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Don't worry, tech news has been inside you the whole time.

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Mostly because it's categorized as a non-essential surgery. Here, we'll distract you from the pain with some more tech news.

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Perfect! So, E3 2023 is dead. That's pretty wild, though perhaps it isn't necessarily the most surprising

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news when you look back. Last month, Ubisoft made the weird promise to attend E3 if E3 happens.

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The company then dropped out this Monday and announced they would be hosting a separate

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live event, much like Sony, Nintendo and Microsoft. So, either Ubisoft lied or they got the tiniest heads up about the doomed convention.

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In an interview with Games Industry, the ESA, who organizes and presents E3,

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has stated that marketing needs and game development being altered since COVID were

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two of the main factors. Or maybe it was Jeff Keely.

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Thanks, Jeff! Friggin' Jeff. Kill E3!

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More like Jeff Keely. Back in 2020, the brief fun part of it, Keely said he would not be participating in E3 2020 due

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to the direction the event was being taken. Two months after E3 2020 was canceled due to the

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non-fun part, Jeff Keely announced Summer Game Fest, a fully virtual evolution of E3's formula,

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and wouldn't you know it, it's still going strong. I guess people must like enjoying game events and special playable content from the comfort of home

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without having to stand in any long lines or experience new and unique smells.

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Smell a vision and games didn't last. Smell you later, don't even wanna smell you now.

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Smell you never. AI is the gift that keeps on giving, at least for news headlines, otherwise reception is mixed.

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For example, Italy decided to fully ban chatGPT, the country's data protection authority said it

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had to do with privacy concerns, especially after the user conversation breach on the 20th of this

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month. Though if you ask me, AI made the first strike when it generated this video of Will Smith

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eating spaghetti. Speaking of AI visuals, mid-journey has decided to end

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free trials of its AI image generator due to extraordinary demand and quote, abuse.

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It might have something to do with all the totally real images of former President

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Donald J. Trump being taken down by enthusiastic police that exploded on Twitter after old 45

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truths socialed that he would be arrested. There was also that one time with Pope Francis,

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although can you tell which one of these three images are real?

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Because I can't. Because I can't see them. I'm looking into a camera.

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And the Restrict Act might need some restrictions of its own, according to everyone other than

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the U.S. government. The bill is receiving bipartisan support in the Senate and bipartisan

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outrage in the news and social media. The legislation was ostensibly a response to

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TikTok, but rather applies to any information and communication technology or ICT run by a

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foreign adversary, which are the countries you expect, plus anyone that certain U.S. officials

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agree on in the future, that poses a undo or unacceptable risk to national security or the

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safety of United States persons. Because they speak two languages. In summary, it's broadly

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worded so much so that digital rights experts believe the act could criminalize VPNs and

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people could hypothetically go to jail for 20 years for using one. The communications director

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for the bill's sponsor has stated the act isn't aimed at individual users, but the thing about

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a spokesperson is that they aren't the bill. Does the bill say that? You know, that's the real

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question. God willing. Bless. Will the Pope sign that? I mean, the bill mentions post quantum

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cryptography and synthetic biology. Could you not have added a clause that said, hey,

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people who use a VPN so they can watch vertical videos made by Zoomers won't go to jail?

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Quick bits like these don't come around that often. Only three times a week every week.

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Microsoft, who used to be a software company, has announced plans to integrate ads into Bing

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Chat, the thing that finally got people to use Bing. It's no secret that Microsoft has been

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trying to put ads into everything they can recently, so we can't be surprised that they're

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seeing dollar signs after Bing Chat reached 100 million daily active users. Though it would be

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funny if this was what killed Bing after people finally started using it. 100 million users,

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those people need ads. Yeah, Google's assistant division is being reorganized to focus on Bard.

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This makes sense since Google's assistant is good but has never made money, while Bard is bad and

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also hasn't made money. But maybe it could. I imagine that's why the VP of engineering

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for Google Assistant was replaced with a VP from Google's commerce organization.

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Bold strategy? I'm sure he'll carve the cutest little tombstone when assistant is killed.

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Amazon is suing three groups of Amazon sellers that it says abuse the tech giant's copyright

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takedown system to file illegitimate complaints about their competitors. As long as they weren't

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getting rid of illegitimate children. The bad actors even went so far as to create fake websites

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as evidence that their competitors were copycats and ended up successfully taking down a number

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of competing product listings. So it's good to see that Amazon has decided to care about at least

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one of the many sketchy seller practices in its store. You don't want to get rid of all of them.

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The store's got to have some character. A hobby lobby without a middle-aged woman having a glitter

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fight in the back is just boring. I love Glenda.

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General Motors is the latest automaker to Nick's support for CarPlay and Android Auto

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in favor of a custom infotainment system complete with innovative new features,

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like the ability to pay a monthly subscription for features that used to be free. But don't worry,

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GM actually worked with Google to build their custom system, so it'll have Google Maps and

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Assistant at no extra cost for eight years. Until then, they'll just be using the new system's

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tighter integration with other vehicle systems to collect more data on driving habits. So yeah,

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owners will have to pay more, but they'll also have more data collected, so it mostly balances

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out, right? You know, like, yeah, like they make more money from the data and they make more money

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from you paying for it. So everyone wins. And Nokia is building cell towers where they're most needed.

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The moon. As part of NASA's Artemis program, the Finnish telecom company will be establishing

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a 4G network on everyone's favorite natural satellite. The lunar network will allow NASA

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to test if current cell technology is usable in outer space and definitely won't be used by

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lonely astronauts to slide into Martian DMs. Hey, you up? You alive? But you can slide into a new

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video on Monday when we'll have another piping hot batch of technicians. Fresh out of the oven.

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Careful. They're hot.