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Welcome to TechLink, your source of monthly updates on which tech giants are mad at each other.

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Who stole Who's Boyfriend this week? More than 11, which is right now.

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You want me to do it again? No. Go ahead.

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Welcome to Tech... Nintendo has issued DMCA takedown requests to Microsoft subsidiary GitHub over software

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tools used to emulate Nintendo's sovereign copyrighted games, which were simply not meant

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to be played outside of their natural habitat, severely underpowered consoles.

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One such tool is Lockpick, which allows users to dump decryption keys from their Switch

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games so that they can be emulated on PC by thugs and ruffians.

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Wrap scallions even. Gross. The gallows for you!

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Nintendo fears for the integrity of the true experience of playing their games on the

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Switch since emulating Switch games has the terrible side effect of making them playable.

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The true experience is just watching your Pokemon glitch out of existence and then crash.

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This takedown doesn't simply apply to the original posting to the software, but would

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also affect anyone who FORT the GitHub repository, which is a way for people to copy a project

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on GitHub so that they can experiment or iterate on it. Take for example Simon Arons on Twitter, who received a copy of Nintendo's DMCA request

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when he made the Forking mistake. Some speculate that this is due to the tears of the kingdom leak, and Nintendo, I get it.

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I know taking away the ability for users to get keys from games they legally paid for

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and thus incentivizing those users to obtain keys illegally sounds like a solution to piracy,

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but wait. If you carry the three, if you don't do that, I think we got it wrong.

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According to leaks, Google is planning to make search more visual, snackable, personal,

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and human, which I assumed meant they wanted to be the go-to search engine for cannibals.

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Apparently what that extremely quotable corpuspeak actually means is that Google is aiming to

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tackle search prompts that aren't answerable by their traditional farm-to-table search results.

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According to leaked internal documents, the newly humbled Emperor of Search will be adding

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short videos to its results because of how young people like to get their information.

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An internal Google study suggested 40% of the youths use TikTok or Instagram when searching

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for restaurants. As a result, not only will future searchers be asked follow-up questions by an AI chatbot,

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but also may be prompted to swipe through visuals like TikToks or shorts.

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Because when you're plumbing the depths of accumulated human knowledge on a topic, you

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want to start with the thoughts of thousands of 14-year-olds with main character syndrome.

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This man looked at me for five seconds in a gym and I felt attacked. Let me explain.

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And then spends four minutes telling us nothing. Anyway, an Uber's ex-Chief security officer has been sentenced for covering up a 2016

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hack. After receiving an email from hackers telling him they had the data of 50 million Uber customers

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and 7 million drivers, then security chief Joseph Sullivan paid the attackers $100,000

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under the condition of them signing an NDA to not disclose the hack to anyone.

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For his crime of covering up the exposure of at least 57 million users' names and phone

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numbers, he was issued a $50,000 fine and sentenced to three years of probation.

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How was he supposed to do security from prison? Was he supposed to secure the prison?

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Use your brain, guys. 50 current and former chief security officers from the likes of Netflix US and even the

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US government sent a letter to the judge pleading for Sullivan not to go to prison.

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They said their job requires nuanced judgment calls in a largely unregulated environment.

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I mean, how was Sullivan supposed to know he was committing a crime?

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He's not a federal prosecutor anymore. It's been years.

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Yeah, and it's not like he was regarded as a security expert in Silicon Valley anymore

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because he was charged with his crime, but you know, before he was, I wanted to do more

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main stories, but all I have are these stupid quick bits. Stupid.

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Mom! Go to my room.

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Twitter has admitted private circle tweets have been viewable by everyone on Twitter,

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merely most of a month after the issue was discovered by users.

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Circle tweets are supposed to only be viewable by other members of the circle, yet circle

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users have been getting likes and views from outsiders.

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I didn't want everyone on Twitter to know how much I love the TV series Monk starring

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Tony Shalhoub, Elon, Bridge, a company that made popular iPad accessories, has gone kaput.

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They actually released a trackpad keyboard for iPad Pro months before Apple released

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the official Magic Keyboard and added native trackpad support to iPadOS, but Apple reserved

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trackpad gestures for first party accessories and also Logitech, who Apple apparently likes

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better. Apple did offer the functionality to Bridge, as long as they could figure it out themselves

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without debugging tools, which Logitech received through hard work and favoritism.

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The inability to compete and cash flow issues sealed the company's fate.

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All that's left now is a logo on their website and a massive why.

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Why indeed. Why? Why, Lisa, why?

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You are tearing me apart!

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The Apple Watch has been credited with saving a woman's life due to its fall detection

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feature, marking the first time a human life has been saved by knowing what season it is.

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By the way, it's currently not fall.

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When the user's coworker found her collapsed on her hotel room floor, she called 911, only

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to find that emergency services were already on the way.

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When reached for comment, Apple responded, now that the Apple Watch has the ability to

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save a life. The only feature left to add is the ability to take one.

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Chinese company Power Leader has announced a new revolutionary CPU line called PowerStar

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and unveiled their first chip, the P301105.

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Now some people have been claiming that the CPU is just a rebranded Intel Core 10th Gen

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chip because they looked at the P3 with their eyes, but Power Leader says these chips have

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been specially designed for daily desktop users. Of course they never said who designed them.

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I won't Intel. The company didn't mention a price or release date, but you can find this leaked information

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by searching for Intel Core i3-10105.

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And French biotech company NeoPlants has released its first line of genetically modified house

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plants. Their superpower? The ability to clean indoor pollutants with the power of 30 normal plants.

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I was really hoping for telepathic ferns, but I guess slightly better air quality is

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fine. As long as you throw them, you gotta start it.

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The soil they're planted in has formaldehyde eating microbes, which is a way better superpower.

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The X-Men aren't calling you back either way, but the formaldehyde eater has a much better

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shot than the HEPA filter man.

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And he hasn't made any progress because he again, he can't move, he's a plant.

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And don't filter out the tech news, we'll be back again this Wednesday.

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And if you don't come back, I'll be sad. And when I'm sad, I get mad.

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And when I get mad, I'm sorry, I'm still upset about the quick bits.

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Mom?