Hey, remember me, the tech news, you know, mustache, it definitely has legs
and isn't just the torso that levitates off the ground. I'm a real person, you silly.
ASUS has announced a world's first for monitors.
The Taiwanese company made the groundbreaking engineering achievement of the year
by designing a stand with movable feet.
What? So it can walk away when it's sick of your bull.
I'm sure this feature will really make the world's first 540 Hertz refresh rate monitor stand out from the competition
for a reason other than that one. Sam? Of course, they didn't stop there.
Their newest ZenBook Pro 16X will have a new core chip design
called Supernova that puts the RAM modules on the same die
as an Intel processor, just like a smartphone SOC or the Apple Silicon chips.
Just what I've always wanted. Another laptop I can't upgrade.
Innovation. The company claims that this design reduces the motherboard area
and allows for better cooling to increase performance. Keeping the laptop trained choo-chooing,
ASUS unveiled two big old 18 inch gaming laptops.
Finally, gamers can see more on-screen action for probably about 37 seconds on a single charge.
There's a trade-off. Speaking of power hungry screens, ASUS decided 2023 is the year for glasses-free 3D OLED displays
which will be featured on two of their creator-level laptops.
For the meager price of a high-end laptop, you'll finally be able to emulate 3DS games
the way they were meant to be. Why don't you shut down the shop, Nintendo?
Hopefully ASUS doesn't take some other cues from Nintendo too.
They suck. LG announced a new OLED TV that doesn't have inputs.
Who needs those? Instead, you plug your devices into their zero-connect box
which streams audio and 4K 120 Hertz video directly
to the TV. You never take my inputs, Riley. I'm taking it right now.
Oh, I'm reading your script right now. Yes, I know.
What do you want from me? LG proudly states it's the world's first wireless OLED TV
which is true if you pretend that the displaced TV,
the world's first wireless OLED TV, doesn't exist.
If you just put your hands in your ears and shut la la la, you can believe whatever you want.
Okay, to be fair, there's a lot of world's first, like, you know, measuring going on at CES, so.
That comparison is especially embarrassing since the LG's TV still needs a power cord,
Bush League, while competitor Displace claims their TV has a battery that will last
for about 30 days between charges. What? You can take it with you.
You just have the world's largest phone. But hey, world's first mostly wireless OLED TV?
That's too long of a title. In other LG news, they showed off their new
Graham-style laptop that features an invisible touchpad
you can only see when you touch it. And I can't believe Hollywood hasn't stolen that idea
for a horror movie monster yet. But I can believe no one stole LG's
and moved up color-changing fridge because, well, society just isn't cyberpunk enough
for that yet. Maybe in 20 years when Arasaka takes over
all of the corpos who can actually afford fridges will want to buy one they can make purple
when they're just, I don't know, just feeling a little bit silly that day.
Feeling like I want this augmentation. I feel like a naughty little mini-government.
And Samsung announced a new lineup of micro-LED TVs.
They claim that their new panels are good for two nanosecond response times.
Theoretically making them 500,000 times faster
than a one millisecond gaming monitor and making PC gamers math inaccurate
by an order of magnitude. Our new TechLink writer, right over there,
crunched, checked his math. I f***ed up. But didn't check his script.
You know what? Cut that out of hoppin', I want to look good. No, I want to keep that.
In relevant tech news, Samsung also announced some updates coming to this year's version
of their freestyle portable projector. The 2023 model will include Samsung's smart TV platform
and gaming hub allowing you to access game streaming services
like Xbox cloud gaming and GeForce Now, wherever there's a conveniently placed white wall.
Where before, you could put anything else.
They've also revealed a patented smart edge blending technology that can combine the output
of two freestyle projectors into one large 21 by nine
or even 16 by 15 display. Or instead of spending $1,600 on two 1080p projectors,
maybe you could, I don't know, buy a 4K TV that has the added benefit of working in bright rooms.
Forget I said that, that's, I don't know what, I don't know what I was thinking.
That's stupid. I don't know why I thought it was stupid. These used to be called quick bites,
but I was attacked by a flock of geese as a child and I made a vow to never bite anyone
as quickly as I was that day. In EA blew it again news that games publisher revealed
that any Madden NFL 23 player that logged into connected franchise mode
during a 22 hour outage last week has had their saves corrupted by a data storage issue.
The spirit of John Madden is in the files. I'm mad.
Ah! What's worse, only 40% of affected saves are recoverable.
Even worse than that, an official account tweeted that it should be safe to play CFM
during that 22 hour period. I guess EA stands for everything's a flame.
We don't know where we put your saves. I'm sorry, I just, Microsoft is incorporating open AI's chat GPT
large language model into Bing, because maybe that will make people want to use it
for something other than redirecting to Google. Microsoft has already announced
that the Dolly 2 image generator will be integrated into Bing's image function
and chat GPT integration is even more exciting
because for the first time, Bing will be adding results to its service.
Never thought we'd see the day. Google has appealed a ruling by the competition commission of India
after it issued the tech giant a $161 million fine
for manipulating play store search results. Google says the ruling plagiarized language
from a similar EU ruling over 50 times, indicating that India hadn't done
their own examination of the evidence, but it simply copied Europe's instead.
And if India hands this into the prof, they could get suspended from the University of Antitrust.
You're gonna have to go to the principal's office. I'm not sure what international law says
about creative ownership of anti-competition rulings,
but India could also consider just getting chat GPT to reword things instead.
Not yet. Roku is pulling an Amazon and making their own dang TVs.
The new Roku Select and Roku Plus series include 11 models
with screen sizes ranging from 24 to 75 inches and prices starting at just $119
and going as high as a thousand.
Of course, like Amazon, the Roku TVs are probably being largely designed by Roku,
but still manufactured by partners like TCL or Hisense.
But having those brands on the box is just confusing. Who made the TV?
It's a yes or no answer. And withings, the French company known for making,
you know, fancy or smart home and wearable products
for the elite announced Uscan, a device that will tell you what's in your pee.
And maybe why it's been that weird color recently, which is great for people who don't appreciate
getting weird looks from doctors. Look, I had a lot of borscht this week.
I love carrots. Isn't it beets? Borscht is made it from beets.
Borscht beets, Battlestar Galactica. And as a bonus, the Uscan looks like a Chromecast
that plugs into your toilet bowl, except instead of streaming videos to your TV,
you're streaming your urine to your phone. Streaming in the stream, baby.
Man, grandma had trouble understanding email. Try explaining this tech to her.
And you're gonna wanna stream tomorrow's episode of TechLink. You can even do it in the bathroom.
We won't tell anybody. You should probably drink more water. That's kind of concerning.
You, you have a what problem? Oh.