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The tech news is a microscopic life form that resides in all technological objects.

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They continually speak to us, telling us the wheel of computers.

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I know it was Qui-Gon, but you can't do a Qui-Gon in print.

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Ah, I'm Liam Neeson. It doesn't work. Google is walking back their plan to lock down sideloading on Android.

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In August, the company announced that starting next year, Android users would only be able to install apps made by verified developers,

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even for apps not listed on the Play Store, which critics said would seriously hinder indie devs, emulator projects,

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and that one guy on GitHub who ports doom to everything.

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What about that guy? Who's gonna verify him?

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Now, Google says that experienced users will still be able to install apps from wherever they want,

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even from unverified developers, although it'll take a few extra steps,

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a handful of warnings, and swearing you're not gonna blame Google

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when your phone mysteriously starts speaking in tongues.

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I don't think anyone's gonna understand that at all.

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This is like an alternate universe where the Holy Spirit is malware.

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According to Google's blog post, the idea is to curb malware without completely shutting

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the door on Android's openness, which has always been one of its defining features.

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The change is a response to heavy pushback from developers, industry groups,

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and everyday users who didn't love Google deciding for them what trusted means.

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So yeah, sideloading is back, baby, just with training wheels.

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And when those come off, I guess that's when we really learn what malware feels like,

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like a concrete skin burn, skin burn?

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What do you call it? Road rash. That's how I learned not to longboard down hills with no protective equipment.

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Vine the 67, 67 video app.

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Oh man, we have to leave that in. Vine, the six second video app shut down by Twitter in 2017,

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is back at it again at Krispy Kreme in the form of a new app called Divine,

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complete with a sizable chunk of the original video library.

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The app was created by former Twitter employee Evan Henshaw Plath, aka Rabble,

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while working for Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey's Not for Profit and Other Stuff.

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He didn't work for Jack Dorsey's Not for Profit and also for Other Stuff,

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the Not for Profit's called and Other Stuff. Okay, using data previously stored by archive team, which is again a separate entity,

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not the same as the archive.org team. Okay, Rabble was able to restore 150 to 200,000 original vines from 60,000 creators,

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who can contact him if they want to take control of their reconstructed accounts.

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Wow. And it seems like he's hoping that they will.

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Divine breaks from its short form video brethren, like TikTok,

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by banning AI generated content. It'll use tech from the human rights non-profit, The Guardian Project,

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to confirm that a clip was truly captured on a smartphone.

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If Divine spots AI slop, it'll yell,

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is that a weed? And call the police, not on a microwave.

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So with Divine, when you say, look at all those chickens, be assured that while you might not actually be pointing at chickens,

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you certainly won't be pointing at AI chickens.

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And that's all we want at the end of the day. Anthropic is in the spotlight after alleging that Chinese state-linked hackers used their

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Claude Chatbot to try and hack into 30 of what Anthropic calls critical organizations.

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And some of those intrusions actually succeeded, supposedly.

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According to Anthropic, attackers fed Claude detailed prompts,

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giving it tasks like finding vulnerabilities on selected targets,

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exploiting them, and even harvesting data. Claude was apparently able to oblige them,

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but it also hallucinated portions of its results,

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meaning that the world's first AI-orchestrated cyber espionage campaign

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included completely fictional cybersecurity threats. It's like staging a heist with that one overconfident guy who points at every wall and says,

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there's a safe behind that, and there isn't.

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Anthropic claimed the attack was up to 90% autonomous,

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a figure that a ton of other researchers immediately questioned,

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arguing that white hat hackers haven't been able to coax Claude into doing anything close

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to what's described here, so it's unlikely the spy ring actually reached near full autonomy.

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Still, the fact that an LLM could meaningfully assist at all is probably raising the blood

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pressure of IT admins across the world, especially given how friendly these chatbots seem to be

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when you talk to them, but at least for now, this is less like Claude the black hat,

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and more like Claude the dunce cap.

