WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.600 Octobuses may have three hearts nine brains and the ability to open up jars from the inside, but consider this none of them watch tech news 00:00:07.600 --> 00:00:17.400 So could they really be that smart? Would they even know that China is apparently telling its top tech companies to refuse US investments unless they get 00:00:17.720 --> 00:00:24.000 explicit government approval? insiders reportedly told Bloomberg that this move is part of a broader response to 00:00:24.240 --> 00:00:29.760 Meta's purchase of Chinese AI agent focused startup menace with regulators citing 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:37.640 National security as they move to block US stakes in sensitive sectors, but I mean, I guess it's not that bad 00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:44.360 I mean China doesn't really need US money anyway to keep making EVs that feel more like flashy next-gen tech products than cars 00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:49.200 Which I guess is probably why BYD outsold Tesla globally last year 00:00:49.640 --> 00:00:56.080 Then this week tech giant Alidaba announced its quen AI models are going to be integrated into a number of vehicles made by Chinese automakers 00:00:56.440 --> 00:01:01.680 Like BYD, but then also SAIC Volkswagen the Chinese German joint venture 00:01:01.680 --> 00:01:05.280 So wait, I guess they're not against Western money in general 00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:11.680 They just prefer their own tech oligarchs to run things rather than bringing in the Zuck to help them throw billions of dollars down the drain 00:01:11.960 --> 00:01:17.840 Speaking of the Zuck Meta and Microsoft have both announced new massive reductions in staff 00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:25.480 Although in very different ways, Meta is laying off 8,000 people which amounts to 10% of its workforce 00:01:25.480 --> 00:01:31.680 Meta's CPO Janelle Gayle told staff that the cuts will offset the other investments we're making 00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:35.600 Well, that's comforting Some of you may die 00:01:35.600 --> 00:01:43.280 And makes sense, I guess given that Meta just committed up to a hundred thirty-five billion dollars on data centers this year alone 00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:55.280 Microsoft's plan meanwhile is a little more gentle They're offering voluntary buyouts to about 8,700 US employees in the company's first ever voluntary retirement program 00:01:55.880 --> 00:02:02.200 Anyone at the senior director level or below whose age and years worked at Microsoft add up to 70 can apply 00:02:02.200 --> 00:02:09.040 So if you're a 52 year old with 18 years at Microsoft, you're good to go and by go, I mean get out of here 00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:17.360 You got to hand it to Microsoft's legal team though voluntary retirement does kind of dodge the age discrimination lawsuits that regular layoffs can invite 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:24.960 While still keeping that we're all living in a dystopia vibe going and they say there's no innovation in tech anymore 00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:33.400 Apple meanwhile patched a vulnerability this week that let the FBI obtain deleted signal messages from a suspect's iPhone 00:02:33.400 --> 00:02:37.120 Even after the app was uninstalled and the messages were set to auto-delete 00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:41.200 The fix comes after an April 9th report from 404 media 00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:47.280 The outlet revealed that the Bureau was using a forensic tool to dig into a defendants push notification database 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:53.120 Where copies of incoming signal previews were quietly hanging around for long after they were supposed to be gone 00:02:53.440 --> 00:02:57.480 It turns out that iOS was treating signals delete request as more of a 00:02:58.320 --> 00:03:04.880 Suggestion Signal CEO Meredith Whitaker flagged the issue on blue sky noting that deleted notifications 00:03:05.200 --> 00:03:10.240 Shouldn't linger in any os database and asked apple to fix it and to apple's credit 00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:15.840 They did listen apple rolled out iOS 26.4.2 on wednesday with a patch highlighting 00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:20.560 Improved data redaction leading signal to publicly thank them for the quick turnaround 00:03:20.960 --> 00:03:26.320 A rare moment of tech giants listening to each other and helping protect people from government surveillance 00:03:26.800 --> 00:03:31.680 All it took was the FBI rifling through someone's notification history. You know