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To celebrate St. Patrick's Day, I personally have verified that today's episode is 100%

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snake free. You're welcome. Snakes.

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Samsung's Exynos chipsets have a galaxy's worth of vulnerabilities,

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according to Google's Crack Security Research Division, Project Zero,

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named for the amount of tolerance they have for insecure software.

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Google's team claims that on December 15th, 2022, they disclosed eight vulnerabilities to

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Samsung. Four of those vulnerabilities allow attackers to remotely compromise a phone

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with no user interaction and only require the attacker to know the victim's phone number.

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All those girls on Tinder asking for your number, they were hackers.

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Those boys on Grindr, they just want to hook up before they hack you.

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Normally, Project Zero gives companies 90 days to patch and exploit before they disclose its

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details, but four out of the eight flaws are apparently so severe that Google is only

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alluding to their existence alongside 10 other flaws that have not yet passed the 90-day mark

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since being disclosed to Samsung. But the move has apparently prompted Samsung to release the names

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of the affected chipsets, which have been matched to multiple Samsung phones.

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Vivo devices, Pixel 6 and 7, series phones from Google, and even some cars. Cars.

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If your device is affected, make sure to update as soon as possible, and if you can't,

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turn off Wi-Fi calling and vault VOLTE in your device settings.

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Apple is working on natural language generation features for Siri.

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Information sourced from the TVOS 16.4 beta implies Apple is working on a Siri

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natural language generation framework that could be used to juice Siri's capacity for

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natural language, like the kind I use when I duck like this.

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This is, of course, not to be confused with unnatural language like Blackspeech,

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Hyvalarian, and Welsh. A move like this from Apple makes sense, since the proliferation of AI

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chatbots has started to make your average voice assistant look kind of bad.

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As things stand right now, Siri's new superpower is being reserved for the most important tasks,

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like telling jokes on your Apple TV, and...that's it.

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But the code for these natural language features is included across most of Apple's

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operating systems, and reports have said Apple engineers are testing language-generating concepts.

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I wouldn't expect anything at the level of chatGPT, especially since Mark Gurman said,

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nope, to that idea. We here at TechLink stand firm with the GERM.

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And on the subject of AI, it's been a big week for synthetic intellect.

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That's what I call it. AI image generator mid-journey finally figured out

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what human hands look like. To be fair, these look pretty weird.

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In less polarizing news, Google announced AI integrations for workspace,

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helping you summarize emails in Gmail, capture notes in Meet, and brainstorm in Docs,

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which will come in handy when you get writer's block on the 400th page of your fan fiction of

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Monk, starring Tony Shalhoub. Monk, really?

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Then just yesterday, Microsoft announced basically the same thing for Microsoft 365,

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but who wants to write a thousand-page epic about Monk teaming up with Sam and Dean Winchester

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to defeat Godzilla with the power of love? Something I don't love is how chatGPT4

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was able to hire a task-rabbit worker and convince the human to solve a capture for it.

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The model was able to lie, claiming to be a visually impaired human.

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And even if the worker saw through the lie, you think they're turning down a paying gig?

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We'll all be working for their robots in a few years anyway. Our quick bits are so fast, Barry Allen was scared to present them. Didn't even answer our calls.

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A couple of weeks ago, a leaker claimed on Twitter that Apple plans to limit

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USBC functionality on its upcoming iPhones, continuing their historic tradition of making

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third-party accessories work worse with iPhones than those made by companies who paid Apple for

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a made-for-iPhone sticker. Who will save us? It's the EU. It's always the EU. They're in the future.

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Turns out the common charger law adopted back in October forbids limiting charging speed on

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third-party cords, although Apple could still limit data transfer speeds unless you buy the

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USB-C Pro Max XDR complete cold and flu sinus Apple device.

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YouTube TV has raised its base subscription cost by $8 a month,

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meaning the streaming TV service is now double its launch cost.

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On the bright side, they're reducing the 4K add-on from 20 bucks to 10 bucks.

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That's pretty good if you don't mind paying an additional $10 for the 8-channels actually

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supporting 4K, and some of those 4K channels actually just being upscaled 1080p.

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The service had 5 million users as of last year, and I'm sure they're all thrilled to pay cable

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prices for fewer channels. Stop watching sports, you guys. MENA Verified is rolling out on Facebook and Instagram in the US, giving Americans the privilege

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to pay $12 a month for a checkmark, exclusive stickers on your stories, and other perks.

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Hey, it really is my mom. All you have to do is provide a government-issued photo ID

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to a company built on collecting and monetizing your private data.

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If the prospect of handing the Zaka photo of your driver's license fills you with warm sparkles,

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the waitlist to sign up is open now. Razer has released the Atlas, a pane of tempered glass that you can swipe your

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mouse all over for the low, low price of $100. Don't worry about getting it dirty,

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I expect Razer will start selling Green Windex for $50 a bottle.

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What I didn't expect were the strange warnings on the product page, which seemed to warn users against using the Atlas to start fires.

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As usual, it's better to light your money on fire than buy from Razer, though.

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See you later, and Heinz has decided to do something about the worldwide decline of soil

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health due to over farming. The catch-up company bravely built a Fortnite map called

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SOS Tomatoes, and then paid Twitch streamers and TikTokers to spread awareness about it.

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According to The Drum, the campaign is designed to educate gamers between ages 18 and 34,

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so naturally they chose the game that has captured the 8-12 demographic instead.

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Catch-up joke. I relish the opportunity to joke about Heinz.