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Tech news can help you understand and adapt to important technological, economic,

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and sociocultural shifts that affect all of us.

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But why keep up with it at all?

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It's a good question.

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Hell, if I know, Nintendo has updated their user agreements

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to let gamers know they might break your switch

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if you screw around with it. Because as much as they love to sue people,

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it's like their favorite thing other than releasing the same game a million times,

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it's just faster to remotely disable people's consoles.

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And along with it, their ability to legally play Nintendo's games.

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Hold on. As first spotted by Steven Toteo at gamefile,

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the old Nintendo account agreement for US accounts

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forbade a long list of jailbreak-y actions

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like copying, modifying, and decompiling Nintendo services.

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But the new agreement goes into more detail and notes that failing to comply with these restrictions

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may cause Nintendo to render your account and or Nintendo device permanently unusable

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in whole or in part. I don't know what that last part is, like they might break only your joy-con sticks,

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make them worse than they already are. The UK version of the agreement is a bit softer,

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saying non-compliance may result in the console becoming unusable.

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My appen might not stop. Nintendo also updated their privacy policy

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in the US and UK to say they might monitor and record your video and audio interactions

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with other users. So just make sure you get all the swearing out

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of your system before you sit down to play online, okay?

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NVIDIA is reportedly once again refusing to give tech reviewers official drivers for the RTX 5060

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until the card launches on May 19th.

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Igor's lab first made this claim, but it was corroborated by Hardware Unboxed

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and Andrea Schilling of Hardware Lux, who pointed out NVIDIA's plan sucks extra hard

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because May 19th is the first day of Computex

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and everybody's gonna be in Taiwan, possibly enjoying delicious soup dumplings

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and bubble tea, which is not important right now. What's important is we're looking at another launch day

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filled potentially with videos of short sandaled people

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complaining about not being able to publish a review. Thanks, NVIDIA.

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Honestly, the Radeon RX9060XT, listings of which leaked recently,

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revealing both eight gig and 16 gig variants, can't come soon enough, please.

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Let line is review something, anything. Apple has filed a motion to stay that ruling

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from last week, forcing the tech giant to allow external payment options on iOS,

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even though Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers explicitly said she would not grant a stay

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and that she is generally sick of Apple's shenanigans.

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That's my paraphrasing. But you see, Apple had no choice but to try something

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because if they don't collect all the commissions they can,

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even on purchases made outside of the app store, they could lose hundreds of millions,

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even billions of dollars, which I believe was the whole idea, but I could be wrong.

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Obviously Epic Games thinks Apple's motion is BS.

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The company just submitted the Fortnite iOS app to Apple for review once again.

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And again, I feel like it won't be approved,

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but I appreciate Tim Sweeney's spirit. Meanwhile, Apple SVP Eddie Q made a spirited argument

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in the Google search antitrust remedies trial, asserting that Google should still be allowed

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to pay Apple 20 billion a year to be Safari's default search engine

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because search won't even be relevant soon anyway.

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I mean, people are using it less because they're using AI to search for stuff instead.

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Now Google didn't love the sound of that, so they posted a short statement to say,

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ah, well, hey, just hold on now.

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We're still seeing overall query growth in search.

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So I mean, Google's still a big deal. And then Apple's like, no, it's not.

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And then Google's like, yes, it is. Anyway, Eddie even went so far as to say,

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you may not even need an iPhone by 2035

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because AI is changing how people use the web so much.

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In fact, the changes are so big, according to Cloudflare CEO Matthew Prince,

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they're killing the internet's entire business model.

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I mean, the tides are changing. Winds are shifting, your honor.

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There are probably a lot of things we should be worrying about instead of Google

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paying Apple 20 billion dollars, so probably just keep letting them do that, okay?

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I mean, why not? I know why tech news is useful.

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No idea what the quick bits are for. An AI generated video of a man killed

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in a road rage incident in Arizona was played during the killer's trial

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and accepted by the judge as a victim impact statement.

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The video was produced by the victim's sister and features the man saying he believes in forgiveness

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despite his family asking the judge to deliver the maximum sentence.

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After hearing the testimony, the judge said he didn't hear the victim

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asking for the maximum sentence, probably because that wasn't actually the victim.

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It was a fake person. Does everyone realize that? And then the judge handed out the max sentence anyway.

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Okay, so not sure what we learned from any of this.

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Huawei showed off its first laptops running a desktop version of its Harmony OS operating system.

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The Chinese tech giant first started developing Harmony OS as an Android based alternative

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to reduce their reliance on Google and now they're trying to reduce dependence on Microsoft too

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because of the US-China trade war and also probably because they're sick of the constant

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nagging to upgrade to Windows 11. In case you missed it, there's a new Pope in town

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and yeah, he's a gamer, kind of.

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Robert Pravos, aka Pope Leo XIV

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is the first American Pope and the first one confirmed to play video games,

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specifically Wordle and Words with Friends, according to his biological gamer, Bros.

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He's also the first Pope that can be properly stocked on social media.

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Evidence has already been discovered of him arguing with his relatives on Facebook.

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He's just like us. And a viral TikTok trend called the Chromebook Challenge

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in which kids stick objects into the USB ports

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of their school-issued Chromebooks to elicit a bit of magic smoke

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has unsurprisingly led to fires and evacuations

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at schools in multiple states. As one TikTok video points out,

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blowing up your Chromebook may lead to a situation where it ain't even a Chromebook anymore.

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Important lessons learned. Searching Chromebook Challenge on TikTok

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now leads to a TikTok page warning against participating in such challenges,

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which they needed to do because the fire challenge was already a thing

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and that involved kids pouring flammable liquid on themselves

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and then lighting that liquid on fire. What is the challenge there?

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To survive? Thankfully, kids have already pivoted to finding new and creative ways

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to screw with their Chromebook settings, making the laptop hard to use the old-fashioned way.

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Maybe the kids are all right. Maybe the kids are all right.

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But I won't be all right unless you come back on Monday for more tech news.

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I'll just be sitting here worried sick that you're doing something less useful,

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like touching grass or other things that are outside.

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Your hands might get dirty.