WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.160 Hear ye, hear ye, the kingdom of tech doth bring news most urgent from the digital realm. 00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:11.200 The trebuchets are loaded, the Zuckerberg approaches, loose the news! 00:00:11.200 --> 00:00:17.280 23 major news outlets are blocking the internet archive's incredibly useful wayback machine 00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:22.960 from crawling their sites. Because, you know, we cannot, in fact, have nice things anymore. 00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:28.320 USA Today just recently used the wayback machine to call out ICE for altering detention stats, 00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:32.480 and then immediately block the archival tool from crawling their own site. Which is, frankly, 00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:38.560 just rude. The news outlets say this is necessary to stop AI crawlers from treating their sites 00:00:38.560 --> 00:00:44.400 like an all-you-can-scrape buffet. But not all of them are blocking wayback's crawler. 00:00:44.400 --> 00:00:49.280 The Guardian's Director of Business Affairs said that the Wayback Machine's API is a real AI risk, 00:00:49.280 --> 00:00:54.160 so they are only going to be blocking that. So maybe don't attack them on social media. 00:00:54.160 --> 00:00:58.160 Wayback's Director Mark Graham responded, calling those AI fears 00:00:58.160 --> 00:01:04.000 unfounded and restating how much effort they put into preventing possible abuses of the crawler. 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:08.800 Groups like Fight for the Future and Electronic Frontier Foundation are rallying journalists 00:01:08.800 --> 00:01:13.760 to publicly back the archive, and over 100 of them have signed a letter thanking the 00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:18.480 Internet Archive and the Wayback Machine for being an essential and critical tool. 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:23.280 In other words, please don't die, we kind of need you to fact-check our bosses, please. 00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:28.960 Google, Microsoft, and Meta are all tracking users even when they opt out of cookies, 00:01:28.960 --> 00:01:34.000 according to an independent privacy audit. WebXray, a privacy-focused search engine, 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:39.920 which is founded by a former Google privacy engineer, scanned over 7,000 popular California 00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:47.440 websites, finding that 55% did set ad cookies even after users clicked reject. 00:01:47.520 --> 00:01:50.720 Big Tech isn't respecting people's privacy? No way! 00:01:51.840 --> 00:01:57.920 According to the report, Google, Microsoft, and Meta failed to honor the opt-outs 86, 50, 00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:03.680 and 69% of the time respectively. Nice. Sorry, the number, not the situation. 00:02:03.680 --> 00:02:08.160 Unsurprisingly, all three companies disputed the findings, with Google calling it a 00:02:08.160 --> 00:02:12.960 fundamental misunderstanding of the technology, with Microsoft complaining that a rejection of 00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:17.600 all cookies would cause some websites to break. According to WebXray's founder, 00:02:17.600 --> 00:02:22.240 the three companies have paid billions in privacy-related finds already, 00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:26.160 but that they see these payments as part of a cost-of-doing business. 00:02:26.160 --> 00:02:30.640 You know what they say, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few billion eggs. 00:02:30.640 --> 00:02:36.000 The FCC just granted Netgear a conditional exemption from the US ban on importing new models 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:42.000 of foreign routers, making it the only company currently allowed to import and sell foreign 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:47.760 made consumer routers. Neither the FCC nor Netgear have explained why this special privilege 00:02:47.760 --> 00:02:53.760 has been granted. The only possible explanation? Netgear is FCC chair Brendan Carr's illegitimate 00:02:53.760 --> 00:02:59.760 son. Or maybe they just bought a s**t load of Trump phones. The whole thing is genuinely baffling, 00:02:59.760 --> 00:03:05.680 especially since the FCC's original justification for the ban was the Volt Typhoon hack, which 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:12.560 primarily targeted Cisco and, guess what, Netgear routers. Even weirder, the FCC's approval process 00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:19.440 for the exemption requires a detailed plan to expand US manufacturing, which Netgear hasn't 00:03:19.440 --> 00:03:25.200 publicly