1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,920 What's that boy? The tech news fell down a well? Oh, it's currently still falling down a well? 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,480 It's like a bottomless well situation? So we can't do anything. 3 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,680 You just wanted me to know. Good boy. 4 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,140 Discord announced today that it's rolling out global age verification 5 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:19,600 starting next month, taking a teen by default approach, 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:25,280 meaning that without verification, the app will default to an experience appropriate for teens. 7 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:29,760 Which would include updated communication settings, restricted access to age-gated spaces, 8 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,040 and content filtering. And will not include hanging out 9 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:37,880 in a blockbuster video parking lot, firing Roman candles into my friend Kyle's Honda Civic, 10 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,120 like I initially assumed. In order to validate their age, 11 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:46,040 users will need to either complete a facial age estimation video by a selfie, 12 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:51,480 or submit a photo of their government ID to one of Discord's third-party vendor partners. 13 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:55,600 As an added bonus, this also protects adults from being bullied by teens 14 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,860 in age-gated servers where they come together to innocently discuss 15 00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:02,300 their mutual love of the minions' extended cinematic universe. 16 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:06,220 Discord initially tested the system in the UK and Australia last year, 17 00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:11,200 but now it's being rolled out globally. Critics are quick to point to the October 2025 data breach 18 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:16,100 in which one of Discord's third-party vendors was compromised and approximately 70,000 users 19 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:21,840 had their age verification data exposed, including images of the government IDs. 20 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:26,660 But it's important to note that that leak was the product of a legacy age verification system 21 00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:30,180 that was introduced in 2020. Some of you weren't even born yet. 22 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:33,260 And Discord has terminated its contract with that vendor. 23 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:37,540 According to Savannah Batalich, Discord's global head of product policy, 24 00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:41,140 the new system uses similar face scan and ID-based verification, 25 00:01:41,140 --> 00:01:46,180 but with a few key differences. Facial age estimation is now done entirely on-device. 26 00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:50,540 Any ID documents submitted to vendors are, in most cases, deleted immediately 27 00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:54,260 after age confirmation, and Batalich says that if the age estimation 28 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:58,020 from the selfie is incorrect, users can appeal it or verify 29 00:01:58,020 --> 00:02:03,180 with a photo of a government ID instead. Discord is also rolling out an age inference model 30 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:08,180 that runs in the background and analyzes metadata like the types of game a user plays, 31 00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:11,340 their activity on Discord, and behavioral signals to estimate age. 32 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:16,460 So if Discord notices that you're listening to S-Club 7 and pausing your game every 30 minutes or so to go pee, 33 00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:21,580 it will assume correctly you're 45 years old and probably also hopefully send a message 34 00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:25,740 to your urologist. Or remind you about what the actual daily recommended intake 35 00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:29,880 is for Mountain Dew. It's zero, unless it's Co-Red. 36 00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:35,300 Then it's a lot. AMD's beastly Strix Halo APU has arrived 37 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:38,420 in another handheld, the Ioneo Next 2. 38 00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:43,540 But unlike existing Strix Halo handhelds, this one doesn't need an external battery 39 00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:47,780 or external validation, she knows who she is. And that's a handheld with a mass 40 00:02:47,780 --> 00:02:52,820 of 116 watt-hour internal battery. It's bigger than most gaming laptop batteries 41 00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:56,740 and could even cause you trouble at the airport. So that's how you know it's bad. 42 00:02:56,740 --> 00:03:00,140 Thank you, Jeff. They won't take me down. You're gonna have to pat me down. 43 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:04,940 The Next 2 has some other impressive specs too, which I guess is partially why Ioneo is okay 44 00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:09,060 with pricing the base model at $2,700 US dollars. 45 00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:12,620 Although the early bird price on Indiegogo is 2,300. 46 00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:16,980 And that's expensive, but like this is a new generation flagship Windows handhelds for the future 47 00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:22,380 masterpiece beyond imagination we're talking about here. And sure, you could also say that the other Strix Halo 48 00:03:22,420 --> 00:03:26,140 handhelds, the GPD Win 5 starting at $2,500 49 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:29,940 and the One X Player One X Fly Apex for $2,200 50 00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:32,980 are also handhelds for the future masterpiece beyond imagination, 51 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:37,100 but they need external battery packs. Regardless, they're all too expensive. 52 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:41,460 So hopefully soon we'll see handhelds sporting those two new Strix Halo variants 53 00:03:41,460 --> 00:03:45,100 that AMD announced at CES 2026 with fewer CPU cores, 54 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:50,260 but the same graphics power as the flagship Ryzen AI Max Plus 395, 55 00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:53,740 which could end up being a bit cheaper. I think I might like one wearing 56 00:03:53,740 --> 00:03:58,140 a little battery backpack though. I can imagine it's carrying its favorite treasures in there. 57 00:03:58,140 --> 00:04:02,780 For me, that's our sponsor. Ha, didn't see that one coming. 58 00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:07,380 All right, we got the tech news out of the well, but what's that? 59 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:11,060 The quick bits are down there now? God damn it! 60 00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:15,380 Intel may have canceled the release of its Core Ultra 9 290K plus 61 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:20,220 Aero Lake Refresh desktop processor. And I don't really know whether to mourn its death or not 62 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:23,460 because we only just heard about it today. So sad. 63 00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:27,860 Insider sources apparently told videocards.com of the cancellation, 64 00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:34,380 but said other Aero Lake Refresh parts, a 270K plus and a 250K plus are still coming. 