1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,160 It's Star Wars Day, so may the fourth be with that baby Yoda movie or whatever that's coming out soon because 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,440 CO-Bible knows they're gonna need it! 3 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:21,600 GameStop has just put forward a 56 billion dollar offer to buy eBay. The e-commerce giant was evidently 4 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:27,600 caught off guard by the bid and responded with the energy of every girl I asked out in middle school 5 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:33,040 saying it received no communication from GameStop prior to the entirely unsolicited offer. 6 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:42,480 Sounds like what happens on Snapchat these days. To give you a sense of scale, eBay has a market cap over four times the size of GameStop itself, 7 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:48,640 making this a wild swing for the retailer. Again, much like my middle school attempts at romance, 8 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:54,480 it's funny because I really kept myself. The funds for the proposal are evidently split 50-50 9 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:59,040 between cash and GameStop stock, though it's unclear from the wording if they're referring to 10 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:06,240 shares or $28 billion worth of scratched up trade-in Crash Bandicoot CDs. A middle schooler's fortune. 11 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:11,920 According to CEO Ryan Cohen, it's part of a larger strategy to pivot into e-commerce, 12 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:17,280 leveraging GameStop's retail locations as a fulfillment network. However, Cohen likely 13 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:23,600 has a more personal motive, as his incentive structure guarantees him $35 billion in stock 14 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:30,800 if he can boost GameStop's market value to $100 billion. God, that's a lot of funko pops. 15 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:37,360 The FCC has unanimously voted to advance a proposal banning all Chinese testing Labs 16 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:43,280 from certifying U.S.-bound electronics with FCC chair and former Witch King of Angmar, 17 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:50,400 Brendan Carr, citing national security concerns before he screamed like a banshee. 18 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:57,520 It's part of a wider crackdown that has already seen the agency ban the import of new Chinese-made 19 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:03,280 consumer routers and drones. This move is expected to have a significant impact on consumer electronics 20 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:11,440 since roughly 75% of U.S.-bound devices are currently tested in Chinese Labs, forcing manufacturers to 21 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:16,800 reroute certification through Labs in the U.S., Europe, or Taiwan. According to the new rule, 22 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:21,920 existing devices can still be sold for up to two years after their certification date, 23 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:28,000 but the expectation is that older devices that have to be retested will probably just be pulled 24 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:33,280 instead. It's unclear how manufacturers will deal with the drop in available testing facilities, 25 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:39,120 but if the router ban is any indication, at least one random company will probably get a 26 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:43,360 last-minute exemption, which is totally above board and unrelated to any kind of... 27 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,560 favors. Please don't sue us, Netgear. 28 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:56,080 Toyota's Woven City, the fully-surveilled corporate utopia they use to test robotic stuff 29 00:02:56,080 --> 00:03:02,320 at the base of Mount Fuji. This is real? That's sick. Wow. Sounds like from a spy novel or something. 30 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:08,560 Anyway, they just got a new AI overlord called the Woven City AI Vision Engine, which sounds 31 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:16,880 totally believable and not weird. All hail AI overlord. You'll seek to enter the Woven City. 32 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:24,160 Anyway, this model ingests feeds from cameras, vehicles, traffic signals, and user inputs 33 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:29,680 across the city to predict what residents are about to do, which is fine, because the residents 34 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:35,520 are all Toyota employees and their families, who presumably signed something. About 100 people 35 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:42,400 currently live there in a city built for about 2000, so the cameras to civilian ratio is generous, 36 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:48,080 to say the least. Toyota also confirmed that chairman Akio Toyota has been uploaded to the 37 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:56,640 cloud as Akia Toyota AI, a chapbot trained on a decade of his speeches and writings, 38 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:02,160 so he can keep dispensing leadership and wisdom long after his meat form retires. 39 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:07,760 Honestly, getting trapped in a penopticon run by a sentient AI CEO sounds stressful. 40 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:13,600 At least we can blow off some steam with our sponsor. Now, I know it would be probably really good 41 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:19,280 to do the quick bits here, but what if instead we just had Darth Maul show up again? You guys 42 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:25,920 like him, right? Darth Maul? Subscribe. Microsoft's April Windows 11 update keeps finding new ways 43 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:32,800 to ruin your day. After triggering boot loops, B-sods, and borking BitLocker, it's now breaking 44 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:39,120 third-party backup apps like Macrium and Acronis. This time on purpose, though. We're happy about 45 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:44,560 this? Microsoft blacklisted the kernel driver that these apps use over a security flaw and is 46 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:50,480 telling users not to uninstall the patch. So your options are keep your backups or keep your PC 47 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:56,400 from getting owned. Pick one, loser. Oh, you won't back up your PC. Get a grip. 48 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:02,160 Maryland just became the first state to ban AI-driven surveillance pricing in grocery stores. 49 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:07,760 Yay! Unfortunately, critics say the bill is riddled with carveouts and exemptions. Boo! 50 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:12,720 What a rollercoaster. Consumer advocate and the internet's cool older brother who's looking 51 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:20,000 out for you, Cory Doctorow, called the law all loophole. Anyway, Cory warned that lobbyists 52 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:25,760 have drafted it to gut consumer protections. The criticism is well timed, as several other 53 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:31,200 states are currently drafting similar bills. So here's hoping this will let us take a bite 54 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:37,760 out of grocery store surveillance pricing. A court in Hangzhou, China ruled that companies can't 55 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:44,000 legally fire workers just because AI is cheaper after a tech firm tried to demote a quality assurance 56 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:51,440 employee from 25,000 yuan a month to 15,000 and canned him when he refused. The court said 57 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:58,320 adopting AI is a business choice, not an unforeseeable disaster that voids your employment contract. 58 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:03,760 A take so worker friendly, it probably won't survive the boat ride west. Blackberry stock 59 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:09,920 jumped over 10% today after a Wall Street Journal profile reminded everyone that the company didn't 60 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:16,560 die, it just pivoted. QNX, their software division, makes the operating system running 61 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:24,240 lane keep, adaptive cruise, and crash detection in 275 million cars, and is now expanding into 62 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:29,920 NVIDIA Robotics and German submarines. Of course. Which means the company that couldn't survive 63 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:36,000 the iPhone is now keeping you alive at crush depth. Sleep tight, sailors. And a Cleveland 64 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:42,320 startup called Sonic Firetech is selling a fire suppression system that uses inaudible 65 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:47,920 infrasound waves instead of water or chemicals. And they just demoed putting out a kitchen 66 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:53,280 grease fire with sound alone. Which everyone tries at first, but it doesn't do anything. 67 00:06:55,840 --> 00:07:01,600 A backpack version for wildland firefighters is also in testing, which I'm sure will go great 68 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:06,800 until they find all the dead woodland creatures. Chipmunks are just not a thing anymore. 69 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:14,800 Ah, the fire's out. Oh god. Mama. And I'll be setting you on fire in a video game if you don't 70 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:20,160 come back Wednesday for more tech news. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to pretending 71 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:24,320 Star Wars doesn't exist until the next Jedi Survivor sequel or they make something else 72 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:29,360 as good as Andor. Because otherwise, what's the point? Okay, see ya.