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Hey, I know you've been quietly weeping because you have a job and a cat and you weren't able

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to fly to Taiwan to get all your Computex news, but we've got something for you right here.

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Come on. It's good. AMD has finally announced their Ryzen 9000 series of CPUs will be dropping

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in July, as well as some other goodies during their opening keynote at Computex in Taiwan.

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AMD claims the new chips offer an average performance gain of 12% over last generation,

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while also being more power efficient. So far, so AMD. According to Team Red's numbers, the

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flagship Ryzen 99950X apparently outperforms Intel's current Core i9-14900K flagship by an

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average of 11% in gaming and 21% in productivity tasks, which I don't do, I procrastinate.

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The 9000 series will fit into AMD's AM5 CPU socket, and it seems future chips will as well,

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while AMD previously stated that they will support AM5 until at least 2025.

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They've now upped that commitment to at least 2027, but that doesn't mean that they forgot about

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UAM4 users. No, AMD has also announced they'll be launching two brand new Ryzen 5000 desktop

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CPUs three and a half years after originally launching the 5000 series. And even if you're

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looking to upgrade to AM5, AMD's newly announced X870 and X870e motherboard chipsets also support

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older Ryzen 7000 and 8000 chips, providing a little upgrade path for you once AM4 stops

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being supported. I mean, it's eight years old, it's lived a full life, but yeah, just like kids and

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dogs. In even more CPU news, AMD teased their Zen 5 powered Epic server processors, but didn't get

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into too many details, but mentioned it would be compatible with their existing SP5 socket

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that their current Epic chips use, and that it will apparently decimate Intel Xeon processors.

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AMD also also admitted to changing its mobile CPU naming scheme again, confirming the rumored

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Ryzen AI 300 series name. AMD claims they're starting at 300 because it's the third generation

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of mobile chips to come with an NPU, but leaks and rumors point to them just wanting a bigger

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number than Intel's core Ultra 200 series. Guys, it's not the size of your processor,

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it's how you use it. It's the motion of the ocean, baby. It's the squequency of the frequency.

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I'll keep that in. NVIDIA's rivalry with AMD is causing the company to do some very petty things. For starters,

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while AMD was the opening keynote for Computex, NVIDIA CEO Jensen Wong organized his own keynote

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speech, which he gave the day before the event actually started. Computex even added Jensen's

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presentation to the official event calendar to really rub it in. Adding insult to injury was

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that NVIDIA didn't really have anything to say, at least not for your average gamer and tech

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enthusiast. Jensen teased Rubin, the company's next AI chip architecture, before Blackwell has

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even shipped to customers. There was a lot of talk about what AI could do, some of it downright

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frightening. After initially debuting NVIDIA's ace technology as a way to create more interactive

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video game NPCs, Wong now imagines digital humans as something that will revolutionize other industries

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like making digital customer service agents, digital healthcare workers, and other replacements for

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human jobs. Hopefully not mine. There was some news for consumers. The company teased RTX AI PC

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laptops that will eventually enable co-pilot plus features thanks to power efficient systems on a

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chip. What that means is these laptops use AMD CPUs. NVIDIA just didn't want to say that on their own

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site, but they admitted as much to the verge. NVIDIA also claimed that its GPUs could technically run

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co-pilot plus features themselves, but it wouldn't be as efficient. Just take the L, dude.

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There are also some maybe positive AI developments from NVIDIA. Their geosys chatbot can give you

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tips on the game you're playing or even optimize your graphic setting for you. Still no word on an

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AI that can help me find a new job after I get replaced by another AI. In order to access the

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quick bits, please click this checkbox to confirm you're not a robot. If you fell for that, please

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click this box to let us know. Qualcomm also had a keynote at Computex where they teased bringing

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Snapdragon X to desktop. CEO Cristiano Aman said the company's SOCs will bring co-pilot plus to

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all PC form factors. The news was so exciting that Mac guy Justin Long came out of computer

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ad retirement to riff on the Mac commercials he starred in 20 years ago. Long also spoofed his

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Mac ads for Intel three years ago. Sure, Qualcomm is arguably about to kill x86, the CPU architecture

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that put Intel on the map, but at least Intel can take solace knowing they made a mediocre ad

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parody first. ASUS has finally revealed full specs for its ROG Ally X Windows handheld, which

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sports more RAM, more storage, and a bigger battery than the original Ally. It also replaced the weird

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ROG XG mobile port with an additional USB 4 port and has an extra vent to help with thermals,

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and while those are all cool things, what's less cool is ASUS still not confirming the cause of the

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original Ally's SD card reader issue or how many units were affected by it. So you may want to

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remain cautious unless your favorite handheld game is called ASUS Support Line 2 Phantom Liberty.

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Sony will be launching a PSVR 2 to PC adapter on August 7th, likely for around 60 bucks. The

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PSVR 2 natively uses a single USB-C cable, but the adapter will allow it to connect to PC via a

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DisplayPort. DisplayPort cable, not included. The adapter likewise includes USB and HDMI for

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screen capturing and sharing. There are a few caveats. The headset won't have adaptive triggers,

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eye tracking, or HDR on PC. On the bright side, this might actually help Sony move its giant,

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embarrassing mountain of unsold headsets currently gathering dust in a warehouse somewhere.

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Sony's new ACE headphones, their first ever, are due to launch in two days. They're apparently

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well designed, comfortable, and sound great. Which they'd better. That's like Sony's whole thing.

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The headphones can switch seamlessly between two connected Bluetooth devices,

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but some audio files have been disappointed to learn that they can't connect directly to Wi-Fi,

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despite containing a Wi-Fi chip, likely a compromise to preserve battery life.

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Sadly, that could have been the killer feature to distinguish them from other premium headphones,

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especially after the baffling own goal that was neutering the Sonos app four weeks before a major

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product launch. And a Google employee was apparently behind several leaked Nintendo announcements.

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404 Media got their hands on internal Google database full of privacy and security incidents

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from between 2013 and 2018. One of those incidents involved a Google contractor using admin privileges

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to download and watch an unreleased, privated Nintendo trailer on YouTube. This contractor then

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shared a screenshot with a friend who posted it on Reddit. What a friend. In Google's investigation

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of the incident, they determined the leak was non-intentional. These things happen,

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you see an image of Yoshi, your vision goes black, and you're longer in control of yourself.

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We've all been there. But you should control yourself by coming back on Wednesday for more

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tech news. You're compelled.