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Wow, wow, kinda rude, but it's okay, I can take it.

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Hey, Johnny Thunder here from Johnny's War Machine Emporium.

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If you're looking for a gently used fighting vehicle that's seen actual combat

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in War Thunder, the most comprehensive combat game ever made,

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come on down and join our 95 million satisfied customers

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from Rancho Cucamonga to Kalamazoo, we're talking choppers,

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whoppers, showstoppers, mom and poppers,

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ornithopters if they were real, not yet. Oh, oh, you want boats? How about goats?

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U.S.S. Alaska, Japanese Yamato, hiya,

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biggest battleship ever built. War Thunder might be free to play, but this ain't no game to me.

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Okay, this is my life. Now hey, hey, if you want silly little boxes filled with simple hit points,

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you can head right to Rusty Richards Lockdown the Road, okay,

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and he'd be happy to see ya. What I got here is premium, pre-owned instruments of death,

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meticulously detailed inside and out. Every bit of damage affects components, not a big green bar.

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Mom used to say, damage is as damage does.

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Everyone seems to forget that. See, when you get behind one of Johnny's French Jaguar A's,

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you're gonna be fully immersed. All right, these combat vehicles run on petrol, diesel,

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Xbox, PlayStation, PC, mobile, your mom, you name it.

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Use our link for extra vehicles, packs, and more, or don't.

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It'd be your loss anyway. See if I care.