65 00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:40,220 And there is some weight to the Aero Lake Refresh rumor since ASUS posted and deleted tweets about it 66 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:43,260 featuring these images with graceful robot hands 67 00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:46,300 holding motherboards. They're coming for your hand model jobs. 68 00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:50,540 Some a reliable leaker, HXL slash 9550 Pro 69 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:56,260 claimed the embargo will lift on March 23rd in a tweet with a saddening lack of robot hands. 70 00:04:56,260 --> 00:05:00,100 Or any hands at all. At least you got a job, pal. Great news, everybody. 71 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:04,660 They don't write these voices and I just do those. They've added co-pilot to the Windows 11 setup experience. 72 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:08,740 So if you need to download a large update when booting your new PC for the first time, 73 00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:12,380 you can chat with Microsoft's helpful little harbinger of humanities downfall 74 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:16,180 and even ask it to generate images of yourself doing what you're doing. 75 00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:23,420 Talking to a computer as if it's people. Really, if you could, please do anything with co-pilot. 76 00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:27,580 Microsoft would love to tell their investors, you guys did that once or twice. 77 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:30,740 VPN provider, Windscribe has claimed that Dutch authorities 78 00:05:30,740 --> 00:05:36,340 who are the best authorities seized one of their physical servers just yanked it right out of the rack without a warrant. 79 00:05:36,340 --> 00:05:40,580 Noting that because they use RAM disk servers, the cops won't find anything on there 80 00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:43,760 unless you count the unredacted E.P. Stein files. 81 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,400 How does that, how can they say that? 82 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,600 Unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be any supporting evidence that this seizure 83 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:57,160 actually happened other than Windscribe's own tweet, leading some observers to be skeptical of the whole thing. 84 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,640 The vibe is off. It's like, Dbrand did edgy marketing so I can do it too? 85 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:06,080 I'm not so sure. OpenAI is allegedly scaling back its first consumer hardware product, 86 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:10,800 a pair of AI earbuds developed in partnership with Apple's famous designer, Johnny Ive. 87 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:15,480 According to Twitter leaker, smart Pikachu, a patent filing in China revealed that the earbuds 88 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:19,480 will go to market under the name Dime or Demave, you're Spanish. 89 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,000 And while initially billed as a device with phone level computing power, 90 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,400 it's now being scaled back to something more like 91 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:31,120 regular earbuds. No! Smart Pikachu was apparently banned from Twitter 92 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:35,960 for bringing us this information. I guess not so smart. According to the post, soaring memory costs 93 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:40,360 made the original bill of materials too expensive so the enhanced features have been delayed. 94 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,400 The memory crisis tolls for these, that moment! 95 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaking of ex and losers, Elon Musk announced on ex yesterday that SpaceX, 96 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:54,280 that's so many exes, has shifted its near-term focus from settling Mars to building a self-growing city 97 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:58,560 on the moon. Whatever that means. This is a complete 180 for Musk, 98 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,640 who just last year called the moon a distraction. 99 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,040 Why they change your heart? In his tweet, Musk cites the moon's proximity 100 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:09,360 as the reason for the shift, evidently only now realizing that Mars 101 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,400 is farther from Earth than the moon. 102 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:16,040 By a lot! Truly a genius of our time. Ours technically made the point 103 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,760 with the success of Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin rocket flights 104 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:24,280 and their team going all in on lunar exploration, Musk needs to get there first 105 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:28,720 or risk losing the economic high ground. Also the dick-measuring contest. 106 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,880 So much like shifting Tesla factories to robot production 107 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,840 or pushing full self-driving subscriptions to unlock his trillion-dollar pay package 108 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,840 for Elon. It's less about human advancement 109 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:42,480 and more about getting that cake. Leaving no crumbs. 110 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:47,280 I mean, what's the point of unleashing hordes of potentially murderous robots and cars onto the world 111 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:51,760 if you can't even retreat to your own self-growing moon city if things go sideways? 112 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:55,000 You don't have eight months to get to Mars? There's no point. 113 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:59,800 Do you need a self-growing city? And Harvard engineers have 3D-printed soft robots 114 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:05,440 that bend, twist, and grasp on command by embedding air channels directly into the material 115 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:10,000 using a rotating nozzle. You pump air through the channels and the structure moves in whatever direction 116 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:14,920 was programmed during printing. The team demonstrated a gripper with articulated fingers 117 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:18,080 that curl around objects and a spiral actuator 118 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:22,080 that unfurls like a flower. The team says they intend to use the technology 119 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:26,720 for advanced surgical tools and wearable devices and definitely not for sex. 120 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:31,040 Unlike Moya, Droid Up's new humanoid robot that the company is calling the world's first 121 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:36,600 fully bio-mimetic robot in which we're calling an obvious attempt to make a real-life anime waifu. 122 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,480 Somebody has to. She's not Japanese, Riley. Like all the best waifus, 123 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,920 Moya walks with 92% human-like accuracy. 124 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:50,360 I'm willing to wager that 8% matters. Maintains a body temperature between 89.6 and 96.8 degrees 125 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:55,960 Fahrenheit and has a bunch of promo videos that feature an unusually high number of shots of its ass. 126 00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:01,080 I ain't buying any robot with no ass. And that's all the news we're pulling out of the well today. 127 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,880 Come back Wednesday when the tech news inevitably falls back in. 128 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,520 It is famously uncoordinated. Way too big of an ass. 129 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,520 Wagon. Can't block. Absolute rump.