All you want to know what I'm always reaching for down here is my little friend.
AMD's Ryzen 9 7950X3D is launching tomorrow and reviews are already calling it the fastest
processor for gaming. I mean it should be, since it's the successor to the 5800X3D,
the world's first 3D CPU. All the other ones were only NVIDIA games.
But AMD didn't just make the sequel, it made three separate sequel attempts with different budgets.
The 7950X3D is the most expensive of the 3D cash-equipped trio, but if you were hoping to
hear anything about the slightly more affordable 7900X3D, which launches at the same time,
you're gonna have to wait at least 24 hours. Who am I, Jack Bauer?
Yeah, the press didn't get review samples of the cheaper one, which is either a very unfortunate
shipping error, or maybe AMD didn't want a risk showing that you can probably get comparable
performance to the 7950X3D for $100 less until after they sold a bunch.
A big change to the X3D lineup from last generation is increased overclocking support,
as the 7000X3D chips will support using curve optimizer and auto overclocking with precision
boost overdrive in the Ryzen Master software. But if you were hoping for finer control,
I'm afraid this ain't it. You'll just have to settle for a CPU
that is already the world's fastest for gaming. Ah, come on! Apple and Google need to sit down
and have a big ol' think about phone passcodes, because multiple people have been locked out
of their Apple IDs after having their iPhones stolen. See, thieves can do this, because for
some reason, you can use your phone passcode to reset your Apple ID password on iOS and your
Google account on Android. So all a potential thief has to do is see you enter your passcode,
steal your phone, which is bad enough, but from there, they can change your password, lock you
out of all of your Apple devices, and turn off Find My iPhone. Well, at least they can't access your
bank account, right? Don't bank on that! Exactly, because, well, actually they can, if you have
your bank account password saved in Apple's password manager. Since all you need to get
access to it is, say it with me. The iPhone Passcode. So dumb. I mean, sometimes they might
also have 2FA via text, but they already have your phone. So that don't help much, does it?
Again, Android phones suffer from the same passcode security flaw, although you can't use that to
get an Android Titanium credit card. Plus, 99% of these types of thefts happen to iPhone users.
I guess thieves also hate green bubbles. I can't even send high-quality photos of all the stuff
I stole to my bros. Ah, I'd rather go to jail. That's what I imagine them saying.
What is that? That's classic thief. That's what a thief sounds like in my mind. It's like a
California bro. I love stealing stuff, man. Steal these waves. And not long after trying to annoy
people out of installing Windows 11 on unsupported devices, Windows started begging users to do
just that. Last week, upgrade promotion banners started appearing on devices that did not meet
the minimum specifications for Windows 11, including those without the trusted platform module chip
that Windows won't shut up about. Security, eh? One of the first people to notice this issue was
Phantom Earth 3 on Twitter, who was offered a Windows 11 upgrade while running a Windows 10
virtual machine. Microsoft? That's a fake computer. It's not real.
You can't upgrade an idea without my help. Fortunately, it seems Microsoft caught the
issue quickly, fixing it on the same day it was noticed. Wow, at least according to an official
support document from Bill Gates' old stomping ground, which is the best description of Microsoft
I've ever heard. Turns out this isn't the first time this has happened. Last June, hundreds of
Windows insiders were able to upgrade to Windows 11 because of a similar goof from the company.
Classic, Jake. They're always doing these funny jokes. Gaffs? Of course, in that case,
some insiders installed the upgrade before they realized it wasn't just a release preview for
Windows 10. Microsoft, we get that your newer OS is faster and has a bigger number, but we'll
upgrade when we're good and ready, okay? You're suffocating me. I want to move out.
Quick bits were invented in 1692 by Quentin Nick Bitworth, because he was too lazy to say
his entire name. I bet you didn't know that fact I just made up, did you?
Google, one of the wealthiest corporations on the planet, is now asking employees of its
cloud division to share desks. In an attempt to transition off of working from home,
employees have to figure out how to avoid being in the office on the same day as their company
assigned desk partner, or be relegated to operating only the right or left side of their shared computer.
Aren't they the cloud division? Work from home!
Laptops, are you kidding me, Google? Two months ago, you had 31 massage therapists on the payroll.
What is half of your workforce at a time going to do about muscle aches from sitting at half of
a desk now? HMD, the company that has the rights to make Nokia phones, it's a weird situation,
has partnered with iFixit to make a phone you can repair yourself. At least a good portion of it.
Counts for something. Four components, the battery, display, rear panel, and the USB-C module,
were all specifically designed for self-repair. Meanwhile, HMD also announced they want to
produce devices in Europe. They didn't specify where, it's a big place, because that doesn't
really matter. What matters is the subsidies Nokia is getting for moving production to Europe.
Badminton Dorf? Sure, sounds fine. Sounds like a town line is made up.
Snap, Inc. has decided to make a chatbot. The bot is powered by OpenAI's ChatGPT, of course,
and is initially only available to Snapchat plus subscribers. A subscription service I just learned
existed right now as I'm reading this. Wow. It's existed since June of last year, really? Why?
Anyway, my AI as Snap are calling it seems to be designed as another friend you can message on
Snapchat, except the bot won't ask annoying follow-up questions if you ask for a cheese-based
haiku, unlike my so-called friends. Why did you write it like that?
Why did you want a cheese-based haiku? Why do you love cheese so much?
Beijing Behemoth Xiaomi has announced wireless AR glasses powered by the same chip as the MetaQuest
Pro. And the thing is, they look pretty cool. Like, freely give your personal data to a foreign
government. Cool. The glasses feature micro OLED displays as well as electrochromic lenses that
will automatically darken so you can focus less on reality and more on virtuality. The better one.
While the glasses are wireless, they need to be paired to a Snapdragon Spaces-ready device.
Another thing I don't know what it is. So it looks like iPhone users and thieves are out of luck.
It's an XR development platform that's based on Snapdragon chips.
Huh? And today on Pokemon Day, the Pokemon Company revealed more details about Pokemon Sleep,
the mobile app they announced back in 2019. Things were different. The game is essentially
a sleep tracker that allows you to attract different Pokemon to your in-game island.
The island of the mind. Dream space. And a Snorlax is there.
What kind of Pokemon visit depends on what kind of sleep you get. So no pressure.
I slept horribly last night. I'm never gonna get a articuno.
If you doze, you might see a Bulbasaur. But if you slumber, a cucumber.
The Pokemon Go Plus Plus was also announced with Pokemon Go and sleep functionality.
Apparently it contains a Pikachu that will sing you lullabies, which is super cute until you
realize he can never leave. That feels problematic. I mean, he's a figment of your imagination so.
But it won't be problematic to come back on Monday for more tech news because it's as easy as can be.
Just like, subscribe, and whatever, and you'll get the thing, you know?
That lets you know Wendy's video is done cooking. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah!