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I've been working on the funniest tech news intro ever.

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It's not ready. You're not. It's too soon. You're not ready for it yet. Tech news first. Maybe later. Be good.

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Microsoft has heard Windows users loudly saying they don't want an agentic OS,

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but that's clearly because you just don't get it. You're confused. It's OK.

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Let them explain in their support article, which describes how secure AI agent workspaces will give agents

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access to shared folders and allow them to work in the background for you,

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completing tasks while you do other weird human things.

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But despite Microsoft's helpful explanation, enthusiasts don't seem to be swayed.

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No one was using agentic Windows. And so one intrepid writer from the Verge took one for the team

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and spent a week trying to interact with co-pilot the way Microsoft wants us to

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and found that co-pilot made his computer feel incompetent.

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Projecting. It had a crisis of confidence, but apparently it's competent enough to install malware.

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As Microsoft's own article states, these kinds of agents would still be vulnerable to malicious prompts

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that may be embedded in emails, documents or web pages.

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For some reason, Microsoft seems hellbent on making Windows worse instead of better.

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Like why not do what this programmer did and turn the OpenGL 3D

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May screensaver from Windows 95 into a playable game demo thing?

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What the? Wait, James, it's your shirt. He already did that, but there are so many more screensavers.

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Do the pipes one next. We have a shirt for that too. I didn't even know you were this...

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I'll take you to the store. Epic Games and Unity are joining forces to let Unity developers

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publish their games directly inside Fortnite through its island discovery system.

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And in doing so, tap into its creator economy payouts,

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giving small dev teams instant access to one of the biggest audiences in gaming.

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The plan goes along perfectly with Tim Sweeney's vision of Fortnite

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as an open metaverse where people can not just play

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but live their entire lives as Homer Simpson half a tar

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who communicates entirely through K-pop inspired emotes.

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Do one. I don't know.

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The agreement will also see Unity support games made with Unreal Engine

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on their recently announced Commerce dashboard, which lets creators manage pricing, payments,

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promotions and digital catalogs on multiple platforms.

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We're talking about a fairly deep collaboration between two of the most popular game engines here.

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Maybe Timothy Sweetner is right. This already is his metaverse and we're just living in it.

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Zucks right over there. Zucks in high. That's meta, meta.

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Yeah, that's that's so meta. Pebble, the once discontinued fan favorite smartwatch,

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seemed like it was flying high after being revived.

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But now it's hit some turbulence. The community finds itself torn between core devices,

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which now builds new Pebble hardware under original founder,

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Eric Migogovsky and Rebel,

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the Solaris that they're called the Rebel, the nonprofit that has maintained the Pebble App Store

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and cloud services since the original company shut down. Just weeks ago, both sides announced a deal.

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Core would build a new App Store front end. Rebel would continue running the back end.

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And together, they'd support all Pebble users new and old and dead,

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probably such an old device. But talks broke down over who ultimately controls

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the App Store data, which consists of roughly 13,000 apps

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and watch faces that Rebel has maintained since the servers were shut down in 2018.

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Rebel says core demanded unrestricted access, which they fear could allow core to build a closed proprietary store

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and leave Rebel behind. And they also accused core of scraping their publicly available data

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in violation of the agreement. Core counters that the data shouldn't belong to anyone.

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What they want is an open public archive to keep Pebble accessible.

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And that the scraping Rebels referring to was just Eric

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using a simple web tool to browse watch faces. Eric does that all the time.

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He doesn't scrape. He's not a scraper. Both sides claim they're protecting Pebble's future,

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which looks increasingly uncertain as long as mom and dad keep fighting.

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Please stop. But hey, at least the watches still tell the time.

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Right? Got another call home from school.

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The quick bits are in trouble again. They just cannot sit still and listen.

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Too much sugar. Cloudflare had a major outage yesterday that knocked out big services like chat, APT and X for thousands of users.

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The outage came after a change in permissions caused too many entries

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to be added to a file connected to Cloudflare's bot management system,

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causing it to buckle under the load and crash out harder than a real housewife.

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Cloudflare says they fix the issue and stressed that there was no sign of a cyber attack.

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However, this was the third major internet outage in a month.

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And people are starting to wonder what can be done to prevent these crashes and what backups we have in place for when they do happen.

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Like how I always keep an extra new toothbrush in the house,

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just in case the data center powering my normal one goes down.

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AMD is officially launching its next AI powered upscaling tech,

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FSR Redstone on December 10th. In a tweet, AMD exec Jack Quinn declared that where darkness ends, Redstone begins.

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Do-do-do-do-do-do. Oh, no, no. Before showing off a pretty bland, seemingly Marvel Studios title card inspired video.

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At the moment, not much is known about FSR Redstone, but words like Neural Radiance Cashing and Ray Regeneration.

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I've been thrown around and those sound hella fancy.

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I guess AMD is hoping it's fancy enough to justify the reported desire

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to increase GPU prices according to a post on China's board channels

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with memory prices increasing, a price hike on AMD's GPUs is imminent.

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Obviously, I'll tell you AMD.

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Tobin McGuire, Andrew Garfield, Tom Holland together on screen.

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This is not disappointed. Again, disappointed.

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Google just launched Gemini 3, which it's calling its smartest AI model yet.

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You would hope if Google's benchmarks are to be believed, Gemini 3 might actually be a new era of intelligence,

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considering it's apparently significantly better at understanding text,

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images, audio and a lot of other stuff than some of its competitors.

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Can you understand my wife? The new Gemini is built into both the Gemini app and Google search from day one.

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But being that it's a Gemini,

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is it ever really going to get away from the stereotypes

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that it's indecisive, impulsive, unreliable and nosy?

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Russia is now cutting mobile internet for travelers

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entering the country for up to 24 hours, claiming it stops Ukrainian drones

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from using SIM cards for navigation. The system has caused chaos in border regions where roaming happens accidentally.

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This happens to me all the time. Oh, man. Phones that reconnect after being on foreign networks

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get automatically quarantined until users prove using captchas

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or by dialing a call center that they're a human, not a quadcopter.

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Oh, it's every day. I keep telling people, not a quadcopter.

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Riley keeps buzzing in my ear. And TikTok is rolling out a new AI-generated content slider

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in its managed topic settings. So you can choose to see more or less slop in your for you feed.

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TikTok is also working on invisible watermarking to make AI videos easier to spot, but they're invisible.

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The watermarks that only TikTok can read will help them identify AI content, even if it's edited or re-uploaded.

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The platform announced that these features will be rolling out in the coming weeks.

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What do you think the person who slides their AI content slider to only AI is like?

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I bet they're a Gemini. And I bet you'll be back on Friday for more tech news.

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I've got to go. I wanted to keep working on my funny intro a bit,

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but now I've got a parent-teacher conference about the quick bits to go to.

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They're not even my frickin' kids!