Hear ye, hear ye, the kingdom of tech doth bring news most urgent from the digital realm.
The trebuchets are loaded, the Zuckerberg approaches, loose the news!
23 major news outlets are blocking the internet archive's incredibly useful wayback machine
from crawling their sites. Because, you know, we cannot, in fact, have nice things anymore.
USA Today just recently used the wayback machine to call out ICE for altering detention stats,
and then immediately block the archival tool from crawling their own site. Which is, frankly,
just rude. The news outlets say this is necessary to stop AI crawlers from treating their sites
like an all-you-can-scrape buffet. But not all of them are blocking wayback's crawler.
The Guardian's Director of Business Affairs said that the Wayback Machine's API is a real AI risk,
so they are only going to be blocking that. So maybe don't attack them on social media.
Wayback's Director Mark Graham responded, calling those AI fears
unfounded and restating how much effort they put into preventing possible abuses of the crawler.
Groups like Fight for the Future and Electronic Frontier Foundation are rallying journalists
to publicly back the archive, and over 100 of them have signed a letter thanking the
Internet Archive and the Wayback Machine for being an essential and critical tool.
In other words, please don't die, we kind of need you to fact-check our bosses, please.
Google, Microsoft, and Meta are all tracking users even when they opt out of cookies,
according to an independent privacy audit. WebXray, a privacy-focused search engine,
which is founded by a former Google privacy engineer, scanned over 7,000 popular California
websites, finding that 55% did set ad cookies even after users clicked reject.
Big Tech isn't respecting people's privacy? No way!
According to the report, Google, Microsoft, and Meta failed to honor the opt-outs 86, 50,
and 69% of the time respectively. Nice. Sorry, the number, not the situation.
Unsurprisingly, all three companies disputed the findings, with Google calling it a
fundamental misunderstanding of the technology, with Microsoft complaining that a rejection of
all cookies would cause some websites to break. According to WebXray's founder,
the three companies have paid billions in privacy-related finds already,
but that they see these payments as part of a cost-of-doing business.
You know what they say, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few billion eggs.
The FCC just granted Netgear a conditional exemption from the US ban on importing new models
of foreign routers, making it the only company currently allowed to import and sell foreign
made consumer routers. Neither the FCC nor Netgear have explained why this special privilege
has been granted. The only possible explanation? Netgear is FCC chair Brendan Carr's illegitimate
son. Or maybe they just bought a s**t load of Trump phones. The whole thing is genuinely baffling,
especially since the FCC's original justification for the ban was the Volt Typhoon hack, which
primarily targeted Cisco and, guess what, Netgear routers. Even weirder, the FCC's approval process
for the exemption requires a detailed plan to expand US manufacturing, which Netgear hasn't
publicly committed to do. Critics are also quick to flag that the approval process asks
zero questions about router security, with the focus being entirely on where the routers are made,
which, for the vast majority of consumer routers, is not in the US. Until other brands secure their
own exemptions, Netgear is going to be living a very privileged life. That illegitimate son's
theory sounding a little less crazy now, eh? Eh? And low, in our hour of greatest need,
cometh our salvation, diminutive in-stature, yet vicious. Release the quick bits!
Windows Recall is facing fresh security issues raised by researcher Alexander Haag- oh wow,
Alexander H, whose work contributed to Microsoft delaying the original version of the feature.
H's tool, Total Recall Reloaded, demonstrates how malware can
ride along with Windows Recall, getting a free pass to the PC's entire history,
which is precisely the scenario Microsoft's architecture should restrict. Despite Alexander
submitting a full report to Microsoft, they denied that it was an issue, saying that it
falls within the current documented security design. I guess that means it's not a bug,
but a feature if they put it in the manual, right? Really makes me recall why Windows gives me the
ick. China has just tested a device that can cut undersea cables at a depth of 3500 meters,
hailing it as a breakthrough in pipeline repair, and causing other governments to flip out.
The announcement comes amidst global tension around a string of suspected sabotage incidents
in which undersea cables carrying the world's internet communications were severed. This prompted
NATO to patrol the waters near these cables to protect them. So you better torrent your anime now,
boys, if you ever want to find out if Princess Mononoke finally gets herâ¦ glass slippers back.
Snap CEO Evan Spiegel announced plans to lay off 1,000 employees, which is 16% of the workforce,
because AI has the capability of being the company's hardest working intern.
Spiegel says AI productivity gains will let smaller teams reduce repetitive work
and increase velocity, which tracks since Snapchat's product roadmap has historically
been 90% new filters and 10% wondering if anyone asked for them. NVIDIA paid out almost 900 million
in warranty claims last year, that is 10 times more than the previous year, thanks to the 16-pin
power connectors continuing to melt themselves into modern art. Look what they did to my boy!
There is actually a silver lining in all of this though. At least one Taiwanese RTX 4090 owner
was able to prevent a potential house fire last week. It was after his cat started screening when
it smelled ray traced fumes. I guess the most reliable thermal monitoring tool in 2026 might
in fact be a cat. And Chinese automaker Sarah's was just granted a patent for an in-vehicle toilet.
The good news is the toilet seat is not permanently fixed and can be hidden under the seat,
otherwise your butt would get all, you know, sloshy and no one wants that.
Hopefully the creator of the motorized toilet has had his invention patented,
otherwise there's going to be a serious legal battle. I for one am on the side of the motorized
toilet. I will not stand for big auto monopolizing the mobile bowel movement. That's just ridiculous.
The siege is over. The kingdom of tech has fallen. But take heart, for now we rebuild.
Two days hence on the 17th of April, we shall gather arms once more and reign tech news
upon the heads of our enemies. This metaphor needs more work, but you kind of understand.