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Oh, thank god you're here. I've been absorbing tech news all day and my head is starting to feel like a balloon

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filled with concrete. But now I can let it all out.

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Come share in my pain. Google is reportedly considering charging users for AI-powered searches once the tech

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giant presumably comes up with a better name than Search Generational Experience.

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It has to be good if it's gonna endure the year and a half before Google kills it.

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The report came from the Financial Times and Google has not denied that it entertained

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those thoughts, partially due to the rise of other AI-powered conversational search tools

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which make it a lot harder to plunk misleading sponsored links at the top of search results.

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Just how paywalling Google's AI search would stop users from turning to other AI tools

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that skim regular Google search results isn't clear.

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And neither is the answer to whether OpenAI used YouTube videos to train its wildly impressive

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video generator, Sora. YouTube CEO Neil Mohan says if they did, that would break YouTube's rules.

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A clarification it was necessary for him to make after OpenAI's CTO, Mira Muradi, told

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The Wall Street Journal she's actually not sure about whether Sora was trained on YouTube

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videos but not before taking a full three seconds to gift the internet with a new reaction

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for all the AI Zoomers. In other AI news, courtesy of the King of Apple Rumor Dispersion, Mark Gurman...

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Now that Apple's accepted that the Apple Car isn't happening, it's begun research

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on an AI-powered home robot that could follow its user around their home so Tim Cook can

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see what you're up to. Oh, you're going to make a cup of tea now, that's...

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Oh, no, it's coffee, I love that.

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Such an AI robot, which I think legally could not be its name, may benefit from Apple's

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recent extensive research into optimizing language models to run on low-powered hardware

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like iPhones. I don't have a transition into this last AI story, but guess what, Waymo Autonomous

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Cars are now delivering food to Uber Eats customers in Phoenix, Arizona because AI is

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supposed to have taken all our jobs by now, we gotta speed this up.

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Windows is being ditched in favor of Linux by Schleswig Horstein, one of Germany's

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16 states and probably the name of a bottled drink you can't afford.

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The state government's approximately 30,000 employees will be joining the Linux Legion

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and replacing their use of various other Microsoft services like SharePoint and Outlook with

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open source options like NextCloud and Mozilla Thunderbird.

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Ascend my children, join me.

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The state already announced plans to switch from Microsoft Office to Libra Office back

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in 2021 and it looks like their resolve has only been strengthened since, probably thanks

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to Microsoft Edge continuing to act like the browser version of Legend of Zelda's Navi

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with ADHD. Hey! Hey!

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This isn't the first time a German region has tried to quit Microsoft though, the city

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of Munich switched to Linux back in 2003, but eventually came crawling back in 2017.

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Open source software has come a long way though, so to the state government employees of Schleswig

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Horstein, allowing us to say this to you, viel Glück!

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Microsoft announced a breakthrough in quantum computing error correction that could, crucially,

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allow quantum computers to actually be used to compute things instead of what they're

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used for now, which is generating esoteric press releases.

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By pairing Microsoft's new Qubit virtualization system with IonTrap hardware, made by a company

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called Quantinuum, I'm assuming as a joke, researchers from the two companies were able

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to run more than 14,000 individual experiments without a single error.

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And they even diagnosed and corrected logical Qubits without destroying them, a development

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that gave Microsoft's VP of quantum computing goosebumps, and I think gave me a second

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headache. I mean, it does sound kind of dope though. It sounds great.

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In all seriousness though, as far as my puny mind can tell, this is a big step forward

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for this technology, and Jacob says it is too, so he knows about space.

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I mean, I only studied, I studied astrophysics. It's such a big step that Microsoft is announcing the industry is now moving from level one

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foundational to level two resilient quantum computing, a proclamation that for me kind

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of skirts the line between the George Bush Mission Accomplished banner and Google declaring

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quantum supremacy back in 2019, like the tech giant version of Michael Scott.

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What are Qubits for the answer?

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Look deep inside your mind, whoop, not that deep, that's, oh, oh god.

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Roku, the Portland main of smart TV makers.

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Apparently wants to become the bond villain of smart TV makers by showing ads on the company's

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TVs, even when you're just using it to play Xbox or PS5.

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Roku filed a patent for a system that would allow Roku TVs to detect when a device connected

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to it via HDMI has paused, at which point the TV can display an ad.

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I mean, you're not using it, you might as well. The patent also explores ways to determine what content you are interacting with, of

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course, so they can display more relevant ads. It's not just evil, it's boring evil.

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This is why Amazon and Google are beating you. You could be evil, but like be interesting, you know, that's all I'm saying.

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YouTube is experimenting with a new feature called Jump Ahead among a limited group of

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YouTube premium subscribers. They say the feature will skip right to what its algorithm thinks you're looking for based

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on a user's behavioral data. They also said AI a whole bunch, which has got to be a compulsion of some kind.

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How it works is that after a user double taps on mobile to skip forward 10 seconds, they'll

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be given a button that lets them jump ahead to whatever the computer thinks is the next

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best moment for you, which is probably when Riley Murdock whips out his Tim Cook impression.

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Haha, he is so funny, that Riley. Jessica, you really think I'm funny?

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No. Sony has announced a new medium format image sensor with a whopping 247 megapixels in a

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package approximately the same size as the 150 megapixel sensor in Hasselblad's H6D

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series cameras. Break that down for me, right, dog? That's exciting, isn't it, Andy?

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And while it's true that photographers and videographers are so over the megapixel race,

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it's unquestionably noteworthy that a medium format sensor could produce an image with

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a resolution of 19,200 by 12,800 pixels.

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19K by 12, you just bought an 8K TV, you look so stupid right now.

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To be fair, according to Sony's website, this sensor is for industrial use in visual

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inspection devices, but such sensors have found their way into consumer cameras before,

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so this was definitely worth telling you about. A San Diego startup has designed a new chip architecture that can run CPU, GPU, and AI

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workloads simultaneously on the same cores.

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Startup Xsilicon Inc. hopes their CGPU platform will be heavily adopted in segments with strict

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power to performance ratios like the automotive and embedded computing markets.

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The startup's work joins the likes of Libre SoC, an open source project that apparently

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had its funding pulled in February.

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Hopefully Xsilicon won't have that issue, since they're making CGPU open standard.

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It's like open source, except that it's very different and you get to make money.

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And Nothing, the tech company, has announced two upcoming Nothing Earbuds on the Nothing

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website by which I mean Twitter. Haha.

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Haha. However, it seems that following the Nothing Ear 2, they've decided to go the Valve route

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and give up on trying to count any higher. They've thus announced the Nothing Ear and the lower end Nothing Ear Open Bracket Lower

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Case A Closed Bracket. Alright. Haha.

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According to Nothing, they've removed the numbers in order to focus on the product and

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the unique experience it delivers, which is a bit like admitting you can't walk and

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chew gum at the same time. It's hard. But I can thank you for watching at the same time as I tell you to come back on Monday for

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more tech news. It's not actually true, because I did that sequentially, but...

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Yeah! Come back!