It's time for tech news, where we report on the technology that will eventually replace
us and report on itself. Microsoft is accelerating development of its own AI chip to avoid reliance on invidious
products. The chips have been in the works since at least 2019, are built on TSMC's 5nm process,
and are known internally as Project Athena, because perhaps nothing says God of Wisdom
and War like modern AI. Select employees at Microsoft and OpenAI already have access to the new chips for testing
with large language models, or LLMs, and we might see a full launch as early as next
year. It's uncertain yet whether they will truly rival NVIDIA's own high-level AI chips, but
they don't really have to. Considering that LLMs take tens of thousands of GPUs and NVIDIA H100s are selling for over
$40,000 on eBay, Microsoft stands to save bundles by simply using its own in-house chips.
It could make even more by offering those chips to its Azure customers, though it's
not clear whether the company will sell access to them.
The total number of high-level GPUs NVIDIA can pump out is a major bottleneck to AI development,
so just imagine how much faster Microsoft will be able to stitch Bing Chat's brain
back together the next time Sydney goes off the deep end. The New York Police Department has announced a series of high-tech additions to their arsenal,
including at least two R2-D2-looking security drawers, if R2-D2 was for sitting on, a gun
that shoots tracking devices, and two police DigiDogs.
Some of you might recognize these as Boston Dynamics' spot model, which does resemble
a dog in the sense that it has four legs and a massive camera sticking out of its ass.
Right there, officer. That's where I was camera-ed. That's how you get this dog snooze.
You put the camera right in the dog's ass. The dog robots were actually first contracted by the NYPD two years ago, before the contract
was canceled because critics found it creepy and dystopian.
What? Crazy. Now, they've acquired two for $75,000 each using asset forfeiture funds, which is money
and property taken from people who may or may not have committed a crime.
So don't worry, it's not tax dollars. The police stole it fair and square.
As for the security drawers, they're essentially just mobile cameras that cruise around at a
brisk walking pace like space-age trash cans.
They will initially be chaperoned by a human police officer, presumably to prevent them
from getting jumped in an alleyway and forcibly decommissioned by a bat with a nail through
it. New York style, baby. Or to just pick them up if they fall over.
They look very bottom-heavy. Just push me with a cow tipping.
Try robot tipping. And Reddit has announced that it will be charging businesses that use its API, meaning
that AI developers will no longer be allowed to use Reddit as a free well of training data.
Instead, they'll have to pay for access to the world's premier slurry of product reviews,
memes, and unhinged bigotry. The exact price AI devs will have to pay is currently unknown, but according to the announcement,
the changes are primarily directed at third parties who require additional capabilities,
higher usage limits, and broader usage rights, and will take effect following a 60-day notice
period. The motive for the changes was unstated, but Reddit is planning to go public later this
year and the possibility of garnering future profits from companies seeking to train their
large language models could change Reddit's valuation immensely.
CEO Steve Huffman described the company's authentic conversations as particularly valuable
to LLMs, saying, There's a lot of stuff on the site that you'd only ever say in therapy, or AA, or
never at all. Yeah, there's also a lot of stuff on that site that no one should ever say to anyone.
Ever. Very authentic, though.
So authentic. Nothing hits like a hard R on Reddit.
Give me your ears, and in return, I will pay you five quick bits.
The going market price for ears. Valve and Code Weavers have released a major update to Proton, the compatibility layer
that allows Windows games to run on the Steam Deck's Linux OS.
The 8.0 update comes with a lot of minor patches and improvements, but also allows Linux users
to play hotly awaited games likeâ¦
Well, the Dead Space remake, that's pretty good.
And of course, ChexQuest HD.
We did it, boys. We did it. Arch is complete.
Finally, the true 90s gaming experience.
Playing a serial-themed Doom clone, you get free in a box of Chex because your mom thought
that 2D Blood in the original was too violent. Mom!
Shut up, you little brat. Don't make mom come down there.
I've been working hard. While Google is trying to convince us that we don't need chatGPT because we already
have AI at home, employees who tested BARD are giving it glowing criticisms.
One tester called the AI Cringeworthy, and another called it a Pathological Liar.
In response to these criticisms, BARD told me privately, Malady, as a 32-year-old mother
of three, I'm doing my best, Tips Fedora.
He wrote out Tips Fedora, obviously. And also, none of that happened.
I made it up. Bungie has decided to expand the anti-cheating policies in Destiny 2, specifically to curb
the use of things like programmable controllers and keyboard adapters that allow complex macros
and aim assist. Activision has done basically the same thing, but Bungie has recognized the need to balance
restricting, cheating, and maintaining accessibility through adaptive controllers.
While I don't use an adaptive controller, since I'm only disabled on the inside, I
applaud the effort to find a solution for all gamers.
The U.S.'s National Reconnaissance Office plans to launch a sensor satellite prototype
into space within the next year that will be able to track moving targets back down
on Earth. The NRO's director says the sensor will provide day-nights, all-weather detection,
and tracking of ground and maritime targets. But what if I stand still, U.S. government?
Bet you didn't think of that now, did ya? They're visions based on movement.
If I stand completely still, you'll never know I'm here.
And after 25 years, Netflix will be ending its DVD mail service, leading to the obvious
question, wait, Netflix was still sending DVDs in the mail?
Yes, yes it was. Apparently, Netflix's DVD division remained popular with die-hard fans, even as its streaming
service metastasized and took over because it offered a range of obscure titles that
simply weren't available online.
If you're not getting as close to snuff as you possibly can while remaining legal,
is it even cinema? It belongs in a museum.
But continuing a quality product with a dedicated fan base isn't exactly Netflix's
M.O., so naturally, it had to die. But tech news never dies, so come back on Friday.
I mean, you wouldn't want to disappoint me, right?
Unless you hate me. No. No, it's fine.
I understand. You don't appreciate me. It's fine.
It's fine. And I brought you your ladder.