Welcome to TechLinked, the show chronicling my effort to absorb the world's tech news
so that when I die, scientists in the future can access my body's memories to find out
what the hell was wrong with all of us. The internet was in chaos today after a serious Amazon Web Services outage.
Banks, airlines, Reddit, Facebook, Fortnite, and a load of other services and platforms
were inaccessible, leaving many people unable to access their own funds, book crucial flights,
and provide crucial context for that weird ass Reddit comment they just posted.
It's not what I meant. Overall, AWS serves about a third of the internet, and this outage even caused some
technical issues at our office. And we're in Canada.
We have our own internet. Now this outage is going to cause Amazon to be out some money, too, as companies that
missed out on business during the outage tried to collect repayment from Amazon, with some
estimates of the financial damage reaching into the hundreds of billions of dollars.
Amazon says the outage stems from a DNS issue in North Virginia, an issue which they say
has been mitigated, but there are still ongoing errors, and Amazon says it is working to fully
restore service. I just hope Amazon can fix things soon.
Think of all those unposted thirst traps being lost like tears and rain.
More research pointing to social media's harmful effects on teens has been conducted
by social media parent company, Metta, who didn't tell anyone about it, and I guess
hoped everyone just keeps posting through the pain. This internal Metta study, reported on by Reuters, found that teens who reported feeling
worse about their body after using Instagram tended to see about three times more content
that focused on body shapes or body parts that are usually sexualized, like the chest,
buttocks, or thighs. This is elbow kink erasure.
This and other content that people may disagree on the appropriateness of is categorized as
people disagree content by Metta in both the most sensible and most stupid naming decision
ever. They changed it to that from its former name, Teen Sensitive Content.
Because what? Are teens a bunch of f***ing snowflakes?
Get over it. Obviously, the study doesn't presume to draw a causal relationship between body dissatisfaction
and being served constant posts of perfect-looking people.
This is science. But at least Metta is looking at these things and taking some actions, like giving parents
some controls over their teens' ability to chat with the company's AI characters, who
have shown a willingness to, problematically, flirt with anything that moves.
Xbox has blamed the price of the ROG Xbox Ally X handheld on ASUS, with Xbox President
Sarah Bond telling Variety that Microsoft left the pricing up to ASUS, who apparently
have more insight into what people want.
There you have it. They priced it that way because it's what we wanted.
We all want $1,000 handhelds.
And how does ASUS know what gamers want more than the gaming console company?
Actually, this is Xbox. That makes sense.
Despite their cluelessness, though, Bond reiterated that Xbox is committed to making next-gen
hardware, which she confirmed is in development.
However, former corporate VP of Xbox and former president of Blizzard, Mike Ibarra, thinks
they shouldn't bother. In a tweet, Ibarra wrote that only a moron would continue to make console hardware when
the games all go or will go third-party. Ibarra also went after the This Is an Xbox ad campaign, saying that whoever came up with
that clearly doesn't play games. I mean, pfft, imagine an RPG where any item with a blade is just called sword.
How am I supposed to determine the power level? Now you'd think the quick bits are easier to absorb because they're small, but no.
Each one makes me feel like I got a little bit electrocuted.
Totally worth it, though. The scientists are counting on me. A United Airlines flight had its windshield shattered somewhere above Utah by space debris
Maybe? Images of the damage show that the pilot got multiple cuts on their ARM, which is exactly
what aliens would do. Probes. Probed his ARM.
But he managed to land safely. Apparently, the aircraft was too high up at the time of impact to have been hit by a bird
of earthly origin anyway. And while hail and an unregistered weather balloon are being bandied about as possible
culprits, space debris and meteorites are also being suggested.
Wait, so we still have just no idea? Have they looked at the plane yet?
I'm pretty sure they think it's the weather balloon.
Don't tell them that. So this is how the invasion kicks off, with the Zenos throwing their interstellar garbage
at our passenger planes. We could be talking about alien technology here, folks, and that's what makes it tech
news. Sure. Thousands of NSA and US government officials have had their personal data stolen by a group
of hackers. The same group recently doxxed hundreds of DHS, ICE, FBI, and DOJ officials.
Apparently, the data comes from the nearly one billion Salesforce records stolen earlier
this year, and the group says they have data on more than 22,000 government officials.
Previously, Salesforce told its clients it would not pay a ransom on the data, so it's
everyone else's problem now. And it appears the hacker group is looking to do business elsewhere.
However, upon the alleged doxxing of an NSA official, the group's server was taken offline.
Maybe they've pissed off the US government, or maybe they got taken down along with Fortnite
and Snapchat and all the other important things.
China has accused the US of carrying out cyber attacks against their national time center,
potentially shattering the fabric of reality itself. Now, that might sound like the US is attacking the hyperbolic time chamber from Dragon Ball
Z or something, but the time center dictates China's standard time and is crucial for communications,
finance, transportation, power, and defense services throughout the country.
You know, things that need time. Although the US embassy has not addressed China's allegations, China claims this is
part of a years-long set of cyber attacks that saw US agencies use 42 types of special
cyber attack weapons, which forced China to experience the horror of daylight savings
time. Still, anyway. But the US better look out, or China might send an army of dancing unitary robots that
will sashay their way to vengeance.
It is a little terrifying. Microsoft is denying any links between its data center complex in Querataro, Mexico,
and local water shortages, power outages, and illnesses.
While Microsoft claims they prioritize the needs of the community there, and Mexico's
national power company attributes power outages to stray animals and lightning strikes, reports
of issues have escalated in the last year since the data center opened.
Even if the data center isn't directly responsible for these issues, it seems the Querataro
region might not be the best spot for a data center anyway because of the regular droughts
it experiences and lack of power infrastructure.
Things you've said that you need. Some data centers have even resorted to running on gas generators.
Sure, Microsoft's statements here come off as unconvincing, but they said they didn't
do it. So I'm going to blame the only other obvious offender that's left, El Chupacabra.
They never proved it wasn't real. Kohler, the home goods company, has revealed the Dakota, a little camera that attaches to
your toilet bowl and snaps pictures of what's going on in there.
The images of your bowl business will get scanned to tell you about your hydration level
and gut health, okay? Don't worry though, the sensors are pointed down.
Your data is end-to-end encrypted, and Kohler promises that with the Dakota, privacy comes
first, which really does feel like it needs to be stated about a camera that close to
your wrinkle star. And hey, why don't you get your wrinkle star back here for more tech news on Wednesday?
It's going to be good. And no, I can't promise you that.
I don't know what I'm going to be required to absorb into my body on any given day.
And you might ask, Riley, what does that mean?