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Hey, remember me, the tech news, you know, mustache, it definitely has legs

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and isn't just the torso that levitates off the ground. I'm a real person, you silly.

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ASUS has announced a world's first for monitors.

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The Taiwanese company made the groundbreaking engineering achievement of the year

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by designing a stand with movable feet.

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What? So it can walk away when it's sick of your bull.

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I'm sure this feature will really make the world's first 540 Hertz refresh rate monitor stand out from the competition

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for a reason other than that one. Sam? Of course, they didn't stop there.

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Their newest ZenBook Pro 16X will have a new core chip design

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called Supernova that puts the RAM modules on the same die

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as an Intel processor, just like a smartphone SOC or the Apple Silicon chips.

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Just what I've always wanted. Another laptop I can't upgrade.

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Innovation. The company claims that this design reduces the motherboard area

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and allows for better cooling to increase performance. Keeping the laptop trained choo-chooing,

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ASUS unveiled two big old 18 inch gaming laptops.

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Finally, gamers can see more on-screen action for probably about 37 seconds on a single charge.

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There's a trade-off. Speaking of power hungry screens, ASUS decided 2023 is the year for glasses-free 3D OLED displays

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which will be featured on two of their creator-level laptops.

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For the meager price of a high-end laptop, you'll finally be able to emulate 3DS games

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the way they were meant to be. Why don't you shut down the shop, Nintendo?

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Hopefully ASUS doesn't take some other cues from Nintendo too.

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They suck. LG announced a new OLED TV that doesn't have inputs.

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Who needs those? Instead, you plug your devices into their zero-connect box

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which streams audio and 4K 120 Hertz video directly

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to the TV. You never take my inputs, Riley. I'm taking it right now.

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Oh, I'm reading your script right now. Yes, I know.

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What do you want from me? LG proudly states it's the world's first wireless OLED TV

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which is true if you pretend that the displaced TV,

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the world's first wireless OLED TV, doesn't exist.

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If you just put your hands in your ears and shut la la la, you can believe whatever you want.

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Okay, to be fair, there's a lot of world's first, like, you know, measuring going on at CES, so.

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That comparison is especially embarrassing since the LG's TV still needs a power cord,

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Bush League, while competitor Displace claims their TV has a battery that will last

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for about 30 days between charges. What? You can take it with you.

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You just have the world's largest phone. But hey, world's first mostly wireless OLED TV?

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That's too long of a title. In other LG news, they showed off their new

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Graham-style laptop that features an invisible touchpad

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you can only see when you touch it. And I can't believe Hollywood hasn't stolen that idea

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for a horror movie monster yet. But I can believe no one stole LG's

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and moved up color-changing fridge because, well, society just isn't cyberpunk enough

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for that yet. Maybe in 20 years when Arasaka takes over

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all of the corpos who can actually afford fridges will want to buy one they can make purple

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when they're just, I don't know, just feeling a little bit silly that day.

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Feeling like I want this augmentation. I feel like a naughty little mini-government.

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And Samsung announced a new lineup of micro-LED TVs.

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They claim that their new panels are good for two nanosecond response times.

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Theoretically making them 500,000 times faster

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than a one millisecond gaming monitor and making PC gamers math inaccurate

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by an order of magnitude. Our new TechLink writer, right over there,

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crunched, checked his math. I f***ed up. But didn't check his script.

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You know what? Cut that out of hoppin', I want to look good. No, I want to keep that.

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In relevant tech news, Samsung also announced some updates coming to this year's version

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of their freestyle portable projector. The 2023 model will include Samsung's smart TV platform

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and gaming hub allowing you to access game streaming services

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like Xbox cloud gaming and GeForce Now, wherever there's a conveniently placed white wall.

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Where before, you could put anything else.

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They've also revealed a patented smart edge blending technology that can combine the output

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of two freestyle projectors into one large 21 by nine

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or even 16 by 15 display. Or instead of spending $1,600 on two 1080p projectors,

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maybe you could, I don't know, buy a 4K TV that has the added benefit of working in bright rooms.

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Forget I said that, that's, I don't know what, I don't know what I was thinking.

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That's stupid. I don't know why I thought it was stupid. These used to be called quick bites,

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but I was attacked by a flock of geese as a child and I made a vow to never bite anyone

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as quickly as I was that day. In EA blew it again news that games publisher revealed

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that any Madden NFL 23 player that logged into connected franchise mode

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during a 22 hour outage last week has had their saves corrupted by a data storage issue.

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The spirit of John Madden is in the files. I'm mad.

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Ah! What's worse, only 40% of affected saves are recoverable.

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Even worse than that, an official account tweeted that it should be safe to play CFM

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during that 22 hour period. I guess EA stands for everything's a flame.

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We don't know where we put your saves. I'm sorry, I just, Microsoft is incorporating open AI's chat GPT

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large language model into Bing, because maybe that will make people want to use it

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for something other than redirecting to Google. Microsoft has already announced

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that the Dolly 2 image generator will be integrated into Bing's image function

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and chat GPT integration is even more exciting

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because for the first time, Bing will be adding results to its service.

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Never thought we'd see the day. Google has appealed a ruling by the competition commission of India

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after it issued the tech giant a $161 million fine

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for manipulating play store search results. Google says the ruling plagiarized language

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from a similar EU ruling over 50 times, indicating that India hadn't done

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their own examination of the evidence, but it simply copied Europe's instead.

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And if India hands this into the prof, they could get suspended from the University of Antitrust.

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You're gonna have to go to the principal's office. I'm not sure what international law says

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about creative ownership of anti-competition rulings,

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but India could also consider just getting chat GPT to reword things instead.

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Not yet. Roku is pulling an Amazon and making their own dang TVs.

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The new Roku Select and Roku Plus series include 11 models

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with screen sizes ranging from 24 to 75 inches and prices starting at just $119

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and going as high as a thousand.

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Of course, like Amazon, the Roku TVs are probably being largely designed by Roku,

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but still manufactured by partners like TCL or Hisense.

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But having those brands on the box is just confusing. Who made the TV?

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It's a yes or no answer. And withings, the French company known for making,

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you know, fancy or smart home and wearable products

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for the elite announced Uscan, a device that will tell you what's in your pee.

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And maybe why it's been that weird color recently, which is great for people who don't appreciate

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getting weird looks from doctors. Look, I had a lot of borscht this week.

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I love carrots. Isn't it beets? Borscht is made it from beets.

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Borscht beets, Battlestar Galactica. And as a bonus, the Uscan looks like a Chromecast

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that plugs into your toilet bowl, except instead of streaming videos to your TV,

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you're streaming your urine to your phone. Streaming in the stream, baby.

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Man, grandma had trouble understanding email. Try explaining this tech to her.

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And you're gonna wanna stream tomorrow's episode of TechLink. You can even do it in the bathroom.

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We won't tell anybody. You should probably drink more water. That's kind of concerning.

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You, you have a what problem? Oh.