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Not a lot of people know this, but the tech news is actually mined

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directly from our writer's subconsciouses using an elaborate inception style setup.

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We had to go like three levels deep to get today's news.

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We lost some good men down there. Microsoft's Xbox mode, the full-screen gaming interface

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it originally built for Windows and held as the full-screen experience started rolling out

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to all Windows 11 PCs yesterday. The timing is a little awkward.

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Microsoft killed its, this is an Xbox campaign in March.

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You know, the one insisting your phone and Fire TV stick were already Xboxes

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because it didn't feel like Xbox. Six weeks later, here's a feature

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that makes your laptop feel exactly like an Xbox.

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Xbox mode replaces your traditional desktop with a console-style home screen,

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aggregating your library from multiple stores into one window.

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Once it shows up on your PC, you can flip it on under settings, gaming, Xbox mode,

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or hit the Windows key plus F11 to drop straight in.

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Rollout is gradual and limited to select markets,

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expanding over the coming weeks. So if you don't see it yet, your Windows 11 PC is just being shy.

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It's okay, little guy. You can be an Xbox too.

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It's loud now. Meta is threatening to shut down Facebook, Instagram,

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and WhatsApp in New Mexico if state prosecutors get their way

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in implementing a list of child safety changes

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because they hate children. The threat comes after New Mexico won

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a $375 million dollar lawsuit in March

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with a jury finding Meta liable for exposing children to sexual predators on its platforms.

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I caramba. During the trial, taped depositions showed Facebook CEO

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and man 99% of the way through a fish-to-human transformation,

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Mark Zuckerberg calling harm to kids on his platforms

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and inevitability. Now in a court filing, Meta is arguing that the attorney general's proposed reforms,

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which includes CSAM detection, age verification, and a restriction on end-to-end encryption for minors

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are technologically impractical. According to Meta, the shutdown threat only kicks in

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if the judge sides with the state at the bench trial that begins May 4th, Star Wars Day.

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New Mexico attorney general Raul Torres is unmoved

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calling the threat a PR stunt, truly known in the universe executes PR stunts

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as cringe as Zuckerberg. Speaking of young people and AI,

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minors in the US might not be able to use chatbots

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the same way in the future if a bipartisan bill goes through the legislation

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dubbed the Guard Act, would require AI companies to verify the ages of their users

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in order to bar minors from interacting with AI companions.

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It would also force chatbots to disclose to all users

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that they are not human. They're not, okay?

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The bill follows a number of lawsuits against open AI,

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Google, Microsoft, and Anthropic over LLMs being involved in several instances

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of teen violence and self-harm. The bill cleared committee with a unanimous 22-nothing vote

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and now heads to the Senate floor where it could face pushback from politicians

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who are subject to lobbying by big tech, DeMoney, Texas Senator and retired member

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of the Nazgul Ted Cruz has already introduced

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his own watered down version of the bill in order to protect those innocent AI companies

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against the dark specter of child safety. One thing they won't need protection from,

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gross, is our sponsor. The quick bits are a byproduct of the dream mining process.

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If we don't collect them and read them on air, they undergo catastrophic decompression

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in the dreamer's mind. It's like the Benz, but imaginary, it's messy.

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Chinese GPU maker Lijuan Tech earned Microsoft's

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Windows Hardware Quality Labs driver certification for its upcoming LX7G100,

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a 4060 class gaming card launching in China this month.

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It's the first Chinese firm and only the fourth GPU maker

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to ever clear WHQL after NVIDIA, AMD and Intel.

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The certification is basically a passport into the Windows ecosystem,

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meaning if these cards ever leave China, Western gamers might finally have someone new to root for

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at the budget end of the GPU aisle.

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Ubuntu's website and login servers have been knocked offline since Thursday

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by a sustained DDoS attack from Iran-aligned HackedVis Group 313 team

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who paired the assault with an extortion demand. The group has previously hit Blue Sky and Truth Social,

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fair enough, but Ubuntu's parent company, Canonical,

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is their first major open source target. Bold strategy extorting a company

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whose main product is free to download, but I see you.

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Chinese researchers at the Hefe Institute of Physical Science

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have tested the world's first 10 megawatt truck-mounted nuclear reactor, that's a brand new sentence,

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capable of running for decades on a single fuel load.

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The team is calling it a nuclear power bank and is now shopping it to potential customers

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with potential users including remote islands, ships that could go to remote islands, data centers,

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which could be located on remote islands, and space stations, no connection to the previous.

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They've basically made a USB-C charger the size of a shipping container

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that could also irradiate a small town. Disgraced ex-hardward scientist, Charles Lieber,

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who is one of the world's leading brain-computer interface researchers,

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is rebuilding his lab in China. In 2021, Lieber was convicted of lying to the feds

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about accepting $50,000 a month from a Chinese state talent recruitment program.

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His work is focused on restoring movement in paralyzed people, something the US hates.

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Just joking, but this has the Pentagon concerned

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as the People's Liberation Army wants to use the tech to create super soldiers with better mental agility

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and situational awareness. So good luck to Dr. Lieber and his new career

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and fingers crossed no one kidnaps his dog, forcing him to complete his current character arc

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of becoming a Cold War era state-backed evil super scientist.

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And Huawei unveiled a new version of its X-Pixel headlight tech

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at the Beijing Auto Show, capable of projecting full-color movies

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onto walls in front of a parked car, debuting on the 80M9 with more EVs to follow.

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The system can project interactive games for kids on the pavement like hopscotch.

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Finally, a car designed to let your kids play directly in front of it while it's running.

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This is what we've been missing. The kids are too soft.

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Bobby, go jump in front of that car. It's meant for it.

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And you should jump back in front of the tech news on Monday.

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That's our show. That's everything we pulled out of the writers' heads today. All the tech news, at least.

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There was an ungodly amount of Stomp and Tom Conner's lyrics in there, though.

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But those are for the weekend.