Hey guys, are you ready for the tech news? No?
Too bad! Samsung held their Galaxy Unpacked event today,
conveniently in Paris, where their 30,000 striking workers are not.
Samsung launched the Galaxy Z Fold 6 and Flip 6,
both of which are quite similar to their predecessors, but with a $100 price hike and new AI features.
The Galaxy Watch 7 boasts a new processor and AI health tracking,
while the Galaxy Watch Ultra looks so much like the Apple Watch Ultra
that Samsung should probably order a paternity test. I don't know why, but I thought that I was going to hear
like mori voices from over there. And you are not the father!
The new design for the Galaxy Buds 3 and 3 Pro, likewise, take clear influence from Apple's AirPods
in the same way that school kids occasionally take influence
from their neighbors' answers during tests. Today also marked the official launch
of Samsung's newest wearable smart device, the Galaxy Ring,
which Samsung is primarily positioning as a health and fitness tracker.
Think of it like a smartwatch, but smaller and it goes on your finger.
This is far from the first smart ring on the market, but Samsung is the first major tech company to offer one,
which raises the probability that someone will try to propose with a ring
that tracks the user's heartbeat and menstrual cycle. You definitely shouldn't do that, but hey, you can now.
Microsoft has stepped down from its short-lived observer seat on OpenAI's board.
Apple, which only recently earned its right in a similar seat, will apparently be doing the same.
A big motivator appears to be the increased regulatory scrutiny
on the AI industry in general and on Microsoft's relationship with OpenAI in particular.
While the European Commission dropped its probe into Microsoft and OpenAI back in June,
that doesn't mean the danger of a full-blown antitrust investigation
has entirely passed in the EU or the US.
Of course, Microsoft has only stated that observer position is no longer necessary
as OpenAI's new board has made significant progress
since Microsoft's representative joined in November. Instead, OpenAI plans to hold regular meetings
with all of its investors, which just so happens to include Apple and Microsoft.
In another move, possibly intended to reduce regulatory scrutiny in the United States,
OpenAI has blocked access to its services in China.
To be clear, the Chinese government already had blocked OpenAI via its extensive firewall,
but some Chinese developers were nonetheless accessing OpenAI tools using VPNs.
It's like how your ex technically has you blocked on social media,
but you've gotta be the one to block that sock puppet account
that she uses to check whether you've started dating again. An online mob of Pennsylvania middle schoolers
has been implicated in the mass cyberbullying of around 20 teachers at their school.
It was discovered that the children had created 22 fake TikTok accounts
impersonating their teachers using clips and images from those teachers' personal social media accounts.
Many were edited to include lewd and offensive jokes
and even implications of sexual misconduct and criminal behavior proving once again
that eighth graders are the meanest people in the world.
While some of these posts might be protected from government action under the children's
right to free speech, undisclosed impersonation and parody is against TikTok's terms of service,
and thus the accounts were quickly taken down. Several students were temporarily suspended
and worse, their parents were notified. At least some of the affected teachers
claim that the incident has made them question their career and education and the effect
that social media has had on the children's capacity for empathy.
However, some of us here remember going to school in the 90s and early 2000s in order to inform them
that 13 year olds have always been monsters and are rarely restrained by the laws of God or man.
Well, what's a quick bit? Well, the QU stands for quantum.
Well, the rest stands for ick bits. Multiple governments have secretly restricted
the export of quantum computers with identical regulations.
It's likely because quantum mechanics involves a mysterious force that politicians fear
because they don't understand it. I believe it's called math.
Though if you ask some of the countries that have these restrictions, like the UK, Spain, Canada,
and more, they'll tell you that it's a national security
concern, a powerful technology that could benefit society.
But in the wrong hands, it could cause massive harm to nations and their citizens.
Fair enough, multiple governments, but did you hear about this AI thing though?
I can't wait till middle schoolers are using quantum computers to bully their teachers.
Hell yeah. This folding keyboard contains an entire Ryzen 7 PC
thanks to a Chinese company and doorbell on a monopia.
Ling long. While you can plug in any display with USB-C,
the manufacturer apparently recommends AR or VR glasses.
The onboard Ryzen 7 8840U is powerful enough for some gaming,
but the battery can take only about four hours of that.
It's not available yet, but just imagine the power move it'll be in the future to pull out a pair of AR glasses
and a full keyboard when someone tries to initiate conversation on the bus.
According to a new Business Insider report, Tesla apparently gives special weight to training data
of its self-driving cars when it comes to certain VIPs,
including YouTubers, online influencers, and Elon Musk himself.
Moreover, both current and former Tesla employees claim
that they were told to focus more resources on routes frequently driven by these VIPs,
meaning that Tesla's autopilot probably navigates those routes much better than it does on the average road.
This means that as a Tesla owner, one of your best ways to improve your driving experience
is to secretly live in Elon Musk's attic or become an influencer.
It's been a rocky rollout for Google's Find My Device Network with its users complaining
that it isn't great at finding stuff, but Google claims that their network only sucks
because of a one-of-a-kind default privacy protection option called not actually tracking you,
or in nerd words, aggregation by default. This means that trackers only ping locations
when connected to many devices instead of just one
to prevent unwanted tracking. Noble for sure, but that doesn't help with Google's reputation
of being completely useless when it comes to search. And UK politician slash real human Mark Matlock
wants to know that he is not AI.
A tweet went viral questioning the humanness of his gorgeous smooth skin, thick, wiry hair,
and musky baby trapped inside the flesh of a grown man.
Good looks. Not helping the AI allegations, he was a no-show at the election.
Turns out he is real, but he was homesick with pneumonia,
which he claims was treated with vitamins and exercise.
Ironically, the exact kind of horrible health advice I'd expect to be given from chat GPT.
In defense of the original tweet, there was an actual AI candidate who ran
on Brighton named AI Steve. Unsurprisingly, AI Steve was not elected
and received fewer votes than the citizen skeweth of the monster-raving Looney party.
And frankly, you'd have to be a monster-raving Looney to not come back on Friday for more tech news.
Have a good day, bye, subscribe, like.