Okay, I'm gonna try to keep it together for today's tech news, because I...
Got nightmares about Ludwig all night. Riley sucks, ass.
You suck, ass. Why? Intel has announced their latest ultra flagship gaming processor, the $689 Core i9-14900KS.
And if you thought it was kind of a pointless product, well...
Listen to this. Not only can it boost up to 6.2 gigahertz, 200 megahertz more than the now pathetic
regular 1400K, get it out of my sight, it may be Intel's last flagship desktop processor
based on a monolithic die. Since Team Blue's next-gen Aero Lake chip lineup will use Foveros modular tiles,
and it's also Intel's last CPU designed for the LGA 1700 socket, the last of its kind.
That is pretty based. But being the last is probably just fine with the many enthusiasts who seem to view the 1400KS
as the third re-release of the 1300K, featuring 3% higher clock speeds and a 20% higher TDP.
And sure, that sounds like a bad trade-off until you hear that ASUS ROG's overclocking team
used the 1400KS to hit 9.1 gigahertz, breaking the previous CPU frequency world record
set by Swedish overclocker and Australian Sesame Street character Elmore.
As Ars Technica points out, this chip seems like a strange relic of the millennial years,
when higher frequency was the only thing that mattered.
And chips wouldn't get goddamn jobs!
Intel just can't let go of the fact that AMD beat them to 1000 megahertz.
I can't wait to see the look on their faces when Intel is first to 10,000 megahertz
and also the first to burn down their office. The now infamous banned TikTok bill shot through the U.S. House of Representatives
in a landslide vote this week, but it should slow down a bit when it gets to the Senate,
where many of the seats are held by the ants of Middle Earth. Don't be hasty.
But if the bill does eventually become law, TikTok will be banned in the U.S. of A,
unless its Chinese parent company ByteDance sells the app.
But to whom? Well, some have answered the call, expressing interest in buying TikTok.
There's former CEO of Activision Blizzard and secret Lord of the Goblin realm, Bobby Kotick,
Canadian business mogul, and the Simon Cowell of Shark Tank, Kevin O'Leary.
Donald Trump's former Treasury Secretary, and that's all I'll say about him, Steven Mnuchin,
and the CEO of video platform Rumble, Chris Pavlovsky,
who apparently would want to buy TikTok even if all of its users fled in terror.
But these anti-Avengers may never actually need to assemble,
because according to TikTok CEO and favorite gum of sneakerheads, Xu Zichu, ByteDance ain't selling,
for obvious reasons, but also because China might block the sale,
rather than grant a tech export license for TikTok's secret sauce, its algorithms.
So it looks like TikTok may very well be banned in the U.S.
But I mean, China did it first, so. Cerebrous Systems has unveiled what they call the world's fastest AI chip, the WSE3,
featuring a whopping 4 trillion transistors. They put the whopping in there themselves,
so that may be part of its specs, I don't know. Burger King's involved. What I do know is that it's slightly easier to fit 4 trillion transistors on a chip the size of a
chunky iPad. The WSE3 is like 50 times bigger than NVIDIA's H100 GPU, because WSE stands for
wafer scale engine. The whole chip is a full wafer, the largest 5nm one that TSMC can make.
It's got 900,000 cores, 44GB of on-die memory, and its CS3 system configuration can do 125
petaflops, compared to the 16 petaflops offered by NVIDIA's DGX H100 system,
and that's all before it rolls for intimidation. This thing is so juicy that YouTuber TechTechPotato, aka Ian Cuttrust,
tried to eat it, which I wouldn't recommend if you ever encounter this thing in real life.
You should just run. Quick bits are not for eating. I know they sound delicious,
but I snacked on one, and now they won't shut up about it, so let's just don't.
NVIDIA's CPU Technology Conference starts in a couple days, and we reportedly may get a glimpse
of the company's next-gen flagship B100 AI chip based on the Blackwell architecture,
which might seem a little strange given that they won't even start shipping the H200 until Q2 of
this year. But I'm not sure that matters, since NVIDIA's last-gen A100s are still in very high
demand. I have to assume because no one knows about the iPad-sized chip yet. It's right there.
What does matter, though, is the possibility that we may also get a look at Team Green's Blackwell
gaming GPUs, although we only have one source for that. And when the RTX 50 series gets announced,
we're just gonna make fun of how overpriced they are anyway, so it's like whatever.
SpaceX launched the third test flight for their Starship rocket yesterday, and this time it didn't
explode. Within the first 10 minutes of flight, the Starship reached orbital velocity, and the
first-stage Super Heavy Booster successfully separated from the ship, which then entered space
and even began re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere. And then at some point, it either
burned up or broke apart. I mean, at least it happened. What are you supposed to do?
Perhaps in some sort of unalive packed, the Super Heavy Booster, which was supposed to make
an autonomous controlled landing in the ocean, instead just hit the water at full speed.
It's a daredevil.
Still, this flight lasted significantly longer than the previous test, so progress is being made.
Elon has promised six more test flights this year. The next one will probably last at least a day
before it falls apart. I mean, you go to space and try to stay together.
Microsoft is expected to announce its new ARM-based surface devices next week, and rumor
has it they'll be rocking Qualcomm's Snapdragon X Elite. According to Windows Central's sources,
Microsoft is very excited about the performance and efficiency gains of the ship, and it might
be worth getting excited about, since the Snapdragon X Elite beat the Intel Core 7 Ultra 155H
in previously unseen benchmarks. Although the benchmarks were run by Qualcomm,
and both the Snapdragon and Intel reference laptops were built by Qualcomm, so maybe don't
just take that with a grain of salt, take a full daily recommended dose.
America's Federal Communications Commission, or FCC, has quadrupled the minimum internet
speed allowed to be marketed as broadband. The new standard is 100 megabits per second down,
and 20 megabits per second up. This is the first time they've upped the requirements since 2015.
The agency seems to want to force ISPs to deploy more telecommunications infrastructure, citing
the fact that millions of Americans living in rural areas or on tribal lands don't have access to
fixed terrestrial broadband service, and setting a long-term goal of 1 gigabit per second down and
500 megabits per second up as something for stakeholders to strive for. I should be able
to drop from the battle bus with my squad from the Fond du Lac reservations with no ping.
And no, you haven't traveled back in time to 2021, but crypto miners are causing hardware
shortages thanks to the rising value of Bitcoin and Ethereum. It's the cryptocurrency's fault,
these people can't help themselves. But it's not GPUs this time. Ryzen CPUs are apparently
more viable for certain mining algorithms, so prepare to have a hard time finding those,
and an even harder time once AMD launches their Zen 5-based Ryzen 9000 series later this year.
Hey, you know what, never has a shortage? Books. Dune is a popular root as based on, you can read
that. But after you crack open a novel, come back on Monday for more novel technology information.
You know we had to dune to ya. There it is, there it, okay.