You know when you wake up and you can't move and there's a hunch of demons sitting on your chest
whispering dark implications? That's your sleep paralysis demon, Doug.
And today, he's whispering the tech news. Microsoft has finally admitted to itself
that Windows 11 sucks. According to a leaked report,
it has created an internal initiative to fix the much beleaguered OS,
codenamed K2. So named because ripping out all that bloatware
will be as hard as a 28,000 foot vertical set. The plan follows Microsoft's commitment
to win back users by addressing their pain points, as announced by Windows president,
Pavan Davaluri, back in March. Leaksay K2 will rebuild the start menu from scratch
in WinUI 3, removing ads and making it up to 60% faster.
K2 also includes a full file explorer overhaul.
Don't touch what I love. More reliable Windows updates and de-bloating the OS to run better on handhelds.
For gaming, Leaksay Microsoft's using Valve's Steam OS as a performance benchmark,
likely because the next Xbox console will run Windows 11.
For better or worse, in the meantime, Windows 11 is trying for some quick wins
by adding screen tents to reduce migraines.
Sure, Pavan. It was the blue light causing migraines.
Not every single patch Tuesday coming with a hundred bugs that bricked your machine.
It couldn't have been that. OpenAI is planning to release its own smartphone.
According to a report from supply chain analyst Ming-Chi Kuo.
Kuo says OpenAI is working with Qualcomm and MediaTek on the processors
with Luxshare as the exclusive co-design and manufacturing partner.
If true, this would make for the third hardware product OpenAI is planning to release
after Joni Ive's smart speaker and earbuds and not including that weird orb
that Altman keeps trying to scam, I mean, scan people with.
The goal with the smartphone product would be to compete with the iPhone by replacing apps with AI agents.
Ah, yes. I've always wanted to let my phone hallucinate directions
to the closest Burger King. I don't care that this is a bank. I want a Whopper God damn it, it's Wednesday.
Qualcomm shares jumped 13% in pre-market trading
this morning after Kuo's post. Further evidence that the market continues
to be as irrational as your uncle, 12 beers in at a fourth of July party,
claiming he can clear the pool if he gets a running start at it.
Give him a chance. Intel has reportedly canceled its next-gen celestial discreet gaming GPUs,
leaving ARK fans with no successor in sight to the Battlemage B580.
But they do this all the time with ARK, don't they? According to leaker Jaykin,
the celestial the architecture meant to follow Battlemage was killed long ago and Intel just didn't tell us,
which is a fun new way to break up with your customers. The chip design isn't dead.
It's just going to Panther Lake laptops and AI data centers instead,
where Intel can sell one chip with 160 gigs of memory
for more than a whole stack of gaming cards.
That leaves Druid as the only hope for a B580 successor.
But Jaykin says even that is up in the air.
So if you were waiting for an affordable ARK car to come in and fix the GPU market,
you may want to start waiting for something else,
like Half-Life 3 or our sponsor.
Much like your sleep paralysis demon, the quick bits also travel the nightmare realms,
but they're mostly delivering Uber Eats orders. Microsoft is finally letting Windows insiders
pause updates indefinitely. In 35-day chunks, they can extend forever
via a new calendar interface. The feature is rolling out to dev and experimental testers
with no cap on how many times you can hit extend, extend.
Of course, indefinitely here means clicking a button every 35 days for the rest of your natural life
on a beta build for the same OS that bricked itself with the last three updates.
But hey, something's better than nothing. Commodore has reversed course
on locking down third-party firmware for its C64 Ultimate Retro PC after community backlash,
opting for a use at your own risk disclaimer instead.
The original policy was meant to stop users from bricking their machines with custom mods
and asking Commodore to fix it. Now you're free to brick your C64 all you want,
which is exactly the kind of problem 80s hobbyists fought a war to have.
Welcome back to 1982, cowards. Meta signed to deal with startup overview energy
to beam solar power from satellites down to its AI data centers,
becoming the first company to lock in a space-based solar agreement.
The contract reserves up to one gigawatt of capacity
with an orbital demo planned for 2028 and commercial delivery by 2030,
that magical year that all policies started. Honestly, firing directed energy signals from orbit
at a precise location on Earth feels like Zuck may have finally found a company to help him phone home.
The war in Iran is reportedly disrupting the global supply chain for printed circuit boards,
further driving up computer component costs, as if that needed help.
According to Goldman Sachs, PCB prices increased by 40% between March and April,
and since they're used in everything that beeps and boops,
the entire tech industry is feeling pressure. The shortages due to a military strike on a refinery
where chemical giant Sabik produces around 70%
of the world's PPE resin. Here's hoping we can get that PPE flown again soon.
Why are there so many choke points in our system like this?
And Toyota has unveiled a $3,500 office chair
built from an actual Toyota Crown front power seat
with heating, cooling, power recline, and a seatbelt buckle repurposed into a USB-C charging port.
It runs off a built-in battery, is limited to only 70 units,
and is being sold exclusively in Japan. The seatbelt is non-functional,
and that's a real shame, because I'd love to see Toyota's airbag deployment system
go off mid-valorant match. Probably happened to why you're getting teabag too.
You're like, you shot him up! Just like I love to see you back here on Wednesday
for more tech news, because if I don't tell you the tech news, Doug says he's gonna take me back to the never-around,
where all of time and space folds in on itself in an infinite toroid without beginning or end.
See ya!