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You aren't going to believe this, but there's been some tech news recently.

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Don't worry. We plan for this. It's just like the simulations.

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This is a simulation. Google seems to have a monster under its bed named ChatGPT.

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The recent launch of the popular AI chatbot has set off alarms at Google, causing the

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company to call in its dads for help. Larry Page and Sergey Brin, the founders of Google and controlling shareholders of the

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parent company Alphabet, have come back to the company after having left their daily

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roles back in 2019, also known as the Before Times.

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To do whatever men under 50 with unlimited money can do, which is literally anything.

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The pair were invited by current CEO Sundar Pichai last month to offer advice and pitch

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ideas. Google plans to launch over 20 AI products by the end of the year, including a demo version

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of its search engine with chatbot features.

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This is very exciting news for the company's AI division, and everyone but the 12,000 people

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in other departments who are being laid off by Google do allegedly two economic downturn.

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It's robots. The company is also facing several antitrust lawsuits, which is the opposite of trust from

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Epic and Match LLC, as well as the US Department of Justice.

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All this pressure could end up hurting Google bad, especially if Bing can implement chatbot

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features first, and someone notices.

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DuckDuckGo has when it just says, turn off your computer.

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Twitter has officially banned third-party clients, but why should we care about third?

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Bronze is a subpar metal that went out of style 3,000 years ago.

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And yet, while that is completely true, Twitter may have not been super upfront about how

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or why they were doing this. The official Twitter dev account said that the platform was enforcing its long-standing

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API rules, and then neglected to, you know, name a rule.

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Then yesterday, Engadget noticed that Twitter had added a clause to the developer agreement

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that banned the ability to use or access the licensed materials to create or attempt to

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create a substitute or similar service or product to the Twitter applications.

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The company that made Twitter-ific, the third-party client that actually coined the term tweet,

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released a blog post saying that the social platform has become a Twitter that we no

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longer recognize as trustworthy, or worth coming up with fun colloquialisms for.

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That's not part of the quota. In a fun coincidence, that same Twitter, now owned by Elon Musk, also known as Buffalo

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Bill Dodger, is being sued for refusing to pay the consulting firm that assisted in the

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lawsuit the company launched against Musk when he tried to back out of buying it.

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That is amazing. I tried coming up with an analogy for the situation, but it's just too wacky.

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The situation is the joke itself. It befuddles analogies.

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And the Secure Boot feature on at least 300 MSI motherboards is not working as intended,

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depending on who's doing the intending. For the uninitiated, I almost said unintended, Secure Boot is a feature in motherboard firmware

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that ensures PC's only boot software that is trusted by the motherboard manufacturer.

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However, security researcher David Putaki discovered hundreds of MSI motherboards would

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let just any old software boot. Motherboards have no standard these days, but don't worry, MSI has responded to the

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findings and according to them, it's working flawlessly.

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The manufacturer said they added a second setting called Image Execution Policy that

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is set to always execute software by default, even though Secure Boot is enabled.

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They said the default always execute setting is to offer a user-friendly environment, which

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makes perfect sense. Think of how user-friendly it would be to not have a front door.

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You could just walk right into your house and not have to lock anything when you leave

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and when you're really mad, no one knows.

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And your counters are super clean because everyone stole your stuff? You got nothing to apologize for.

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Minimalism. According to WCCF Tech, this behavior may not be isolated to MSI.

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They claim that ASUS and Gigabyte boards may also have issues with securing their boot.

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I guess no one knows how to tie their shoes anymore. Might as well be slip-ons!

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That never made it in frame, but I almost hit the camera. Now I'm taller on one side.

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Fails all around when nerds try to throw.

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Our quick bits are guaranteed to get right through your defenses and attack your funny

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bones. Before you poop and melt. How humorous is that?

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U.S. mobile provider T-Mobile has admitted they were hacked.

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Well, they admitted some of it to some people.

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In a press release, the company stated the breach was shut down within 24 hours of being

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detected. What they didn't mention there, but they did mention in an SEC filing was that the data

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of 37 million customers was hacked and that the breach wasn't detected for over a month.

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But once they detected it, now you have a reason to switch to AT&T that doesn't involve

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an unhealthy obsession with the women from their ads. Leave Lily alone, guys.

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It's worth getting a VPN in Canada for. Speaking of SEC filings, Yum Brands, the parent company of KFC, Taco Bell, and other

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toilet runers, admitted they also had data stolen.

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They suffered an attack from a ransomware gang so bad over 300 locations in the UK were

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forced to shut down. Thankfully, all locations are back up and running, so you can panic eat fried chicken

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as you wait for something to hack you.

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Chris Fix, a German repair service that was sent 48 Radeon RX 6000 cards with cracked GPUs

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in a matter of weeks, thinks they may have figured out just what happened.

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After determining most of the cards were bought second hand, the repair shop posted a video

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explaining that they believe the cards were sold by crypto miners and somehow water got

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trapped under the chip and that expanded when the card got hot.

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Chris Fix thinks they were stored in a human environment while Reddit thinks they were

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hosed down by miners before sale like in that viral clip.

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Some Vietnamese miners have cleaned up their old graphics cards after Ethereum merged by

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bathing them with extremely high risk. You gotta ask yourself what's more important, a clean card or a card that doesn't explode?

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That's a tough one. It's like free fireworks. Gotta keep it clean.

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Explosions, though. Back on the menu, baby.

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Melting 4090s are back in the news because Cablemod's 12 volt high power cable has now

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gotten a little extra kishby. Reddit user HumbleBrilliant654 posted pictures of the cable on the site and thankfully Cablemod

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has promised to replace the product.

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Humble swore that he inserted the cable into the GPU properly and that he had been using

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it for two months. Or you know, someone's lying on Reddit.

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So that's crazy. They would get downvoted.

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As a 16 year old girl, I can tell you Reddit's honest.

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16F Kali. And Wizards of the Coast have finally apologized for trying to release a new, worse version

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of the current open gaming license, which allows creators to make and publish content

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for the Dungeons and Dragons RPG. Just after Pathfinder publisher Pezzo announced 1500 companies have pledged their support

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for the OGL alternative, the open RPG Creative License, or ORC, we're calling it ORC, Wizards

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of the Coast said that they would no longer deauthorize the earlier version of the open

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gaming license, except that they still are just not for content already published under

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the earlier version. I guess that's a half lie, which is only half as bad as their last statement.

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So at least they're improving. Half elf, half orc, half ling.

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Half ling. Half demigod. Demi-more.

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And our tech news coverage is improving every episode, so make sure you come back on Monday.

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There may be kittens. Orc kittens.

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Just corkins? Durable, brutish kittens. They're so cute and strong.

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The time of the kitten has ended. The time of the orc is now. Me, meow.

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Now it's the time of the orc.