Yeah, I'm into tech news, telling every cool human nothing except what's slappin',
that's why we're changing the name of the show to slap-linked.
AMD teased the Ryzen 9800X3D today. What that means in practice is that they said the name,
mentioned a launch date of November 7th, and said absolutely nothing else.
Alright, but it's okay, that's what leaks are for. While AMD hasn't stated a price,
the 9800X3D has already been spotted at some US retailers for around 500 bucks.
On top of that, leaked Cinebench R23 results from the non-tech forums show the upcoming chip
getting over 25,000 points in multicore and just over 2200 in single core. The tested CPU was
overclocked, but the results are fairly close to separate Cinebench results leaked by Code Commando
Big day for Cinebench. Cinebench heads rise up.
Do you think Code Commando only ever tweets without his underpants on?
I hope so. Code Commando also tweeted Cinebench results for the 9950X3D,
leaked scores for an unannounced chip, making these numbers especially naughty.
According to those scores, the 9950X3D will be over 18% faster than the 7950X3D,
a massive shock to the five people that bought a 7950X3D.
But even more shocking, AMD is reportedly making even more Ryzen 5000 CPUs, Ryzen 5 5600T
and 5600XT. Their existence has been corroborated by leaker Momomo US on Twitter,
Geekbench results, and ASUS's official CPU support list for their motherboards.
So there are now seven different chips in the Ryzen 5600 series. I think we can stop now.
Intel said themselves that their upcoming flagship Core Ultra 9 285K was just okay at gaming
compared to its predecessor, the Core i9-4900K, but it may be over 10% faster in Cinebench.
Cinebench's big day continues. Leaked Cinebench scores for the upcoming chip were posted by a
Vietnamese leaker whose name I will not try to pronounce out of respect.
Since Aero Lake's whole identity has been efficiency, it's worth noting that the 285K
had to match the 4900K's 250W power draw to get those results. But there were also leaked
Geekbench scores for the locked Core Ultra 285 non-K, which showed the chip achieving
comparable performance to the 4900K, despite the 285's maximum power draw being about 60W lower.
Efficiency. It's what we're into now. Get on board. Even the multi-core score was on par,
despite the 285 having eight fewer threads due to the lack of hyperthreading.
See, it's not that the chips are bad, they're just holding back their full power.
They're like shaggy with ankle weights. Compared to the 4900 non-K, the 285 non-K beats it
by 12% in single-core and 13% in multi-core. That's great news for power-conscious users or
gamers who maybe want to save a bit of money by getting a non-K chip.
But if that's the case, you'll have to be a bit patient. Intel is launching the unlocked
K chips this week, but won't release the non-K variants until CES 2025. Just hold on. I believe in you.
Valve has said they won't have yearly Steam Deck refreshes because they don't think it's fair to
customers. At least that's according to Deck designers Lawrence Yang and Yazan Aldehayat,
who gave an interview to AussieOutletReviews.org last week. Specifically, Yang feels that it is
unfair to your customers to release new versions of a product every year that are only incrementally
better, a subtle jab at smartphone manufacturers and also every other company ever.
Now, Yang has previously stated in interviews that Valve won't release a Steam Deck 2 until
there's a generational improvement in performance, but he's now after a more ambitious goal of getting
a generational leap in compute without sacrificing battery life. That's something both Yang and
Aldehayat think we'll be waiting at least a couple of years for. And that means we'll also
probably be waiting a while for a Steam Deck that finally has a variable refresh rate display.
The designers actually told reviews.org that they intended VRR for the Steam Deck OLED,
but couldn't get it done on time. But you had to get that one out.
That one was a rush job. People were waiting. You don't understand.
Where are the quick bits? They're all around you. The world is quick bits.
But if I choose one place, it would be right here.
We don't usually get too excited about phone processors, but Qualcomm's just announced
new flagship, the Snapdragon 8 Elite. Sounds so cool. I'm getting a little flustered just
thinking about it. The chip is called the 8 Elite instead of the 8 Gen 4 because it uses Orion cores
just like Qualcomm's X Elite and X Plus laptop CPUs. That means this guy can be up to 45% faster
than the Snapdragon 8 Gen 3 while using 27% less power. There's also this AnTuTu benchmark
courtesy of OnLeaks showing the 8 Elite scoring nearly twice as high as an iPhone 16 Pro Max.
This puts the disappointing launch of the X Elite laptops into much clearer context.
I mean, Michael Jordan was just pretty good at baseball too.
Apple might finally fix the iPad mini's jelly scrolling issue with the upcoming iPad mini 7,
according to Jason Snell of the Six Colors podcast.
Jelly scrolling may sound delightful, but it's actually a form of screen tearing where the
left and right half of the screen refresh out of sync, resulting in a wave effect. And everyone
learned about this when the last iPad mini launched. It was great. For some reason, Apple
decided that the iPad mini screen would refresh from left to right rather than top to bottom,
causing it to wobble like a bowl of jelly or Santa's belly, though it feels hurtful to point that out.
Santa's working really hard. Sorry, Santa. He's on Atkins.
The internet archive is slowly coming back online after the momentous hack recently,
but it has been revealed that someone still has control of the site's internal emailing tools.
Users sending emails to the site report all getting the same response, clearly written by someone
who isn't the internet archive. The hacker has access to the site's support tickets,
including anyone who emailed asking for their information to be removed from the site.
The archive was at least able to send one legitimate email last week asking users for donations,
which will be happy to do as soon as there's a way to do that safely. Please figure it out.
In response to widespread rumors, ByteDance has confirmed that an intern was fired in August
apparently for intentionally sabotaging, or at least trying to sabotage,
the company's internal AI training thing. Some of the Wilder speculation online claimed that the
sabotage involved over 8,000 GPUs and that ByteDance had lost tens of millions of dollars
presumably due to the intern's interference, claims that ByteDance has called seriously exaggerated.
The company has notably lagged behind its rivals in terms of AI development and lost a high number
of key AI talent earlier this year, but I guess now it seems like they've found at least one
employee who gets results. And Microsoft has announced that businesses can now start making
their own autonomous AI agents starting next month. The company is also releasing 10
pre-made bots that can carry out tasks in multiple categories. There are sales bots that can prioritize
sales leads and automate order intake, operations bots that can manage your supply chain and
financial processes, and of course, bots for customer service. The ones everyone loves.
Don't worry though, Microsoft says these aren't meant to replace jobs,
they're meant to free up time for more valuable tasks. Tasks like firing all the people you just
replaced with AI. I shouldn't laugh, I'm sorry. But we'd never replace you as long as you come
back on Wednesday for more tech news. It's not a threat.