It was the best of tech news, it was the worst of tech news.
But hopefully more the first one, you know? I don't want the second one.
Oh man. Google Pixel phones have been crashing and rebooting
after loading one specific YouTube video. It's like a high-tech version of the ring,
but the psychic dead girl can't get past the iPhone security.
It's that good. The clip, a seemingly normal scene from 1979's Alien,
causes Pixel 6 or 7 phones that try to load it
to instantly shut down. Too scary. After their phones restarted,
some users found that they couldn't use cell service until rebooting it again.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. In 2020, a particular wallpaper image
caused some Android devices to fall into a boot loop,
crashing and rebooting in an endless cycle.
Like our lives.
Until you do a factory reset. This was likely caused by a bug in the color system
as affected phones were primarily Google and Samsung devices that used the default Android color engine.
So, Pixels were getting wiped out by Pixel. With their own kind?
With this new bug, it's possible that something about the format of the video, 4K HDR,
is messing with Google's Exynos-derived Tensor chip.
Luckily, it seems that a fix is already underway as today, many Pixel users reported being able
to successfully watch a man get murdered by a six-foot-long vent monster without incident.
I call it a normal Tuesday.
My mother-in-law, am I right? You're a Xenophile. Boo!
YouTube has announced it plans to roll out generative AI tools for creators, that's us,
including the ability to create artificial scenes and virtually swap clothing?
Virtually. Literally virtually swap clothing.
I can be a minimalist. The changes are supposed to arrive in the coming months,
but who knows? Maybe they're already here and I'm not wearing this shirt at all.
Is this the real tech thing set? We don't know.
There's not a lot of specifics yet as to how the AI features will be implemented, but according to YouTube,
there will be significant guardrails in place to avoid abuse, particularly given the risk
of copyright infringement associated with generative AI, like what if they wear an LTT shirt
and they didn't even go to LTT's store? Duh! Duh-gah.
They got it from Wish. What YouTube is not avoiding at all is shamelessly copying TikToks.
So they also announced a new YouTube shorts feature that will allow creators to record a short
parallel to an existing video, similar to TikTok's extremely popular duet feature.
Me myself, I'm a loner. It's ironic because the duet usually involves
two people performing complimentary parts, not doubling the melody.
Cape Lancet and the movie tar would not stand for this! And privacy-focused messaging app Signal,
which I use, is threatening to pull out of the UK in response to the British Parliament's
proposed online safety bill. The legislation, which has been in the work since 2021,
has received widespread criticism for granting the government sweeping censorship
and surveillance powers, as well as content scanning provisions
that would require service providers to install backdoors into all user end-to-end encryption.
You want, mate? Heh, heh, heh, which end?
No need! Signal, given their brand is the cool messaging app
that won't tattle on you to your mom or the government, has stated that they would rather reverse Brexit
than provide a service that fundamentally compromises the security of their users,
even if those users are pedophile ISIS members. According to Signal president Meredith Whitaker,
the bill not only turns phones into tools of mass government surveillance,
but also creates an access point for criminals, hackers, and maligned state actors.
The bad guys. How many bits could a quick bit bit if a quick bit could quick bits?
Twitter founder Jack Dorsey has launched a new decentralized Twitter alternative, Blue Sky,
on the iOS app store. But don't get too excited, Crypto Bros.
It's invite only for now, and we're not cool.
Given that Blue Sky's whole deal is to be the new Twitter
as created by the people who made the old Twitter, the Blue Sky app bears a striking resemblance to Twitter.
What? No word as of yet whether there will be check marks
of any kind. I don't want it if it's not there. Actually, that's what the currency is.
Blue Sky Blue. It's called Chipcoin. It's called Checkcoin. RTX Super Resolution for videos in Chrome and Edge
is now supported for GeForce RTX 30 and 40 series GPUs.
What's that? Rejoice. RTX VSR uses AI upscaling to sharpen
and clarify low resolution video while removing compression artifacts.
Get him out of here. 4K upscaling was previously only available
on NVIDIA's SHIELD TV, but now a new wave of users
can watch hyper compressed 2014 bind compilations
with perfect clarity. Oh my God. It was basically American TikTok. It was great, guys.
They give me life. All the perfectly cut screen.
TikTok will be automatically adding a 60 minute
daily screen time cap for accounts listed as under 18,
which will stop no one. After an hour total on the app,
teenage users will be required to enter a passcode to continue browsing.
The screen time reminder was already available as an opt-in feature,
but now teens will have to opt out instead. Parents using TikTok's family pairing option
will be able to set screen time limits for their children, but seeing as most teens set up their own accounts
and their parents don't even know what it is, I guess we're just relying on them
and their underdeveloped prefrontal cortex to make their own decisions
about whether or not to listen to a polite message about self-control from the people
who brought you the algorithmic equivalent of math.
It's so good. Swipe, swipe.
It's so good at news. I can quit thirst traps anytime.
Google is adding client-side encryption to Gmail and Google Calendar,
expanding feature that was already available in Docs, Drive, Meet, Sheets, and Slides.
Those also exist. This means that data created by users
will be encrypted before it gets stored on Google servers,
so Google itself wouldn't have access to the information within a feature
that will help limit the risk of future data leaks. Politics about to get boring.
You see, it doesn't matter if North Korea steals my nudes if they're already encrypted.
Why am I using Gmail to send nudes? Because it's North Korea.
That's all they have. I'm a professional. I'm gonna get the best nudes.
Ford has filed a patent for a system that would allow self-driving cars to repossess themselves
if owners fall behind on payments. The system would allow Ford to gradually shut off functions
in their customers' cars, like automatic Windows or seat controls and locking.
Locking. Wow. Elements of the infotainment system and air conditioning,
which could kill you in some hot places, or simply just have the car drive away.
Hey, this is a McDonald's. Where are we going? I'm for it up.
You promised me the play-plays. This will incentivize delinquent drivers to pay up,
but also to never leave their children unattended. I, for one, cannot wait until one of these kidnaps
to toddler in a car. Hopefully my toddler when I'm having a bad day.
See you later. It's not my fault. Maybe I'll learn you something.
And we're done kidnapping your attention for today. We're gonna do a catch-and-release thing
if you promise to come back on Friday for more tech news. If you don't, it gets a switch again.