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Remember when there wasn't any tech news and instead people would just hunt and gather?

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If so, how do you remember that? How old are you?

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Samsung's latest flagship SSD is dying faster than whatever the opposite of Keith Richards is.

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Robbie Kahn of news site Neowin reported that his 990 Pro SSD's health rating,

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which reflects the capacity and effectiveness of the drive, dropped to 98% in a few days before

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even filling the two terabyte capacity. For reference, the drive is rated for at least

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1200 terabytes written, which basically means that Kahn should have been able to overwrite

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the entire capacity of the drive 11 times over before its health dropped by 2%. If I've learned

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anything from the dairy aisle, a lot of people seem passionate about 2%, so it matters.

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That also seemed to be the case when Kahn posted his findings on Reddit before he

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published the article. Many commenters stated that they were seeing a similar,

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quicker-than-normal SSD death. One user on Twitter said he saw his health drop by 36%

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after writing less than two terabytes. Kahn said he tried to armay the faulty SSD,

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but Samsung sent it back to him saying there was no defect found. They eventually reversed

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course after the story gained traction because they truly care about what their customers think

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about how they treat their other customers. Google is being sued again, but this time,

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it's the US Department of Justice. Again, actually the lawsuit was filed this Tuesday

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by the DOJ and eight states, making the ongoing games of Google lawsuit bingo a bit more interesting.

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This new lawsuit focuses squarely on Google's hold on the digital advertising market,

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with the US Attorney General leveling accusations that Google had weakened if not destroyed

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competition in the ad tech industry. Okay, that's not fair. Meta helped destroy it too.

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In a press release yesterday, the DOJ took issue with the tech giant's control of the largest

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ad exchange, the tools to sell ads, and even the tools to buy ad inventory. The government body

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accuses Google of multiple counts of anti-competitive behavior, including acquiring competitors,

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though I'm sure Google likes to think of it as making new friends, but buying them and then

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consuming them and spitting out the ones that are no longer necessary. That's BFF's 101.

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And there's been a major leak about Apple's upcoming mixed reality headset, courtesy of dependable

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source Mach-German, or as I like to call them, Girm-Tung, Grima-Girm-Tung. Apparently the headset

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is likely to be named Reality Pro, which sounds like a subscription upgrade for existence. I'll

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take a side of death, and will feature hand-to-eye tracking capabilities to allow you to launch

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applications without a controller. Whatever, we've seen that before. What is intriguing is the avatar

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functionality. Supposedly, when you FaceTime another headset user one-on-one, the headset will

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realistically render your faces and bodies in VR to make you feel like you're speaking in the same

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room. If you add any more people to the call, it won't work since it would require too much

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processing. I mean, this one's supposed to cost just $3,000. You want VR parties, you'll have to

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get the Pro Reality XDR. Fittingly, the headset will also be able to function as an external display

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for the Mac, which makes it only the second most expensive Mac monitor Apple has ever made.

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Allegedly, Apple's in discussion with the likes of Disney and other companies regarding

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development of VR content for the device, which may have to do with the headsets' purported

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immersive video functionality. Finally, you can reach out and touch your favorite Disney characters

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without having to go to a theme park and harass out-of-work actors.

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Leave Gaston alone! But his bulge! Seriously, how do you remember the Stone Age? Do you own an Animus?

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Anyway, quick bits. The fruit company we haven't shut up about yet has reportedly cut the 2023

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MacBook Pro's SSD performance. Another SSD story, baby! Multiple outlets have shown that the new

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$2,000 entry-level 14-inch MacBook Pro's 512GB SSD has significantly slower read and write speeds

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than its 2021 counterpart. Honestly, though, it's the entry-level MacBook Pro. If you want better

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performance than a two-year-old laptop, you'll have to cough up a bit more than spare change.

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Maybe try the thrift store? Hackers attempted to blackmail Riot Games after getting their hands on the source code for League

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of Legends, TeamFly Tactics, and a legacy anti-cheat platform. The hackers wanted $10 million,

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so I'm guessing they must have wanted to buy a fully-spec MacBook Pro to avoid the SSD issue.

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In a lengthy Twitter thread, Riot stated they wouldn't be paying the fee and that they are

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working hard to investigate the methods used and impact of the attack. Proving that Riot is way

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better at taking an L than Riot's player base. Don't at me.

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NASA has announced they are going to test nuclear thermal rockets in partnership with the Pentagon's

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Defense Advanced Research Project Agency, or DARPA. Such rockets produce thrust by harnessing the

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heat created by a nuclear fission reactor. The space agency said the partnership with DARPA

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will benefit both agencies, and probably the middle class. NASA will get rockets that could

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reduce transit times for future Mars missions, but I'm not sure what the Pentagon will get

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out of creating rocket-propelled thermonuclear reactors. A Twitch streamer has started a

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playthrough of Elden Ring using their brain as the controller. Harry Carriel hooked herself up to an

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electroencephalogram, or EEG, and mapped different brain signals to button inputs.

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In a video posted online, you can see the streamer thinking attack, and watch her character perform

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an attack. She has a master's degree in psychology, so if my experience is anything to go by,

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she probably did this to get her parents to shut up about how her job has nothing to do with her

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education. Are you happy now? All I do is think panic and then do that. And appliance manufacturers,

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who work so hard to add smart device capabilities to their products, just cannot fathom why you

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won't connect your dishwasher to the Wi-Fi. Apparently, only half of smart appliance buyers

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connect them to the internet. I mean, if you ignore privacy concerns, the annoying subscription offers,

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the attempts to sell you replacement parts, and the fact that it's getting harder and harder to

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buy a normal dumb appliance, I can't think of a single reason why someone wouldn't want their

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dishwasher on their private home network. But I do know why you should come back on Friday,

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because you're apparently an immortal being like a highlander or something, and there can be only

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one. And I want to challenge you to a duel and absorb your power, baby. That can be only fun.