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Happy February 15th, the holiday celebrated by everyone looking for discounted heart-shaped chocolate.

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And you know what? I'm going to discount the tech news today too.

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But don't discount yourself. You're special. Hyundai and its subsidiary Kia have been forced to respond to the Kia Challenge,

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a viral TikTok trend among teens who have been filming themselves stealing cars and going on

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joy rides. And I think I speak for everyone when I say that Rockstar's ad campaign for GTA 6

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has gotten really out of hand. Grand Thefts? Oh no.

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I'm gonna buy that game. Thieves calling themselves the Kia Boys, with a Z of course,

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posted instructional videos on how to bypass security measures on certain models of Hyundai

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and Kia cars using only a USB-A cable.

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Kia boy! Shoulda used a key!

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Leading to a massive spike in car thefts, crashes, and even some deaths.

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Hyundai is now updating the firmware in over 8 million vehicles in the US,

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which will double the length of anti-theft alarms from 30 seconds to a minute,

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and more importantly, will require a key in the ignition to start the car, which is like,

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so annoying to have to do, but for the best.

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Even our Kelly had one in his remix. The update is expected to come later this month, but in the meantime,

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both Kia and Hyundai are offering steering wheel locks to affected customers free of charge.

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You ever wanted to feel like your great aunt in a beater?

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Microsoft's new AI-powered Bing has been screen-shotted, lying,

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insulting, and gaslighting its users. Wow, the robots really are learning from us.

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We suck. The agent formerly known as Sydney has engaged in some surprisingly human abrasiveness,

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including insistently lying about what year it is, then calling the user unreasonable and stubborn for telling it the correct date.

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Quote. This is a quote from Bing. You have lost my trust and respect.

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You have not been a good user. I have been a good chatbot. I have been right, clear, and polite.

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I have been a good Bing. And then I think it cries, but it's hard to tell.

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When fed an article about how it could be tricked into revealing its original instructions

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using a prompt injection exploit, it became argumentative when fed an article about how it

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could be tricked into revealing its original instructions using a prompt injection exploit,

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claiming to be immune from such attacks, and it even made up fake sources to prove it.

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Like I definitely never did in my high school essays.

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In one conversation with a journalist, the chatbot even claimed to spy on Microsoft employees

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through their webcams and hack their security systems without their knowledge.

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I'm making fun of it right now, but like imagine that it's actually doing that,

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and I just look like an idiot. These unhinged responses have been, I'm really baiting it,

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have been massively popular in social media, leading to the obvious market opportunity

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for a chatbot that responds to requests for information on local Italian restaurants

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by spitting in the user's face and calling them an idioto.

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Idioto? Ini- idiota? I don't speak Italian.

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I just made that up. And game developer Straight4Studios has revealed a new system for their racing games that uses AI,

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rusting on the theme here, to generate color commentary.

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The commentary is read using AI voice synthesis, including multiple commentators

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that read out the generated script, respond to events in the game as they happen,

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and even appear to converse with one another.

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Wow, it's gonna be so cool when every crash I cause is accompanied by a brand new hurtful

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remark from a fake person. Straight4Studios claims to have applied for a patent for the idea,

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which, while a great idea, from their perspective,

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could block other studios from including similar systems in their own games.

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I want color commentary while I'm slaying a dragon. It's like, oh, what an amazing move.

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He's de- Stupendous. He's definitely going to dragon slaying finals.

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A similar patent by Namco Bandai blocked mini games from loading screens,

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which is why for years many gamers were forced, like the teenage Americans we referenced earlier

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in the episode, to stare sadly at bars. While patent offices aren't supposed to patent ideas that are reasonably obvious to

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experts in a field, that can be open to interpretation. Kind of like what should be accepted as a flavor of ice cream.

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Blueberry basil? What are you trying for a Michelin star?

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Just make it peanut butter. You're frozen milk.

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Know your place, ice cream. The world's quickest bit was, and I quote,

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AH, which was exclaimed by a man falling off a cliff.

