WEBVTT

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Yeah, I'm into tech news, telling every cool human nothing except what's slappin',

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that's why we're changing the name of the show to slap-linked.

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AMD teased the Ryzen 9800X3D today. What that means in practice is that they said the name,

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mentioned a launch date of November 7th, and said absolutely nothing else.

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Alright, but it's okay, that's what leaks are for. While AMD hasn't stated a price,

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the 9800X3D has already been spotted at some US retailers for around 500 bucks.

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On top of that, leaked Cinebench R23 results from the non-tech forums show the upcoming chip

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getting over 25,000 points in multicore and just over 2200 in single core. The tested CPU was

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overclocked, but the results are fairly close to separate Cinebench results leaked by Code Commando

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Big day for Cinebench. Cinebench heads rise up.

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Do you think Code Commando only ever tweets without his underpants on?

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I hope so. Code Commando also tweeted Cinebench results for the 9950X3D,

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leaked scores for an unannounced chip, making these numbers especially naughty.

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According to those scores, the 9950X3D will be over 18% faster than the 7950X3D,

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a massive shock to the five people that bought a 7950X3D.

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But even more shocking, AMD is reportedly making even more Ryzen 5000 CPUs, Ryzen 5 5600T

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and 5600XT. Their existence has been corroborated by leaker Momomo US on Twitter,

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Geekbench results, and ASUS's official CPU support list for their motherboards.

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So there are now seven different chips in the Ryzen 5600 series. I think we can stop now.

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Intel said themselves that their upcoming flagship Core Ultra 9 285K was just okay at gaming

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compared to its predecessor, the Core i9-4900K, but it may be over 10% faster in Cinebench.

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Cinebench's big day continues. Leaked Cinebench scores for the upcoming chip were posted by a

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Vietnamese leaker whose name I will not try to pronounce out of respect.

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Since Aero Lake's whole identity has been efficiency, it's worth noting that the 285K

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had to match the 4900K's 250W power draw to get those results. But there were also leaked

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Geekbench scores for the locked Core Ultra 285 non-K, which showed the chip achieving

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comparable performance to the 4900K, despite the 285's maximum power draw being about 60W lower.

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Efficiency. It's what we're into now. Get on board. Even the multi-core score was on par,

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despite the 285 having eight fewer threads due to the lack of hyperthreading.

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See, it's not that the chips are bad, they're just holding back their full power.

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They're like shaggy with ankle weights. Compared to the 4900 non-K, the 285 non-K beats it

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by 12% in single-core and 13% in multi-core. That's great news for power-conscious users or

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gamers who maybe want to save a bit of money by getting a non-K chip.

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But if that's the case, you'll have to be a bit patient. Intel is launching the unlocked

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K chips this week, but won't release the non-K variants until CES 2025. Just hold on. I believe in you.

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Valve has said they won't have yearly Steam Deck refreshes because they don't think it's fair to

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customers. At least that's according to Deck designers Lawrence Yang and Yazan Aldehayat,

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who gave an interview to AussieOutletReviews.org last week. Specifically, Yang feels that it is

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unfair to your customers to release new versions of a product every year that are only incrementally

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better, a subtle jab at smartphone manufacturers and also every other company ever.

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Now, Yang has previously stated in interviews that Valve won't release a Steam Deck 2 until

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there's a generational improvement in performance, but he's now after a more ambitious goal of getting

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a generational leap in compute without sacrificing battery life. That's something both Yang and

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Aldehayat think we'll be waiting at least a couple of years for. And that means we'll also

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probably be waiting a while for a Steam Deck that finally has a variable refresh rate display.

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The designers actually told reviews.org that they intended VRR for the Steam Deck OLED,

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but couldn't get it done on time. But you had to get that one out.

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That one was a rush job. People were waiting. You don't understand.

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Where are the quick bits? They're all around you. The world is quick bits.

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But if I choose one place, it would be right here.

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We don't usually get too excited about phone processors, but Qualcomm's just announced

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new flagship, the Snapdragon 8 Elite. Sounds so cool. I'm getting a little flustered just

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thinking about it. The chip is called the 8 Elite instead of the 8 Gen 4 because it uses Orion cores

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just like Qualcomm's X Elite and X Plus laptop CPUs. That means this guy can be up to 45% faster

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than the Snapdragon 8 Gen 3 while using 27% less power. There's also this AnTuTu benchmark

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courtesy of OnLeaks showing the 8 Elite scoring nearly twice as high as an iPhone 16 Pro Max.

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This puts the disappointing launch of the X Elite laptops into much clearer context.

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I mean, Michael Jordan was just pretty good at baseball too.

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Apple might finally fix the iPad mini's jelly scrolling issue with the upcoming iPad mini 7,

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according to Jason Snell of the Six Colors podcast.

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Jelly scrolling may sound delightful, but it's actually a form of screen tearing where the

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left and right half of the screen refresh out of sync, resulting in a wave effect. And everyone

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learned about this when the last iPad mini launched. It was great. For some reason, Apple

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decided that the iPad mini screen would refresh from left to right rather than top to bottom,

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causing it to wobble like a bowl of jelly or Santa's belly, though it feels hurtful to point that out.

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Santa's working really hard. Sorry, Santa. He's on Atkins.

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The internet archive is slowly coming back online after the momentous hack recently,

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but it has been revealed that someone still has control of the site's internal emailing tools.

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Users sending emails to the site report all getting the same response, clearly written by someone

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who isn't the internet archive. The hacker has access to the site's support tickets,

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including anyone who emailed asking for their information to be removed from the site.

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The archive was at least able to send one legitimate email last week asking users for donations,

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which will be happy to do as soon as there's a way to do that safely. Please figure it out.

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In response to widespread rumors, ByteDance has confirmed that an intern was fired in August

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apparently for intentionally sabotaging, or at least trying to sabotage,

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the company's internal AI training thing. Some of the Wilder speculation online claimed that the

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sabotage involved over 8,000 GPUs and that ByteDance had lost tens of millions of dollars

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presumably due to the intern's interference, claims that ByteDance has called seriously exaggerated.

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The company has notably lagged behind its rivals in terms of AI development and lost a high number

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of key AI talent earlier this year, but I guess now it seems like they've found at least one

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employee who gets results. And Microsoft has announced that businesses can now start making

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their own autonomous AI agents starting next month. The company is also releasing 10

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pre-made bots that can carry out tasks in multiple categories. There are sales bots that can prioritize

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sales leads and automate order intake, operations bots that can manage your supply chain and

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financial processes, and of course, bots for customer service. The ones everyone loves.

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Don't worry though, Microsoft says these aren't meant to replace jobs,

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they're meant to free up time for more valuable tasks. Tasks like firing all the people you just

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replaced with AI. I shouldn't laugh, I'm sorry. But we'd never replace you as long as you come

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back on Wednesday for more tech news. It's not a threat.
