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:18.960 A moment of silence for everyone. Really upset about this. 00:04:18.960 --> 00:04:24.080 This new delay follows reports that some recently fired employees leaked internal 00:04:24.080 --> 00:04:28.640 information about the company on Discord, though it's unclear if that actually had 00:04:28.640 --> 00:04:32.960 anything to do with this at all. Guess we'll just have to take two number nines and number 00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:36.480 nine large and number six with extra dip and number seven, two number 45s, 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:40.800 one with a cheese and a large soda while we wait. What is he talking about? Look at him. 00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:46.160 Meta is the subject of a Reuters investigation that claims the company earns billions from 00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:52.160 posts advertising scams with internal documents reportedly showing Meta just really struggling 00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:57.040 with the decision of whether to forfeit all the revenue they're getting from these scammy ads 00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:02.400 by removing them or pay the fines if they keep them up. 00:05:02.400 --> 00:05:06.080 Aaaaaaah! It's less about what's the right thing to do and what's the money, 00:05:06.080 --> 00:05:13.920 what's the more money thing to do? Some higher value accounts even racked up hundreds of violations before being shut down, 00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:18.400 leading to them creating an internal list of the scamiest scammers. 00:05:18.400 --> 00:05:22.560 Real creative guys, what's next? A roundup of the most smiling-smilers? 00:05:27.200 --> 00:05:30.000 Nice one. 00:05:31.280 --> 00:05:37.440 Hyundai's IT Services subsidiary has revealed it was hit by a cyber attack between February 22nd 00:05:37.440 --> 00:05:44.240 and March 2nd of this year during which hackers stole names, social security numbers, and driver's 00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:50.720 licenses of up to 2.7 million owners of Hyundai and Kia vehicles. The company says it's brought in 00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:55.680 forensic experts, notified law enforcement, and is offering two years of free credit monitoring 00:05:55.680 --> 00:06:01.360 to those impacted, which makes everything better. My wife told me I didn't need that Hyundai Santa Fe, 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:05.840 but my love of New Mexico got the better of me. Damn you, Breaking Bad! 00:06:05.840 --> 00:06:07.600 Mind when you threw that pizza on the roof? 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:11.200 I haven't seen the show. Oh, s**t. 00:06:13.280 --> 00:06:19.040 And Tinder is testing a new AI-powered feature called chemistry that, with your permission, 00:06:19.040 --> 00:06:24.640 at least, scans your camera roll and asks you questions to learn your interests and personality 00:06:24.640 --> 00:06:32.720 in order to get you better matches. The feature is live in Australia and New Zealand and is slated to roll out more broadly in 2026. 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:36.960 Hey! You've both got pictures of dogs! Go for a dog walk! 00:06:36.960 --> 00:06:40.160 You've both got a million pictures of food! Time for a dinner date! 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:47.520 You've both got a million nudes on your phone! Now I've got to get back in the kitchen to get some pictures of the tech news I'm prepping for 00:06:47.520 --> 00:06:51.440 Monday's feast. Because it's the tech news sludge. 00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:55.040 In the meantime, tell me about your favorite soup. 00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:58.800 Or your Mass Effect Love Interest. I don't want to hear that. 00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:05.360 You can- it's okay. Is it the soup or the Mass Effect Love Interest? 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:07.760 That's- it's fine. See you Monday.