committed to do. Critics are also quick to flag that the approval process asks 00:03:25.200 --> 00:03:31.040 zero questions about router security, with the focus being entirely on where the routers are made, 00:03:31.040 --> 00:03:37.040 which, for the vast majority of consumer routers, is not in the US. Until other brands secure their 00:03:37.040 --> 00:03:41.920 own exemptions, Netgear is going to be living a very privileged life. That illegitimate son's 00:03:41.920 --> 00:03:48.560 theory sounding a little less crazy now, eh? Eh? And low, in our hour of greatest need, 00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:54.320 cometh our salvation, diminutive in-stature, yet vicious. Release the quick bits! 00:03:54.320 --> 00:03:59.520 Windows Recall is facing fresh security issues raised by researcher Alexander Haag- oh wow, 00:04:00.480 --> 00:04:05.760 Alexander H, whose work contributed to Microsoft delaying the original version of the feature. 00:04:05.760 --> 00:04:10.240 H's tool, Total Recall Reloaded, demonstrates how malware can 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:16.080 ride along with Windows Recall, getting a free pass to the PC's entire history, 00:04:16.080 --> 00:04:22.560 which is precisely the scenario Microsoft's architecture should restrict. Despite Alexander 00:04:22.560 --> 00:04:27.040 submitting a full report to Microsoft, they denied that it was an issue, saying that it 00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:31.440 falls within the current documented security design. I guess that means it's not a bug, 00:04:31.440 --> 00:04:36.480 but a feature if they put it in the manual, right? Really makes me recall why Windows gives me the 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:45.680 ick. China has just tested a device that can cut undersea cables at a depth of 3500 meters, 00:04:45.680 --> 00:04:51.120 hailing it as a breakthrough in pipeline repair, and causing other governments to flip out. 00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:56.560 The announcement comes amidst global tension around a string of suspected sabotage incidents 00:04:56.560 --> 00:05:01.440 in which undersea cables carrying the world's internet communications were severed. This prompted 00:05:01.440 --> 00:05:06.560 NATO to patrol the waters near these cables to protect them. So you better torrent your anime now, 00:05:06.560 --> 00:05:13.200 boys, if you ever want to find out if Princess Mononoke finally gets her… glass slippers back. 00:05:13.200 --> 00:05:20.960 Snap CEO Evan Spiegel announced plans to lay off 1,000 employees, which is 16% of the workforce, 00:05:20.960 --> 00:05:25.760 because AI has the capability of being the company's hardest working intern. 00:05:25.760 --> 00:05:30.320 Spiegel says AI productivity gains will let smaller teams reduce repetitive work 00:05:30.320 --> 00:05:35.600 and increase velocity, which tracks since Snapchat's product roadmap has historically 00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:43.360 been 90% new filters and 10% wondering if anyone asked for them. NVIDIA paid out almost 900 million 00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:48.720 in warranty claims last year, that is 10 times more than the previous year, thanks to the 16-pin 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:54.800 power connectors continuing to melt themselves into modern art. Look what they did to my boy! 00:05:54.800 --> 00:06:00.640 There is actually a silver lining in all of this though. At least one Taiwanese RTX 4090 owner 00:06:00.640 --> 00:06:06.400 was able to prevent a potential house fire last week. It was after his cat started screening when 00:06:06.400 --> 00:06:13.600 it smelled ray traced fumes. I guess the most reliable thermal monitoring tool in 2026 might 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:21.840 in fact be a cat. And Chinese automaker Sarah's was just granted a patent for an in-vehicle toilet. 00:06:21.840 --> 00:06:27.200 The good news is the toilet seat is not permanently fixed and can be hidden under the seat, 00:06:27.200 --> 00:06:31.680 otherwise your butt would get all, you know, sloshy and no one wants that. 00:06:31.680 --> 00:06:35.280 Hopefully the creator of the motorized toilet has had his invention patented, 00:06:35.280 --> 00:06:40.400 otherwise there's going to be a serious legal battle. I for one am on the side of the motorized 00:06:40.400 --> 00:06:46.960 toilet. I will not stand for big auto monopolizing the mobile bowel movement. That's just ridiculous. 00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:53.840 The siege is over. The kingdom of tech has fallen. But take heart, for now we rebuild. 00:06:53.840 --> 00:07:00.080 Two days hence on the 17th of April, we shall gather arms once more and reign tech news 00:07:00.080 --> 00:07:05.280 upon the heads of our enemies. This metaphor needs more work, but you kind of understand.