1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,920
Sometimes you choose the tech news, and sometimes the tech news barges into your room

2
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,680
and throws you in an unmarked SUV, and today was the second one for me.

3
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,120
Apple finally addressed the question of what its compliance with the EU's

4
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:18,640
Digital Markets Act rules will look like, and the answer is malicious.

5
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:23,120
I was hoping it would be delicious, but we didn't, close. I mean, it sounds good at first.

6
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,840
Apple announced that iOS will support third-party app stores,

7
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,840
they call them marketplaces, as well as third-party payment systems

8
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:35,480
and browser engines other than WebKit, so you can actually use a browser

9
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:38,720
that isn't just Safari covered in chrome spray paint.

10
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:43,000
But then you realize these delicious treats are only coming to the EU

11
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,800
because they're actually really dangerous, and you're not sure you want them anymore anyways

12
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,120
because you think you saw Apple spit on them before handing them out.

13
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:55,640
Alternative app marketplaces must be authorized by Apple,

14
00:00:55,640 --> 00:01:00,080
and all the apps that they host must be notarized,

15
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:05,320
a perfectly dystopian-sounding Apple-ism for reviewed by bots and humans.

16
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:11,120
Prepare to be notarized. While many are repeating claims that iOS will support

17
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,360
side-loading, installing standalone app packages

18
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:19,480
outside of any app store, like you can do on Android, Windows, Linux, and macOS,

19
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,520
it won't support that, and it only gets wilder.

20
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:26,340
In order for developers to distribute their apps on alternative app marketplaces

21
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,480
or even use third-party payment processes,

22
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,720
they need to accept the new business terms.

23
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:40,160
This is the new business now, get used to it. That includes paying a lower 10% cut of the app store revenue

24
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:46,800
or 17% for digital goods and services, plus an extra 3% to use Apple's own payment system,

25
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:50,060
which will also spare users from the pop-up warning them

26
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:55,700
that they may be about to hand over their savings to a Nigerian prince if they don't use the right one.

27
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,840
But the new terms also include Apple's own version

28
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:03,040
of Unity's scandalous per install fee from last year.

29
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:10,720
Once an app hits 1 million installs, its devs will have to pay a core technology fee, or CTF,

30
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:15,720
of 50 Euro cents for every new user who installs it annually,

31
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,440
as in the app can be reinstalled by the same user for no charge for 12 months.

32
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:26,140
For some devs, this could see Apple taking something like a 60% cut of their app revenue.

33
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:30,500
Now, if you think crossing your fingers and hoping that your app doesn't get too popular

34
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:34,780
sounds kind of stressful, developers can always stick with the current business terms

35
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:40,260
and swear off the cool new stuff. They could also target iPadOS,

36
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:43,660
where first installs won't trigger the CTF, apparently.

37
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:48,980
Developers of app marketplaces, however, will have to pay the CTF every time

38
00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:52,700
the marketplace app is installed, including the first million.

39
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:58,040
They'll also have to get a letter of credit from an A-rated financial institution of a million euros.

40
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:03,960
Altogether, the deal doesn't sound too good, and in their explainers, Apple is making it clear

41
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,760
that's by design. The company explained that it's only making the new features

42
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,600
available in the EU because they're actually super dangerous,

43
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:15,160
and in the EU, they can take that. We're soft and vulnerable.

44
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:21,720
I mean, the app store's harsh protections blocked $2 billion worth of fraudulent transactions in 2022,

45
00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:25,820
the same amount that Google blocked in the same year

46
00:03:25,820 --> 00:03:30,220
on the far less restrictive Play Store. But there's way more Android phones in the world,

47
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:33,980
and they're way harder to use for babies.

48
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,900
The argument's confusing. But Apple did announce one thing that appears

49
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:43,500
to be just straight up good news. Game streaming platforms like NVIDIA's GeForce Now

50
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:47,700
and Xbox Cloud Gaming can now submit a single iOS app

51
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:51,700
with the capability to stream their entire library of games.

52
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:56,200
Which is, again, how things already worked on other operating systems,

53
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,840
but not on the minimalist Fisher price of phone OSes.

54
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:04,760
Your minimalist baby will love it. Apple previously wanted NVIDIA and Microsoft

55
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:09,800
to create an app store listing for every individual game in their streaming catalogs,

56
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:15,080
a request the two tech giants responded to with, brrrr, brrrr.

57
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:20,480
Interestingly, GeForce Now was the only way to play Fortnite on iOS since Epic Games

58
00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:25,140
removed it in 2020 when it started its whole app store mud fight with Apple.

59
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:30,380
But now that iOS will support third-party app stores, Epic Games plans to finally launch

60
00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:33,940
the Epic Games Store and Fortnite on iPhone.

61
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:39,020
Even though Epic boss Tim Sweeney thinks the new rules are, quote, hot garbage.

62
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:42,940
Whether they actually go through with that launch also depends on whether Apple authorizes

63
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:47,740
their upcoming app marketplace. Which I have a feeling is somewhat unlikely

64
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:52,920
as long as Sweeney keeps characterizing Apple's announcements as a, quote, horror show.

