Tech news is important. Without it, many people would think RAM was just a pickup truck brand Sam Elliott can't stop talking about.
J.D. Power & Associates best truck ever. Now here's a RAM you can't drive.
Apple may have decided to increase the minimum RAM specs for MacBooks from 8GB to 16GB,
perhaps in an effort to join the rest of us in this decade.
I'm sorry, the good news was provided by none other than Mark Gurman.
He claims that each of the four new M4-powered Macs being tested by everyone's favorite inedible fruit company, Inedible?
Did we try eating the MacBook? Okay. The new Macs have either 16GB or 32GB of RAM.
Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like these will be seen at Apple's upcoming now confirmed event on September 9th,
which Gurman says will be dedicated to the new iPhone 16 as well as watches and AirPods.
While that all sounds like classic Apple, Gurman has also stated the company wants to expand beyond the iPhone.
So naturally, they've started working on robots. That's the obvious.
Apparently, this is where Apple put a lot of its resources after canning its self-driving car project.
And now the company hopes robotics will help it break even further into the smart home market, but not break into homes.
That's different. A vital part of that seems to be the development of an AI personality.
You know, something that will make their rumored iPad on a robot ARM feel less like an iPad on a robot ARM and more like a friend.
A friend that's an iPad on a robot ARM. On a robot ARM.
Is this a robot ARM holding a little guy?
Hey guy, what do you want to do? Turn up the volume? Okay.
Telegram CEO Pavel Durov has been arrested by French authorities because of his platform's lack of moderation,
which law enforcement believes has allowed cybercrime, drug trafficking, and more to occur.
They're not sure though. It could be either of them.
Telegram has released a statement saying Durov has nothing to hide.
Frankly, I believe them because Durov recently confessed he has over 100 children thanks to his enthusiastic sperm donation.
He just volunteered that information. He also posted this shirtless photo online, which I believe was taken just moments before he tried to get that sand dune in the background pregnant.
101 children, let's go! He watched Denise movies and he just got real excited.
What's weird about this whole situation is that Telegram isn't actually a great private messaging app.
As pointed out by many, such as Professor Matthew Green of Johns Hopkins University,
Telegram isn't encrypted by default. You actually have to go into the settings to turn on the secret chats option for every private chat you want to have.
And even if you do so, it only encrypts one-on-one conversations, not group chats.
It also doesn't work if the person you want to chat with isn't online when you activate secret chats.
Really? Wow. All in all, it seems like a terrible app for doing crimes.
Zero out of ten. Microsoft just can't seem to decide what the hell it wants to do with Windows 11.
Just last week, Twitter user PhantomOfEarth discovered a Windows support page for hot patches,
updates that don't require a restart.
What? That's crazy, most of you are probably thinking.
The rest of you are Linux users. I didn't know that.
Linux master race indeed. I want that market share keep going up.
Unfortunately for those hoping for Windows to catch up to GNU slash Linux,
thank you, Jacob. Microsoft pulled the article two days after it was discovered.
Probably because that article sounded less like a guide about hot patches and more like a guide on how to write a good Windows support article.
Because it seems like someone started a Windows support article from a template
and containing instructions about how to write a good support article. And then changed the title and nothing else.
This isn't the only time this week Microsoft has walked back a radical Windows change.
The company has seemingly also backtracked on getting rid of the control panel.
Last week, a support article was changed to say that the control panel app
was in the process of being deprecated in favor of the settings app.
But now it just says that many of the control panel features are being migrated to the settings app.
So they're delaying the murder until they make the settings app good.
Which should only take like forever because they've already gone backwards with the Windows 11 settings app.
Windows 10 settings app's better. I don't understand. What are these modules?
Toggles? Ah! Meanwhile, I've been waiting forever to make this sick pass.
Everyone knows what it's called when you're down with the sickness.
But when you're down with the quickness, that's called quick bits.
Oklahoma City Police are using AI-powered software to turn body cam audio into police reports.
This sounds like a great idea. The software, Draft One, is sold by Axon, formerly Taser International.
Yes, that Taser, who are likewise the number one supplier of police body cameras in the United States.
Now, at least in theory, the AI's output is only intended as a first draft
that is then reviewed and edited by a police officer.
Both because the officer may have to testify in court, but also because it would be really bad if somebody went to jail over a detail an AI just made up.
And then he borrowed the pool noodle. Ha ha ha ha ha.
And then he turned into a pool noodle. A quartet of Intel's most experienced CPU architects have founded their own damn chip startup
with Blackjack and open source architectures.
The startup, called Ahead Computing, one word, will focus on risk five based processors
and clearly not branding and marketing. That's a little harsh.
But that's fair. They're not marketing people. They're chip people rumored to have been working on Intel's transformative royal core design
before getting fed up and leaving the company a couple weeks before 15% of its workforce got the axe.
See, they're smart. Just, just not with branding.
Ahead computing. Where do I put the emphasis?
Amazon is a joint employer of their delivery drivers,
according to the National Labor Relations Board, America's federal labor regulator,
who issued the determination after a year long investigation.
Amazon has maintained that the people wearing Amazon uniforms and driving Amazon branded delivery vans
were exclusively employees of the tech giant's delivery service partners.
Like if Amazon was on TV and Maury said, You are not the employer.
They'd be like, woo, I'm free. I told you.
But now that the government says Amazon is a joint employer,
they have to bargain with driver unions over their working conditions.
Like add an onboard toilet, maybe. Or like a boot. A better pee bottle.
A big Amazon branded pee bottle. Products made by Chinese PC hardware manufacturer Deepcool
are being rebranded on marketplace sites, seemingly to dodge US sanctions.
Two months ago, the US State Department sanctioned Deepcool after the company was apparently caught doing business with Russian companies involved in the Ukraine war.
Something that's neither very deep nor very cool.
Now, YouTuber Greg Salazar has found Deepcool and other brands sold on Amazon
under the name Shaking Tank. That sounds like it's malfunctioning.
It's the off-brand shark tank. Can you make a pitch while you're being jostled?
It's not clear who's selling them, but I do know that selling sanctioned air coolers is ironically
one of the least cool crimes I've heard of. And NASA has officially decided that its Boeing Starliner spacecraft
will return to Earth without its crew, due to the risk posed by a problem with its thrusters.
The two astronauts who rode up on Starliner, who have been sitting on the ISS like a pair of kids whose non-custodial parent
forgot to pick them up from soccer practice since June 6th,
will need to spend another six months as crew onboard the ISS
before they can return to Earth aboard a SpaceX Crew Dragon spacecraft.
Congratulations to Boeing for making an Elon Musk-led company
into the sane, responsible alternative. But the most responsible alternative is if you come back on Wednesday for more tech news.
What? Would you rather not have tech news abandon me?
In my time of need? For shame, sir!
Please. Um, please come back.