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Welcome to the premiere news channel for tech celebrity couples.

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Unfortunately, today it's bad news. We'll get through this together.

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Microsoft has announced a new partnership with French AI company and open AI rival,

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Mistral. Truly a sad day for the Shippers of Microsoft and Sam Maltman,

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also known by the community as Maltman. The multi-year agreement is apparently a part of Microsoft's new

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AI access principles to promote innovation and competition in the AI space

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through investments, partnerships, and programs. Microsoft loves programs.

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Mistral AI has only been around for about a year, but they've made some serious waves and secured record-breaking financial backing.

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Mistral just launched their new flagship large-language model,

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aptly named LARGE.

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This and other LLMs from the company will now be offered on Microsoft's Azure Cloud computing

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platform. Mistral is also rolling out a multilingual chatbot called Le Chat,

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which is masculine French for the cat, but which will likely be mispronounced by

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hapless English speakers as the feminine word for cat, which is, of course, extremely vulgar slang.

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Thanks, France. With this deal, Microsoft appears to be shifting away from open AI and Sam Maltman.

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Microsoft President Brad Smith himself said, Sam is brilliant, but just as the printing press evolved beyond Gutenberg,

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AI is evolving beyond any single individual.

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It's a very poetic argument for a polyamorous relationship.

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Post-segularity world is going to be freaky. Samsung publicly unveiled the Galaxy Ring at the Mobile World Conference in Barcelona today,

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though no one was allowed to take pictures. The ring will allegedly have a longer battery life than Samsung's own smartwatches

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and offer health services like heart rate monitoring, sleep tracking, and even fertility

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tracking, thanks to a partnership with Natural Cycles' birth control app.

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But Samsung may have some competition on the horizon in the form of Apple.

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Korean outlet ET News allegedly spoke to an industry insider

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who claims, also allegedly, advanced development for commercialization of an Apple smart ring is imminent.

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Mark Gurman, however, doesn't entirely agree.

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Mark, a shark with the spark to hunt for stories in the dark,

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says that an Apple ring is currently just an idea,

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and Gurman claims it isn't the only one. Apple is apparently exploring multiple wearable devices such as smart glasses,

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similar to Meta's Ray-Ban partnership. The Cupertino company is even considering adding cameras to their AirPods that could then be used

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to capture data for a multimodal AI system, which is also like Meta's smart glasses,

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but could allow for a smaller form factor. I hate this idea.

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Of course, these ideas are merely early-stage explorations. Apple probably won't seriously consider releasing these

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until they can figure out a way to sell them for $3,500, or $300 five years after several other companies already doing it.

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I figured out how to do it. Mobile World Congress 2024 kicked off in, I'll say it again, Barcelona today,

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and there's already been a massive amount of weird and wonderful announcements.

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Here's a roundup of some of the best so far. Avonier Telecom used its license of drumming rabbit company Energizer

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to slap a smartphone inside a 28,000 mAh battery.

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While the phone specs are entry-level at best, the battery can apparently last for a week, and that's regular use,

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and the device sports a nice IP69 rating.

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Finger guns, finger guns, finger guns. Nokia phone manufacturer HMD is partnering with Mattel

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to release the Barbie Flip phone this summer. Not much is known about the phone, other than it will 100% be pink,

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and is meant for people who want to reduce their screen time.

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And question their existence. More Barbie time.

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For people that want more screen, Motorola shut off a bendable phone concept

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that wraps around your wrist when used in combination with a special magnetic bracelet.

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And do you hate that laptop screens don't let you advertise everything you search for?

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Did everyone else in the room? Well, now they can, thanks to Lenovo's see-through laptop.

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Some tech journalists have finally gotten their hands on the concept device, and while the 17.3-inch transparent mini LED screen is super cool,

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no one can think of a single use case for such a device.

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Xiaomi, however, has a use case for their CyberDog 2,

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and that seems to be replacing your dog. It can talk to you and do backflips.

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Can your dog do that? So one thing you can't do, like what?

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Quick bits. I hardly know bits. But honestly, I thought about asking bits out because there might be something there.

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Google just announced they're rolling out more AI features in Google Messages,

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Android Auto, and more. Less than a week after causing controversy over whether it's Gemini AI is racist.

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You gotta strike while the iron's hot. Gemini will be able to chat directly with users in messages,

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summarize long texts from boomers, and create one-tap contextual buttons for actions like sharing your ETA in Android Auto.

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Google AI will also generate image descriptions for blind and low-vision users in Lookout,

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whatever that is, and in Maps, you'll be able to point your phone's camera at your surroundings

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and hear information about businesses or landmarks spoken out loud.

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I'm just gonna ride the bus with that on. You just have to ask yourself if it's ethical to get that information from a racist robot.

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Do any white people work here? Uh, Microsoft is currently testing a new method of making critical updates for Windows 11

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without requiring a reboot, called hot patching.

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The summer is hottest patching, which is already in use in Windows Serve and Xbox.

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The new feature should debut later this year, and hopefully stop Microsoft from spoiling your kill streak with yet another annoying update.

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Keep in mind, Microsoft is nearly 50 years old now, which is roughly when a mature company should expect to start experiencing hot patches.

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AMD launched a China-exclusive cut-down version of the RX 7900XT graphics card back in August,

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called the 7900GRE, Golden Rabbit Edition.

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But now, they're setting it free to travel the world and compete with NVIDIA's RTX 4070.

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That card just got its price dropped to $550 USD, so that's what the 7900GRE will cost as well,

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which is great news for gamers since Team Red's option has more memory and better performance

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in many areas, at least according to AMD.

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Remind me to never upset Dr. Lisa Su. For all I know, she's got a way better James sitting in China,

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just waiting to come up here and f**k my s**t up.

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Reddit's official IPO filing claims the popularity of subreddit WallStreetBets

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is a stock price risk due to the extreme volatility it caused in meme stocks like GameStop.

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Reddit's user base as a whole isn't super thrilled about the IPO and Reddit's attempt

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to monetize them, though WallStreetBets doesn't think Reddit can monetize them

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to one day actually be profitable. After all, the risk factor section of Reddit's IPO is longer than Twitter's

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and Facebook's IPO risk factors combined, and Elon works at one of those.

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At this point, buying Reddit stocks seems like dating someone who has more red flags

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than a Swiss embassy.

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One man used the power of Twitter to jailbreak a prison laptop he bought on eBay.

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Most people may have given up on a laptop with no OS, no storage, or no USB ports,

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but Twitter user Zefray underscore wenting isn't most people.

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With the power of the internet's public square on his side, wenting hot wired a USB hub to the laptop somehow managed to get a permanent storage

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solution despite the laptop's hard drive ban list and then did what anyone else would do

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after hacking a prison laptop, shoved it up as a s**t, just joking.

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He started gaming. Free Doom!

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No really, Free Doom, the free game for the Doom engine.

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That's what he played. And you should play our next video when it comes out on Wednesday,

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so you can stay up to date on the hottest tech news. Who's gonna break up with whom?

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How many times do we say whom? Is that right or wrong?

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It's right. Bye.