who would never do that though 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:38.480 Our sponsor if you think about it octopuses can squeeze through any opening larger than their beak kind of like how i'm gonna squeeze 00:03:38.880 --> 00:03:41.920 All of these rapid morsels into the next couple of minutes 00:03:42.800 --> 00:03:49.760 Microsoft is finally letting it admins uninstall co-pilot from enterprise devices via a new patch Tuesday policy 00:03:50.320 --> 00:03:53.360 Which is good, but it does have some interesting conditions 00:03:53.840 --> 00:04:01.680 Microsoft 365 co-pilot has to be installed. I mean that one makes sense aka office. The user can't have installed co-pilot themselves 00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:07.360 Okay, sure. They can't delete something the user installed. Okay. I can I can jive with that one 00:04:07.920 --> 00:04:10.560 And co-pilot can't have been launched in the last 28 days 00:04:11.040 --> 00:04:14.640 Now come on. We all accidentally pressed the button sometimes 00:04:15.440 --> 00:04:21.280 What may not have been an accident is a conspiracy to profit from poly market gambling 00:04:21.520 --> 00:04:29.440 The french weather agency has asked police to investigate some suspected tampering with a weather sensor at charles de gall airport near paris 00:04:29.760 --> 00:04:34.160 After a couple of suspiciously timed temperature spikes that were 00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:44.400 Cashed in on to the tune of around 35 Thousand dollars in profit. You know, I thought the whole point of a blockchain prediction market is that it's supposed to be trustless 00:04:45.280 --> 00:04:48.480 But I guess that works great until someone demonstrates that the entire system 00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:55.120 Is plugged into an airport thermometer that anyone can walk up to with a hair dryer and go. Oh, yeah, I think the high of today is going to be 00:04:56.080 --> 00:05:04.640 52 It's democratizing insider trading a former ransomware negotiator at cybersecurity firm digital mint has pleaded guilty 00:05:04.880 --> 00:05:08.960 To playing both sides of the table with the hacker group that he was paid to fight 00:05:09.280 --> 00:05:13.520 prosecutors say that angelo martino gave the cyber gang known as 00:05:13.840 --> 00:05:20.000 Black cat his clients insurance limits and internal strategies across five different negotiations 00:05:20.640 --> 00:05:25.840 Helping to steal 75 million dollars in ransom money for a cut of the profits 00:05:26.400 --> 00:05:31.760 Feds have already seized 10 million dollars in assets from martino including a luxury fishing boat and 00:05:32.160 --> 00:05:37.920 inexplicably a food truck because you should never pretend to negotiate on an empty stomach 00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:43.360 The uk national cyber security center has unveiled a plug-and-play dongle called silent glass 00:05:43.520 --> 00:05:47.120 That can stop malware from being transmitted over HDMI or DisplayPort 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:50.640 If you're confused about why this device would be necessary 00:05:50.880 --> 00:05:58.080 It turns out that analysts are too protocol level exploits and compromised monitors are both legit attack vectors 00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:04.640 But they're basically non-existent outside of conference demos, but hey, I guess it makes about as much sense as anything else 00:06:04.640 --> 00:06:08.640 You'll find in the uk. Oh come on. That's not nice uk's catching strays today 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:16.480 And sony's ai division has built a ping-pong robot that just became the first machine to beat a professional table tennis player 00:06:16.640 --> 00:06:23.360 Under official tournament rules ace the ping-pong bot tracks the ball using nine cameras and measures spin 00:06:24.320 --> 00:06:32.240 700 times per second which according to a nature paper published this week is how it took down elite university players and pros alike 00:06:32.880 --> 00:06:41.200 That's right unbeatable bots are coming to athletic games now too And if chess is anything to go by this is inevitably going to lead to somebody cheating with a butt plug, but 00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:45.680 Robots can't replace your innate value as a conscious human being 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:52.240 So we want you to come back here on monday for more tech news. That's it for today. I'm going to go taste something with my arms 00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:58.480 Dang, the pus got nothing on me. We'll put my arms on stuff. They're not going to beat you. Yeah, that's good. Just like that. You're tasting 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:01.600 the air