65
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,320
Tim Cook expects some level of decorum here.

66
00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:01,280
I do not suffer impudence from whinging vermin.

67
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:06,800
GARGE! Okay, I think all the Apple news has left by now.

68
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,800
I think we can do the quick bits. Oh God! There's one more in the corner.

69
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,560
It's standing there the whole time. You know that's kind of creepy, right?

70
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:18,520
I'm still here. Users of Beeper Cloud, the service that lets you

71
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:23,860
route iMessages to your Android phone through your Mac computer, reported earlier this week

72
00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:26,940
that Apple was blocking them from using iMessage

73
00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:29,980
even on their Macs, which were flagged for spam.

74
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:33,060
Because while Apple values the user experience above all,

75
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:38,060
their other core tenant is, naughty children must be punished.

76
00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:43,500
After the New York Times reported on the issue and reached out to Apple, Apple did not respond

77
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,340
to the New York Times, but suddenly started unbanning these users.

78
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,960
For now, Beeper has disabled Beeper Cloud functionality anyways,

79
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,240
while they apparently try to find yet another workaround.

80
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:59,200
I don't know, if Apple's compliance with the DMA is any indication, you might just have to get

81
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,920
your mom an iPhone. I just, thousands of users reported

82
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:08,320
that Microsoft Teams was down today, including many users from our own office,

83
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:13,240
tragically blocking us from posting in the company-wide short joke group chat

84
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:17,200
that is our comm system. Like a Kevlar out.

85
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:22,580
I swear we're a real company. Down Detector reported nearly 15,000 outages

86
00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:26,540
as of noon Pacific time. Microsoft gave a vague statement on Twitter,

87
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:31,420
acknowledging the problem and blaming it on a non-specific networking issue.

88
00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:35,900
Rats got into the pipes. Notably, this outage comes less than a week

89
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:39,580
after Microsoft disclosed an attack from a Russian-sponsored hacker

90
00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:43,140
and underrated my little pony character, Midnight Blizzard.

91
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,040
They shelved him in the first season.

92
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:52,240
He was just not, it's a boy. Florida's House of Representatives has passed a bill

93
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:57,880
that, if passed by the Senate and then signed by the governor, will ban children under 16

94
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,520
from social media platforms that track users' activity

95
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,800
and use that information to provide targeted content.

96
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,480
A primary concern is social media's potentially addictive nature,

97
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:12,920
with one state representative comparing it to a kind of digital fentanyl.

98
00:07:12,940 --> 00:07:16,420
The bill has excluded platforms mainly used for messaging,

99
00:07:16,420 --> 00:07:20,020
non-user-generated entertainment, and professional networks.

100
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:25,180
So, if you're 14 in Florida, maybe now's the time to become a LinkedIn influencer.

101
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:28,580
It's gonna be the hot new thing. Business!

102
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:32,900
Google has released a research paper and a demo video for Lumiere,

103
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:36,580
something they're calling a space-time diffusion model,

104
00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:40,460
which sounds like a teleporter that turns users into a fine mist,

105
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:45,320
but is actually an impressive text to video and image to video generation tool.

106
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:50,520
The output is surprisingly realistic and smooth compared to past attempts at AI video generation.

107
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:54,280
And just look at all these animals with the correct number of eyes and limbs.

108
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:58,200
Wow! And these raccoons reading hovering books.

109
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:02,320
Try it out, be our guest. Lumiere even has the ability to take the style

110
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:07,760
from a reference image and incorporate it in a new video, as well as alter existing footage.

111
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:11,020
Like this horrifying woman flower homunculus.

112
00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:15,340
The future is bright. And Meta's Reality Labs has created a way

113
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:20,380
of allowing VR users, as well as virtual characters and experiences,

114
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:24,500
to appear to manipulate real-world objects.

115
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:28,860
They demonstrated this concept in a video where a, thankfully, fake,

116
00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:33,660
hideous monkey peanut monster thing grabs a very real drink cart

117
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:38,600
and throws it down the stairs before escaping justice by taking the elevator.

118
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:42,440
The user in that scenario was moving real slow. They could've got it.

119
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:46,520
Now in reality, the VR program creates a virtual double of the object

120
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,680
and simultaneously erases the original from sight.

121
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,760
It's super cool, though it feels like maybe they should be working on other things,

122
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,460
like how to get the Quest 3's pass-through mode to work on a plane,

123
00:08:57,460 --> 00:09:00,600
or even when you just decide to stand up or go downstairs.

124
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:05,020
The Vision Pro can do it, Meta. Honestly though, check the video out for yourself.

125
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:09,840
Just be prepared for the nude minions streaking through the frame at three minutes and 45 seconds.

126
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:14,880
I just, if you're not into that, maybe avoid. And don't break your streak.

127
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:22,800
Come back on Monday for more tech nudes. No, I'm sorry, not nudes, not nudes, no.