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Hey, you know what nobody has ever said? I want less Zilla.

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There's too much Zilla around here. The Mozilla Foundation, ha ha.

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The parent organization of the Mozilla Company, purveyors of the world's fifth most popular web browser,

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is eliminating its global programs and advocacy divisions.

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That advocacy was centered on fighting for a free and open internet,

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something that hasn't really gotten less important recently.

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While the Foundation says that this is a fight that remains core to their mission,

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they are revisiting how they pursue that work.

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This restructuring comes with layoffs for 30% of Mozilla's roughly 120 employees,

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that's a lot, which is actually the second round of layoffs this year, following 60 job losses

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on the company side in February. All in all, it's a significant loss in capacity,

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and there isn't an obvious successor to take up the advocacy slack.

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Chrome's too busy waging a war against ad block extensions,

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and Edge acknowledges neither the law of God nor man.

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Edge's just gonna edge, ha ha. Not all hope is lost, however,

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as the internet archive is once again archiving webpages

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following a month-long hiatus due to a cyberattack.

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Users will once again be able to capture important, but ephemeral webpages

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using the archives save page now feature. The internet archive also says that the backlog

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of pages requested by users while the archive was down

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are now being processed. It's not entirely clear why the internet archive

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has become such a target for hackers, given that it's not affiliated with any government,

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and it doesn't have a lot of spare cash. This is like getting mad at the global world order,

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so you set fire to a community center. Lawn bully kinda coming.

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Reviews are in for AMD's Ryzen 7 9800 X3D,

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and so far, it sounds like Dr. Lisa Sue has a chart-topping new single on her hands.

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Rasin' up. The 9800 X3D blows Intel's new top-of-the-line chips

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out of the water, and by new top-of-the-line chips, I mean the one from last gen.

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Ba-doom. All right. Pretty much every review is singing this chip's praises,

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but Hardware Unboxed saw it get up to 26.5% better

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than the Core i9-14900K, and 33% better than the Core Ultra 9 285K.

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See how that works? It's not just gaming though, there are also some pretty significant

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productivity improvements. You're gonna be able to run so many instances

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of Banzai Buddy. Of course, the big change that has allowed for this show-stopping performance

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is the addition of that 3D V-Cache, even more so than AMD's first gen 3D V-Cache,

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which was placed on top of the die, causing potential cooling issues.

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Now, the cache is under the processor, meaning you can even overclock this thing,

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which they already said. If that's not enough, you might be interested to know

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that Zhang Zhang Hao, a reliable source of hardware leaks,

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says that their supply chain contacts confirm

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that AMD is working on an X3D version of a Zen 5 threadripper.

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Further, the next generation Strix Halo APUs

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will likely see 3D V-Cache upgrade as well

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on the more high-end AMD laptops.

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Honestly, this would be a completely happy story if it wasn't for Pat Gelsinger

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standing at the back of this room, manfully refusing to cry.

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And womanfully and childrenfully. And even fully want.

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Jarvis, Google's rumored AI agent that can use your computer for you,

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has been officially confirmed thanks to reliable leaker, Google,

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who accidentally published an internal preview on the Chrome web browser extension store.

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It's been taken down, but you didn't miss out on much.

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The current build doesn't have the right access permissions yet, so users who downloaded it weren't able to get it to work.

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Google planned to publicly reveal Jarvis in December

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alongside its next big LLM release, but you know how it is.

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It's only the first week of November, but you're already hearing Mariah Carey.

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Jarvis, whose name is almost certainly inspired by Tony Stark's AI Butler,

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is intended to be a helpful online assistant that can collect information, do your shopping,

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or book travel tickets. That being said, if you've ever had

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an Instacart shop or replace your Krimini mushrooms with a big bag of jumbo marshmallows,

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you can probably guess that these kinds of simple tasks can turn out to be quite a bit more complex in practice.

