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It's not every day you get tech news.

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So. Especially this coming Monday. It's a stat holiday so we won't be here.

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Make alternative plans. AMD's Ryzen 7 9800X3D appears to have been sold out at retailers across North America and Europe,

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with even the next batch of pre-orders selling out at German Outlet Mind Factory.

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New eggs said their individual units of the CPU are all gone,

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but they dug around and managed to find some 9800X3D plus motherboard bundles,

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which is not a ploy to sell more inventory. It's a bundle. It came like that. It's a bundle.

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If you missed the boat, it's okay. They'll come back in stock eventually.

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Maybe even before those new economy saving tariffs drop.

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Hopefully they drop after AMD also drops the Ryzen 99950X3D,

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because a leaked factorial benchmark shows it running quite a bit faster than the 9800X3D and

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the 7950X3D. Releasing processors that are better than last gen is a winning strategy for AMD right now,

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whose desktop CPU market share has climbed 10% in the last year, according to Mercury Research.

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Apple appears to be trying the same approach. Reviews for the new MacBook Pros, Mac Mini,

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and iMac are all focusing on features other than the M4 chip, because it's just obviously

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slapping AMD and Intel's competitors, particularly the M4 Pro and Max variants.

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But don't worry, Intel knows they've got work to do.

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In an interview with Hot Hardware, Intel VP Robert Halleck acknowledged that their desktop

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Aero Lake launch didn't go as planned. The company has identified a quote series of issues

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at an OS and a BIOS level, which meant that the performance seen in reviews

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quote was not what we expected, not what we intended.

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Seemingly forgetting about Intel's own benchmarks showing the flagship Core 9 Ultra 285K

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performing worse than its predecessor in games.

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I mean, okay, well, they didn't intend for that to still be the case after the CPUs actually launched.

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Intel may have seen advice from enthusiasts to not trust first party numbers,

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and then applied that to themselves. Aero Lake's middling performance came after a scandal over instability issues in the company's

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Raptor Lake lineup, which has now earned them a class action lawsuit.

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Morale is probably pretty low among Intel employees right now,

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especially after their employer took away their free coffee and tea as a cost-saving measure.

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You know things are bad when. Intel just brought it back, which is either a sign that things are looking up,

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or the shot you give a dying soldier to ease the pain.

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At least we have coffee. Now this next story has some wild turns in it, so hang on.

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A judge has granted a motion filed by meta to dismiss a lawsuit brought against them

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by the man who invented the pop-up ad, Ethan Zuckerman.

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The judge thought a lawsuit titled Zuck V Zuck was just too silly.

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Could one of you switch the Z for a C?

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The lawsuit wasn't about ads. It was a preemptive move to block meta from suing Zuckerman in the future.

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If Zuckerman went through with his plan to release a tool called unfollow everything 2.0,

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which would allow Facebook users to unfollow everything on the platform,

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twice. That's why the two is there. Double tap. Make sure. No, it's 2.0 because there was a 1.0.

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The first unfollow everything was a browser extension released by Lewis Barclay in 2021,

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for which meta called Facebook at the time.

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Banned Barclay from Facebook and Instagram, and threatened a costly legal battle if he didn't take the tool down,

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leading him to write an article in Slate titled Facebook Banned Me For Life

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because I help people use it less. Which, yeah, sounds like what you would expect to happen.

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It's not right. It's just also not shocking. Back to Zuckerman though.

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His lawsuit was novel in that it relied on Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act,

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legislation best known for protecting social media platforms like meta,

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from liability for the content posted by their users.

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But an obscure clause in that section arguably protects the developers

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of third-party content curation tools, like unfollow everything.

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And Zuckerman's lawyers still believe that's true.

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So they'll soon be back with a lawsuit to prevent meta from suing their client,

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to prevent him from suing meta, to prevent meta from suing themselves,

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to prevent me from telling you about our sponsor, but I won't let that.

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Fun fact, it is actually every day that you get quick bits.

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They just only appear in the visible light spectrum when they want you to see them.

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Having apparently run out of other programs to AIFI,

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Microsoft will be adding generative features to Notepad.exe and MS Paint,

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two programs that have been around in roughly the same form since the 1980s.

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Notepad, which got spellcheck, autocorrect, and window tabs earlier this year,

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will now have a feature called Rewrite, which surprise surprise, Rewrites highlighted text.

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Similarly, MS Paint will be getting generative fill and erase features,

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to make your hasty re-edit of a deep-fried meme from the depths of 4chan a more elegant affair.

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But the normies are getting even more AI stuff. Microsoft is also adding an AI support chatbot to Xbox,

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as well as natural language search. Because if there's anything Xbox users know, it's natural language.

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As well as the very unnatural language they use to talk about my mother,

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which I don't appreciate, even if some of it is very clever.

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The Canadian government has ordered TikTok to end operations in the country,

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citing unclear national security concerns.

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To be clear though, this isn't a ban like in the US,

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access to the app for the rank and file isn't going to be affected.

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TikTok will have to shut down its offices in Toronto and Vancouver,

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but everyday Canadians will still have the right to destroy their brains with endless

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Ed Ed and Eddie little dark age edits if they so choose.

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The Australian government meanwhile has proposed a blanket social media ban

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for kids and teens under 16. If passed, the bill could take effect as soon as late next year,

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which is likely because it has cross-partisan support with the opposition liberal party.

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Finally, something to bring us all together.

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Instagram sucks. Law enforcement in Michigan has become concerned after multiple iPhones

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stored for forensic analysis have unexpectedly rebooted themselves

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and locked investigators out. This is despite the phones being disconnected from cellular networks,

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and in at least one case, stored in a Faraday cage.

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Has Apple unlocked teleportation? What's happening?

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Rebooting an iPhone makes it harder to unlock, which believe it or not,

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is the opposite of what the police wanted. Officers apparently believe that iPhones with iOS 18.0

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brought into their forensic lab may have communicated with the other powered on iPhones

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and told them to reboot after a certain period of time.

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Or maybe it was the iPhone Fairy. Make a wish.

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Nintendo has found their next target for a juicy lawsuit,

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a man who streamed pirated and emulated games in Nintendo's defense.

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Sometimes he would stream these games before they were even released.

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We get it, dude. Your uncle is hacking Nintendo. Jesse Kagan, a.k.a. every game guru online,

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has particularly irked the Mario Mafia because their usual tactics of shutting down his streams and channels didn't work.

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Instead, he'd open a new channel on another platform.

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He'd even email Nintendo directly bragging about all his burner accounts,

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saying, we can do this all day.

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We may have just discovered Nintendo's final boss.

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But you'll never discover more tech news if you come back on Monday,

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because again, it's a stat. We are going to be sleeping.

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So come back on Wednesday and you'll discover so much more than you would on Monday, which is nothing.