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Man, that was a burn that's almost as sick as our sponsor.

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Now, if the long bits, we just did, are the original trilogy,

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then the quick bits are the prequels. There's a lot more stuff jammed in there, and they're harder to understand.

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Firefox is building what it calls an AI window, which is like an AI browser mode

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that is kept separate from your normal tabs, kind of like a private slash incognito window.

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In it, you'll be able to chat with an AI assistant and get help while you browse,

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but only if you want, because you can totally ignore this feature and not use it if you're

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prejudiced against clankers. Mozilla is asking their community to help shape this feature by signing up to test it

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and then give feedback. Seems like Mozilla is trying to keep up with all the trending AI browsers

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while still protecting their users' privacy, like me in the shallow end at a pool party.

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I'm present, I'm there, but I don't want to drown.

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I'm sorry, there's a lot of kids over there, and they can all grab your face at any one time.

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Microsoft has fixed an issue where some Windows 10 users couldn't enroll for extended security

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updates to get an extra year of free updates.

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But wait, don't you have to be enrolled in that program

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to get more updates in the first place? Is Microsoft trapping users in liminal space where they're both getting updates

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and blocked from getting updates at the same time?

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No, thankfully this isn't a catch-22 situation,

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and every Windows 10 user can get this new fix,

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which will allow them to use the ESU enrollment wizard

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and collapse the quantum uncertainty, and we're back in our home dimension.

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Very good. Good job Microsoft, so kind of you to allow people to do the thing you said they could do.

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Tesla is recalling over 10,000 of its Powerwall 2 home battery units in the US

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because a third-party battery cell defect can lead to overheating, smoke, or even fires.

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The company says it has remotely discharged nearly all affected units to make them safe

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and will replace them free of charge, with certified installers reaching out to customers.

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Oh, hello, certified installer. Is it getting hot in here, or is that just me?

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What? My house's battery's on fire.

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ChatGPT is rolling out group chats in select countries,

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letting users invite contacts to join their ChatGPT session,

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so you can use ChatGPT to actually chat with another human now,

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as long as an AI is there to supervise. This is great news, especially if you want someone to mediate

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your dysfunctional family arguments about what to get for dinner tonight.

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Yeah, this is the what to do. Meanwhile, WhatsApp is launching third-party chat integration across Europe,

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allowing fully encrypted conversations with people on other messaging platforms

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as part of the new requirements laid out by the Digital Markets Act.

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It doesn't look like ChatGPT is one of those now interoperable chat apps,

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so at least it won't butt in and offer to write some erotica or something,

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which is always, it always does this, so annoying.

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Open ChatGPT, good morning, want some erotica?

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Stop, stop asking. And a heal.

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A heal, a new smart bandage, uses an AI-powered camera to take pictures of a wound every couple of hours,

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figure out how it's healing, and then either zap it with tiny pulses of electricity,

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or release drugs to help speed the healing up, which seems better, more useful to me.

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How's that healing? Oh, that's all right. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

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In tests on pigs, the bandage doubled the growth of new skin and cut inflammation.

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However, the effects are still modest, and there's more work to do before it's ready for people.

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Animal testing can be a touchy subject, but that pig looks comfortable enough and cool in their little healing vest,

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so totally worth it. So any animal testing is actually fine,

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as long as they look cool while they're doing it. They look cute and cool. Yeah, yeah.

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Protect... That's actually how we found out cigarettes are fine,

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because the animals look like f***ing bad asses.

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Those are the coolest monkeys I've ever seen. And I bet whoever's hosting on Monday will look cool too.

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How could they not? So make sure to come back. I'm gonna take the weekend to look into the tech news sequels.

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I haven't seen them yet, but I bet they have to be meticulously plotted.

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What else would you do with a giant, important franchise?

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No way they'll leave me disappointed in questioning my lifelong love for tech news.

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This'll be fine.