I've surrendered my humanity and have transcended mortal form.
I am no longer a man, but a conduit of tech news.
Feast upon tech news! Android developers are revolting against Ghoul's upcoming side-loading restrictions,
organizing a campaign at KeepAndroidOpen.org.
The fight is over Android tightening rules around the installation of unverified or side-loaded apps,
specifically regarding developer verification and app installation.
Google's Developer Verification Program, which was announced last year,
will require anyone distributing apps outside of the Play Store to register their identity,
upload signing keys, and pay a $25 fee, which was then followed by Google's unveiling of
Advanced Flow to let power users still install unverified apps.
The flow requires the user to go through a cumbersome one-time approval process,
then wait 24 hours before side-loading anything. According to Android, these changes are designed to thwart high-pressured scam tactics that cyber
criminals often use. Detractors, however, are calling it a rug-pull on Android's original
promise as an open alternative to Apple's iOS. And fDroid, which is the open-source
alternative to the Play Store, says the whole framework could kill the open-source marketplace.
Cybersecurity firms, on the other hand, are calling it a reasonable compromise that protects users
from social engineering attacks. What's next? Two-factor authentication to change your ringtone?
YouTube is doubling down on AI with Ask YouTube, a conversational search feature currently in
testing because scrolling through search results obviously takes a ton of work. My fingers are
hurting. I don't know about yours. The feature delivers a step-by-step mix of text, videos,
and shorts directly addressing your search query. The demo explores how you can ask YouTube for help
planning a three-day road trip from San Fran to Santa Barbara. And it will actually give you a whole
multimedia itinerary. You could then ask a follow-up question like, where can I find good coffee?
It's currently only available to US-based YouTube premium subscribers who are over the age of 18,
but they're working on expanding it to non-premium users in the future. Don't expect total accuracy,
though. A Verge writer actually asked about the Steam controller, and the AI confidently claimed
that the device has no joysticks, which would be a surprise to the videos it pulled up since
they all clearly show a joystick. Maybe Ask YouTube should haveâ¦ oh, you know what,
they should have asked YouTube. The US Department of Commerce has ordered US companies to halt
shipments to Chinese chipmaker Hua Hong as it's been helping the blacklisted Huawei-produced AI
chips. This move extends the ongoing chip-based game of will they, won't they, that the US and
China have been playing. This whole thing started in November, when the US blocked NVIDIA from selling
AI chips to China. Then in January, it conditionally approved the H200 sales and slapped a 25% tariff on
them. Then China blocked the imports of those chips. Then the US capped how many chips it would
expect. Then in March, everyone chilled out and came back into an agreement. Then last week,
Commerce Secretary and World's oiliest man Howard Lutnik said China was blocking chip imports.
Oh, so yesterday, he shut it all down again. Couldn't I have just said that part instead of
everything? Okay. These interruptions, however, don't seem to be slowing China's AI progress,
as it just announced its first CPU-only Exascale supercomputer, which it claims is made with
zero foreign components. Who knows what will happen next in this Ross and Rachel-style relationship
that the US and China are in. My money, I think, is on them having a kid in Season 8 that the
writers forget about by the finale. Luckily, our writers didn't forget to write in this segue to
our sponsor. Now feast upon these quick bits. I kind of imagined the editor putting lightning,
but now they're probably not going to put lightning, so it's going to look even cringier.
Google's upcoming Tensor G6 chip for the Pixel 11-
Google's upcoming Tensor G6 chip for the Pixel 11
might have a shiny new CPU, but an embarrassing old GPU, according to a new leak. A redacted
spec image on the Mystic Leaks Telegram channel points to ARM's latest C1 CPU cores paired with a
PowerVR graphics chip from 2021. Potentially a trade-off for thermals and AI efficiency,
meaning the Pixel 11 should fly through Gemini prompts, but tap out the second you open Genshin
A Virginia bank robber is trying to beat his conviction by arguing in the Supreme Court that
Geofence warrants are unconstitutional. Geofence warrants let cops draw a border around a crime
scene and demand data from Google on every phone inside of it. Critics say they're invasive,
and the bank robber is claiming it's violated his Fourth Amendment rights,
which since I've never actually read the Constitution myself, I'm guessing is the right
to rob a bank. Google Translate is celebrating its 20th birthday by rolling out AI pronunciation
practice on Android for US and Indian users in English, Spanish, and Hindi. Talking to your
phone and the AI gives you instant feedback on which sounds you butchered and how to fix them.
That would have been really helpful in the last frickin' prompt I had. Thank you.
Chinese chipmaker. Haha. It works very similar to Duolingo. Now, I was gonna make a joke about
the Duolingo owl, but I gotta tell you folks, that owl frightens me. He frightens me deeply,
and I will not be doing that. Please don't hurt me. A new paper from Imperial College London,
Stanford, and the Internet Archive found that 35% of new websites since JATGPT's launch
are AI-generated or at least AI-assisted, with 17.6% being fully AI-written. Surprisingly,
the AI flood is actually making everything semantically samey, and 107% more positively toned.
Here I was worried about AI Skynet. Turns out AI just wants to cosplay as an overly enthusiastic CEO
at a corporate retreat, which is somehow worse. An open AI's open-source Codex system prompt
reveals an oddly specific rule regarding creatures. Never talk about goblins, gremlins, raccoons,
trolls, ogres, and pigeons. And less absolutely relevant. Which apparently was a big issue.
A Google employee posted logs of his JATGPT 5.5-powered open-claw agent,
repeatedly using the word goblin multiple times in a single day. I'm laughing because this is my
first time reading this. This is really funny. Sorry. The same prompt also tells Codex it has a
vivid inner life, one that clearly involves pretending to be Norman Osborn. Oh dear god,
I'm back. Oh thank god it's over. This vessel may not rest yet, but you, dear viewer may
return Friday for more tech news. The heck was that?