Welcome to TechLink, your source of monthly updates on which tech giants are mad at each other.
Who stole Who's Boyfriend this week? More than 11, which is right now.
You want me to do it again? No. Go ahead.
Welcome to Tech... Nintendo has issued DMCA takedown requests to Microsoft subsidiary GitHub over software
tools used to emulate Nintendo's sovereign copyrighted games, which were simply not meant
to be played outside of their natural habitat, severely underpowered consoles.
One such tool is Lockpick, which allows users to dump decryption keys from their Switch
games so that they can be emulated on PC by thugs and ruffians.
Wrap scallions even. Gross. The gallows for you!
Nintendo fears for the integrity of the true experience of playing their games on the
Switch since emulating Switch games has the terrible side effect of making them playable.
The true experience is just watching your Pokemon glitch out of existence and then crash.
This takedown doesn't simply apply to the original posting to the software, but would
also affect anyone who FORT the GitHub repository, which is a way for people to copy a project
on GitHub so that they can experiment or iterate on it. Take for example Simon Arons on Twitter, who received a copy of Nintendo's DMCA request
when he made the Forking mistake. Some speculate that this is due to the tears of the kingdom leak, and Nintendo, I get it.
I know taking away the ability for users to get keys from games they legally paid for
and thus incentivizing those users to obtain keys illegally sounds like a solution to piracy,
but wait. If you carry the three, if you don't do that, I think we got it wrong.
According to leaks, Google is planning to make search more visual, snackable, personal,
and human, which I assumed meant they wanted to be the go-to search engine for cannibals.
Apparently what that extremely quotable corpuspeak actually means is that Google is aiming to
tackle search prompts that aren't answerable by their traditional farm-to-table search results.
According to leaked internal documents, the newly humbled Emperor of Search will be adding
short videos to its results because of how young people like to get their information.
An internal Google study suggested 40% of the youths use TikTok or Instagram when searching
for restaurants. As a result, not only will future searchers be asked follow-up questions by an AI chatbot,
but also may be prompted to swipe through visuals like TikToks or shorts.
Because when you're plumbing the depths of accumulated human knowledge on a topic, you
want to start with the thoughts of thousands of 14-year-olds with main character syndrome.
This man looked at me for five seconds in a gym and I felt attacked. Let me explain.
And then spends four minutes telling us nothing. Anyway, an Uber's ex-Chief security officer has been sentenced for covering up a 2016
hack. After receiving an email from hackers telling him they had the data of 50 million Uber customers
and 7 million drivers, then security chief Joseph Sullivan paid the attackers $100,000
under the condition of them signing an NDA to not disclose the hack to anyone.
For his crime of covering up the exposure of at least 57 million users' names and phone
numbers, he was issued a $50,000 fine and sentenced to three years of probation.
How was he supposed to do security from prison? Was he supposed to secure the prison?
Use your brain, guys. 50 current and former chief security officers from the likes of Netflix US and even the
US government sent a letter to the judge pleading for Sullivan not to go to prison.
They said their job requires nuanced judgment calls in a largely unregulated environment.
I mean, how was Sullivan supposed to know he was committing a crime?
He's not a federal prosecutor anymore. It's been years.
Yeah, and it's not like he was regarded as a security expert in Silicon Valley anymore
because he was charged with his crime, but you know, before he was, I wanted to do more
main stories, but all I have are these stupid quick bits. Stupid.
Mom! Go to my room.
Twitter has admitted private circle tweets have been viewable by everyone on Twitter,
merely most of a month after the issue was discovered by users.
Circle tweets are supposed to only be viewable by other members of the circle, yet circle
users have been getting likes and views from outsiders.
I didn't want everyone on Twitter to know how much I love the TV series Monk starring
Tony Shalhoub, Elon, Bridge, a company that made popular iPad accessories, has gone kaput.
They actually released a trackpad keyboard for iPad Pro months before Apple released
the official Magic Keyboard and added native trackpad support to iPadOS, but Apple reserved
trackpad gestures for first party accessories and also Logitech, who Apple apparently likes
better. Apple did offer the functionality to Bridge, as long as they could figure it out themselves
without debugging tools, which Logitech received through hard work and favoritism.
The inability to compete and cash flow issues sealed the company's fate.
All that's left now is a logo on their website and a massive why.
Why indeed. Why? Why, Lisa, why?
You are tearing me apart!
The Apple Watch has been credited with saving a woman's life due to its fall detection
feature, marking the first time a human life has been saved by knowing what season it is.
By the way, it's currently not fall.
When the user's coworker found her collapsed on her hotel room floor, she called 911, only
to find that emergency services were already on the way.
When reached for comment, Apple responded, now that the Apple Watch has the ability to
save a life. The only feature left to add is the ability to take one.
Chinese company Power Leader has announced a new revolutionary CPU line called PowerStar
and unveiled their first chip, the P301105.
Now some people have been claiming that the CPU is just a rebranded Intel Core 10th Gen
chip because they looked at the P3 with their eyes, but Power Leader says these chips have
been specially designed for daily desktop users. Of course they never said who designed them.
I won't Intel. The company didn't mention a price or release date, but you can find this leaked information
by searching for Intel Core i3-10105.
And French biotech company NeoPlants has released its first line of genetically modified house
plants. Their superpower? The ability to clean indoor pollutants with the power of 30 normal plants.
I was really hoping for telepathic ferns, but I guess slightly better air quality is
fine. As long as you throw them, you gotta start it.
The soil they're planted in has formaldehyde eating microbes, which is a way better superpower.
The X-Men aren't calling you back either way, but the formaldehyde eater has a much better
shot than the HEPA filter man.
And he hasn't made any progress because he again, he can't move, he's a plant.
And don't filter out the tech news, we'll be back again this Wednesday.
And if you don't come back, I'll be sad. And when I'm sad, I get mad.
And when I get mad, I'm sorry, I'm still upset about the quick bits.
Mom?