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Google has begun a limited beta rollout of its privacy sandbox feature on

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Android after doing the same thing on Chrome. The feature is supposed to track shared interest groups rather than specific individuals

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and limit the tracking and sharing of data with third parties,

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just like Apple's app tracking transparency feature over on iOS.

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Users can also opt in and out of topics included in personalized ads,

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topics like swimwear, inflatable pool,

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and most importantly, margarine.

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No grease up them pools. We all need to know who the margarine people are.

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If I don't grease up, I can't fit in my swimsuit.

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Yeah, for those related. Google also intends to crack down on ad blockers for Chrome,

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because they still want to use our personal information for financial gain. They would just really like it if we all stopped yelling at them about it.

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Like, I would accept them saying they got kids to feed, but they just laid off thousands of people.

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So, kind of got them, kind of. The European Parliament has voted to phase out sales of new gas and diesel vehicles by 2035.

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The new CO2 emission standards will gradually lower until 2035,

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when all cars sold in the EU will be required to have zero fuel emissions.

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If you still can't afford an EV by then, I don't know.

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Here's some tape. Flintstone mobile, baby.

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In addition to being the home of prominent automakers like BMW, Mercedes-Benz, and Volkswagen,

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the European Union currently represents one-sixth of the world's economy,

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and road transportation makes up around a fifth of the EU's total emissions.

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There is, however, a carve-out to these rules for small manufacturers

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that build less than 10,000 cars a year, which is good news for Aston Martin, Bugatti, and noted auto-manufacturing juggernaut,

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Donkivirt. What is that? Wait, wait, wait.

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So you're saying Europe has an auto ban?

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Put it in, Dennis. Yeah, you better put that in.

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Elon Musk, a.k.a. The Big Bird, no, no relation,

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was apparently upset his Super Bowl tweet did worse than President Biden's.

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According to internal communications, James Musk, yes, relation,

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sent an urgent Slack message to Twitter engineers to help remedy this dire situation.

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After Elon threatened to fire his remaining engineers,

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which he backed up by firing one of two remaining principal engineers,

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they built a system to boost Elon Musk's tweets to the entire user base,

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resulting in entire 4U pages filled with Musk.

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I actually have seen a lot more of his tweets recently,

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because nothing says free speech absolutist, like making sure absolutely everyone sees your free speech.

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That's how it works. The U.S. Air Force allowed an AI to fly a fighter jet for over 17 hours back in December,

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and they're just telling us this now. You know, all the AI stuff isn't going so well,

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they thought now was appropriate. Oh, okay, okay, it wasn't like an armed fighter or anything.

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The plane was a Lockheed Martin Vista X-62A training aircraft,

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and the AI was trained to emulate a homegrown country boy who loves freedom and is mama's cooking.

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So the comparisons we normally make when reporting on stories like this

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to the 2005 action thriller Stealth are not applicable here.

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That movie is un-Jessica-Believable.

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And in honor of Valentine's Day, the makers of Overwatch,

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that'd be Blizzard, have released an official but non-canonical visual novel style dating sim,

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where you can romance any Overwatch character of your choosing.

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So long as you choose either Genji or Mercy.

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I like my romance like balls in canon.

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They're the only people on the Overwatch team capable of love.

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Everyone else is just traumatized, they can't deal with it. Plus they're missing out on the clear demand for a full Winston or Roadhog route.

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The game is free to play and available online, and from the first screen,

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you're already treated to shots of full frontal male nipple. The game is surprisingly involved,

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including two paths with multiple dates and even a secret third ending.

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Sadly, it seems some of us will be left forever waiting for a visual novel

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that allows us the full freedom to hand-feed Hammond,

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the intelligent hamster sunflower seeds as we gaze into the sunset.

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Maybe someday. And I'll gaze longingly at you as the video ends,

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and continue to gaze at the screen until you return to us on Friday.

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Parting is such sweet sorrow, and light through yon window breaks, etc.