Good news! I have undergone an experimental operation to infuse tech news throughout my
entire body. Bad news, my kidneys are now proprietary. Dark clouds appeared on the horizon for
apps that allow ad-free viewing as YouTube published a memo indicating that they would
be upping enforcement against third-party apps that violate YouTube's terms of service.
And if that wasn't clear enough, the next thing they say is specifically they're talking about
ad blocking apps, okay? I'm sorry. It's not clear whether YouTube will be completely blocking
offending apps from using their API, but the company warned that these apps' users
might experience service issues like buffering, error messages, and videos failing to load.
Of course, these third-party clients could simply comply with YouTube's terms of service and turn
on ads, but I think we all know that ad blocking and free access to premium features is a significant
part of the appeal for some of them. For others, it's just the culture. In their memo,
YouTube emphasized the importance of ads in supporting creators and their content,
which is an argument that I find at least somewhat persuasive, both as a creator and a big fan of
living indoors, at least somewhere where the owner of the building knows that I'm there.
The Chrome Store, however, doesn't seem to have got the memo, seeing as it still offers
several ad blocking third-party YouTube apps. That's entrapment, Google.
After over a decade, Boston Dynamics will be retiring its iconic, yet terrifying, human robot
human robot. It was a human in there the whole time. Humanoid robot Atlas, and replacing it with
an even scarier humanoid robot, also called Atlas. That's all for today. See you later.
The primary difference between the two models is that the OG Atlas used hydraulics while the
new Atlas is fully electric, has a fully rotating torso, limbs, and head, and moves like it's been
demotically possessed. That's a feature. Don't worry, they haven't added the firmware to make any babies yet.
Nothing gets me excited for the robot future like abject terror.
Why did they introduce it like that?
Over the course of its development, Atlas has gone from barely being able to balance,
pathetic, to performing ambitious feats of athleticism. But we've yet to see popular
adoption of these kinds of humanoid robots, primarily because this one wasn't for sale.
Tech companies clearly think we're on the verge of a tipping point. Given the amount of investment
there's been in new Android concepts from companies like Figure and Aptronic, even though
neither of them can spin their head like the chick from The Exorcist. This one can, though.
The United Kingdom has passed a new law criminalizing the creation of sexually explicit deep fakes
without consent, in what appears to be a legal first. Offenders prosecuted under the law would
most likely face a criminal conviction and a fine with jail time as a possibility if the
offender also shares or distributes this now illegal material. Aspiring adult filmmakers
will still have the option of creating filth featuring consenting people, fake people,
and, of course, popular serial mascots. I mean, those options are great.
Oh man. Non-consensual deep fake pornography has been a problem for years, but the proliferation
of deep fakes as AI technology becomes more and more sophisticated has apparently brought the
issue to the forefront of the legislative agenda. UK officials are also apparently in the early
stages of drafting legislation to more closely regulate AI in general. But I bet we could speed
up the process significantly by sending our legislators AI-generated photos of themselves
robbing banks. Seem important now? I weep for the AI future, but I also weep for the future where
people see that and think it's real. All of our parliamentarians? The agriculture minister!
Quick bits, eh? Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long, long time. 24 hours at least.
America's Federal Communications Commission is a week away from voting on rules enforcing net
neutrality, the idea that internet service providers should have a neutral stance towards
all network traffic treating it all equally. But critics say that while the proposed rules
forbid ISPs from slowing down certain types of traffic, speeding up some traffic, say gaming
or streaming video, by putting it in fast lanes would be allowed thanks to a feature of 5G networks
called network slicing. All internet traffic would still be equal. Some would just be more
equal than others. The US has had net neutrality rules before. They were first adopted in 2015
before being unadopted in 2018. I'm assuming because the FCC found out the child they'd
welcomed into their home was actually Satan's baby. Altstore Pal, the first consumer-focused
third-party app marketplace for iOS, has launched in the European Union, opening up a new avenue
for iPhone users to discover countless new apps. It's nice. Right now, Altstore has two apps.
Oh, that's not countless at all. There's Delta, a rare Nintendo console emulator, and Clip,
a Clipboard Manager, both developed by the same guy that made Altstore, Riley Testit. It is a name.
With the EU investigating whether Apple's new rules are kosher or not,
Apple's alternative app store rules may change further, but should be fine. Riley's just
testing it out. It's a different last name than mine.
TSMC has reportedly shared 200,000 kilowatt hours of energy from its backup power generators,
with the rest of the Taiwanese power grid to help prevent power outages. Taiwan, of course,
suffered a massive earthquake only two weeks ago, which caused eight of the country's major power
generators to fail. TSMC, a critical part of the global semiconductor supply chain,
only paused work for a day to allow for safety inspections, in part because the company has
prioritized earthquake preparedness ever since Taiwan's last major quake in 1999. They're
so prepared that their buildings offer earthquake protection 25% above the legally mandated standard.
Honestly, if the bombs ever do drop, the post-apocalyptic wasteland is getting repopulated
by TSMC workers who just happen to be on shift. NASA is going to send a giant nuclear-powered
robot dragonfly to Saturn's largest moon. Just regular science things. It sounds like a plan
someone came up with while they were high. The rotorcraft is planned to be launched in 2028,
though it won't reach Saturn's moon Titan until 2034, because Titan is, I'm told, very far away.
It's also rich in organic molecules, which is why NASA is launching this mission in the first place.
The complex chemistry of this moon, reminiscent of pre-life Earth, could give scientists insight
into the origin of life in the solar system. Its secondary objective is to make me feel
way less cool about what I do for work. And I don't appreciate it.
I would love to fly a robot dragonfly, no one asks me.
And a startup called Ozzit announced Paintcam Eve, an AI-powered security camera that can fire
paintballs containing either UV paint or tear gas at intruders. And you thought the last story
started with a wild sentence. The UV paint is meant to allow police to identify intruders after the
fact while the tear gas is literally tear gas. I mean, it's self-explanatory. It makes them think
of sad things. There are several models available, with the higher-end versions unlocking the ability
to recognize animals and human faces. Like all great ideas, Paintcam Eve will launch on Kickstarter.
On April 23rd, you'll have the chance to actively advance the death of humanity by funding an AI
weaponization campaign. The next generation of neighbor-to-neighbor warfare. But you'll have
the chance on Friday to watch more tech news. Even better, there will be a 0% chance of tear gas.
I'm still figuring that out.