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It's also notable that literally every big company with skin in the AI game

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is doing the exact same thing right now. Anthropic AI agent, open AI, AI agent, Microsoft,

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first party spyware that takes picture every three seconds for your own good,

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but it's cool this time. You know what else is cool? Our sponsor.

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You know why they're called quick bits, right? It's because they contain baking soda

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as a leavening agent instead of yeast. This is a joke about quick breads like banana breads.

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I promise this is funny to people who cook. Thank you, Jessica.

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It helps me if I imagine a cooking person on the other end of the screen going,

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I'm, pfft, what? Upgrading your MacBook's SSD is possible once again

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thanks to repair YouTuber iBofRCC,

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who created a custom PCB add-on and swappable SSD modules

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to replace soldered-on storage in MacBooks with M-Series processors.

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The module design isn't completely finalized yet, and once installed, you need a second Mac

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to run Apple Configurator to complete the setup, but that might not be a problem for Apple fans,

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especially any who might have just bought a second Mac Mini

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when they discovered doing that cost the same as upgrading the RAM and storage.

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But come on, Apple's gotta pay their engineers to do their job worse than some random guy on YouTube.

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Meta says they have found a way to keep teens from lying about their age on Instagram.

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It's an AI-powered tool the company calls an adult classifier, which sounds less like a tool

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for finding teens and more like a BuzzFeed quiz. Which Stanley Cup represents you?

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Instagram introduced teen accounts in September, which have stronger default privacy settings.

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The adult classifier will apparently sort users into one of two groups, older or younger

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than 18, based on those users' own account data

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like their profile and what content they interact with. Unfortunately, after being exposed to thousands

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of 30-year-old Transformers enthusiasts, the classifier exploded.

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You're welcome. Steam's game recording feature is now out of beta,

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meaning it's available to all sigmas like me.

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The feature allows users to record gameplay without leaving the app.

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Even non-Steam games can be recorded as long as they allow Steam overlay to run.

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In more good news, the Steam Deck will finally be available in Australia on November 19th.

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Finally, young impressionable Australians won't be participating in shady back alley deals

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where they purchase smuggled Steam decks with their hard-earned dimmies and chicken salt.

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Now they can send their dimmies and chicken salt to me instead, please.

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Gotta send them some soy sauce. It's been ages since I had some dimmies.

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Got the rumblies. A YouTuber made an e-bike battery

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using 130 used disposable vapes

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to make a point about e-waste. Chris Dole took the individual batteries out of the vapes

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and converted them into a 48-volt 1500-watt battery

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that powered an e-bike for more than 20 miles with almost no pedaling.

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Of course, it wasn't that easy to get his hands on 130 discarded vapes.

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He had to collect them at places like a music festival.

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Just a single music festival had hundreds of littered batteries

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that could explode if damaged. Was getting rid of cigarettes a bad idea?

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We're saving the kids' lungs, but at what cost? Are we?

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And the FTC has sued Dave.

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Sorry, not the guy in your fantasy football league, although that son of a bitch has it coming.

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Dave the Banking app specializing in cash advances.

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The FTC says Dave misled customers, charged hidden fees,

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and made canceling memberships unreasonably difficult. In an official response,

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Dave said the lawsuit was regulatory overreach,

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possibly in between swigs of Pab's blue ribbon. If you let it get warm, it tastes like piss.

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This is stupid, man. Dave thinks the government should leave him

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and his friends alone, including banking apps with normal guy names,

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and these are real, Marcus, Frank, Finn, and Mr. Cooper.

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You leave Cooper alone! You leave Cooper out of this! I'm picturing these as kids in like an 80s adventure movie,

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and Mr. Cooper is like the older role model for the little gaggle of young-

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Guys, we gotta get Cooper out of jail! So close. Now how about you be a role model

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for the rest of the audience and come back on Friday for more tech news?

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Sure, we're just using the tech news as an excuse to write silly things that make us giggle,

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but you can't argue the news isn't in there. This is a business.