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You know when your friend shows you something they've been working really hard on and it's like

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pretty bad, so rather than sparing their feelings, you're just honest with them?

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I wish Intel had a friend like that. Because reviews of the company's core Ultra 200 series,

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aka Aero Lake, are excoriating Team Blue's latest desktop processors, and not even me showing up

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in a turtleneck in the LTT review could do anything about it. As Digital Foundry delicately puts it,

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there are serious problems with, particularly, the flagship Core Ultra 9 285K's gaming performance,

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that problem being that it's bad. The new chip is routinely beaten by its own predecessor,

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the Core i9-14900K, but also by its competitors, the Ryzen 99950X and Ryzen 77800X3D. In their

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written review, Eurogamer even found the 285K losing to a Core i5-12600K from three generations ago.

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Now there is a bit of light on Intel's horizon here. Computerbase saw some

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disproportionate performance boosts by overclocking their system's RAM, and Durbauer increased

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FPS by 7% in Counter-Strike 2 by specifically boosting the 285K's ring clock. So just spend

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a bunch of time tweaking your components' voltages without frying anything, and you'll be fine.

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Despite the overclocking potential, it's not a great launch week for Intel, especially when leaks

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are making the Ryzen 7 9800X3D look pretty good, and the 9000 series in general is performing

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7-10% better in games than they did at launch thanks to updates. Not all of the criticism is fair,

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though. PCWorld points out that AeroLake performs extra horribly under Windows Default

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Balanced Power Mode, but PC users are going to be using the High Performance Mode anyway.

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It's not like this whole CPU lineup was specifically engineered to prioritize energy

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efficiency or anything. Wait, it was? No! Citing insider sources, the Verge confidently reported

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yesterday that OpenAI plans to release Orion, its next big AI model and a proper follow-up to

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GPT-4 by December. OpenAI CEO Sam Altman quickly replied on Twitter, writing,

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Fake news out of control. Send. Yeah. Yeah, cancel the launch. Cancel the- I will eat you!

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Now, the Verge's sources could have been wrong, but whatever the truth is, sifting the real news

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from the fake is about to get harder, not just because of AI, but because of people trying to

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outwit AI. Members of the r slash London subreddit have taken to heaping praise upon less popular

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restaurants to taint Google's often Reddit-fueled AI overview search results and keep influencers

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and tourists away from the really good sandwich shop. But I'm worried about the precedent this

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sets. OpenAI and Google have deals to train their AI on Reddit posts. Does the dead internet theory

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factor in redditors doing a 2024 version of back off, get your own sandwich? I wasn't sure about

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that reference. I don't get it. We really? No. Oh wow. Is it from a commercial? This is a mistake.

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Guys, I don't think we're ready. And neither does OpenAI's senior advisor for AGI readiness,

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who just resigned, writing that no one, not even OpenAI or their peers, is ready for artificial

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general intelligence, the word we made up for something that doesn't exist yet. But ready or not,

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here it comes. The latest iOS 18.2 developer beta adds chat GPT integration and image generation

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to Apple intelligence, bringing AI features to the iPhone people. But maybe wait for the full

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release before you let your mom install it on her iPhone though. You got her one, right?

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You were told to get her one. We've been working hard on these quick bits, so

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tell us what you think and be honest. The US copyright office has granted a partial exemption

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allowing individual franchise owners and independent restaurateurs to diagnose and repair

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their own equipment at their own restaurants. This includes those notoriously always broken

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soft serve machines at McDonald's, which are purposefully finicky to work with and have

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digital locks that couldn't legally be interfered with under the terms of the DMCA.

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That's right, they copyrighted the ice cream machine so they could get more money from fixing it.

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Now however, the copyright office has sided with non-profit public knowledge and I fix it,

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meaning that all the little children and the large adult men will be able to get their flurry fix.

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I'm loving that. Intel has finally won a near 15 year legal battle against a 1.06 billion euro

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Back in 2009, the EU Commission, the bloc's antitrust watchdog, alleged Intel had engaged in

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two illegal practices, giving rebates to computer manufacturers for buying their chips and paying

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manufacturers to halt or delay the launch of products containing AMD's chips. Two years ago,

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a court annulled the charges related to the rebates, which was then appealed by the commission.

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That appeal has now failed, stay with me, so Intel doesn't have to pay the billion euro fine.

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Intel does still have to pay a nearly 400 million euro fine for the sales restrictions, but that's

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just peanuts. I mean, it's not to them right now. 400 million euros? That's fine. An investigation

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into the company Babble Street has revealed how mobile advertising data can be used to spy

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on almost anyone. The company sales a platform called LocateX that allows you to see a time-lapse

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of the movement of mobile devices in and out of almost any area on a world map. Customers can

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also track individuals using their mobile advertising ID, a unique identifier built into

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all Android and iOS mobile devices. While the tech is supposedly limited to government use,

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when an investigator asked for a two-week free trial mentioning they were considering government

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contract work, the Babble Street salesperson said, that's good enough, and they don't actually check.

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Oh, cool. Thanks. I'm microwaving my phone and living in the forest. This is the last episode

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of TechLink, FYI. Elon Musk has admitted that most existing Teslas may not actually be able

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to ever drive themselves. Tragic. Specifically, he said Hardware 3, the self-driving computer and

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sensors equipped in Teslas from 2019 to 2023, may not be capable of unsupervised full self-driving.

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But Elon says if that's the case, Tesla will upgrade full self-driving customers to Hardware 4

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for free. However, according to Electric, that might be difficult, if not impossible.

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Not only is the Hardware 4 computer a different form factor, Hardware 4 Teslas also have different

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cameras and different power and camera harnesses. But if anyone can figure out the upgrade,

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it's the guy that said Tesla will solve autonomous driving by the end of the year for the past five

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years. I think he's got it. This time, he's serious.

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And researchers want to create paleo-inspired robots as a way of studying extinct animals.

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These moving physical models could be used to better understand extinct animals anatomy and

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how they might have moved back when they were alive and had all their flesh on.

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While these off-brand dinobots probably don't transform like the ones you had as a kid,

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they could be used to test competing hypotheses about ancient life.

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On the other hand, this also feels exactly like how you get Horizon Zero Dawn robot dinosaurs.

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And do you really want our future clone descendants to have to fight raptor lawnmowers

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on their way to school every day? We're just trying to think ahead.

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But we won't blame you if you skip out on school on Monday to watch another episode of TechLinked.

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You probably shouldn't, though, for your own sake. But we shouldn't be encouraging this.
