Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show themselves. We've had to wait 10 seconds for you.
I guess now we can deliver the tech news as long as there are any other delays.
Wait a second, where's BootyMangler72? BootyMangler!
Windows 11 Pro's on by default encryption could be slowing down your SSD speed
by as much as 45% according to tests performed by Tom's hardware.
Does my PC not recognize the flames I drew on the boot drive?
Tom's hardware tested a Samsung 990 Pro using Windows software BitLocker encryption.
It's hardware BitLocker encryption and no encryption at all.
Nothing at all. While software encryption caused the frightening performance drop,
it turns out that hardware encryption may be even faster than no encryption at all.
This would be terrific news if it weren't for Windows.
In 2019, Microsoft decided to change Windows
so that software encryption would be the default rather than hardware encryption.
What makes this worse is that Windows 11 Pro force enables this encryption
without providing a clear opt-out option. And worst of all, if you want to switch
to hardware encryption, even if you don't have software BitLocker enabled,
you have to reinstall Windows if you have the OS running on that SSD
because how dare you try and make your machine more functional without penalty?
If you feel your computer has slowed down, there's a blog post on how to get hardware encryption
working on your PC in our news sources. We knew it was a good tutorial
because it's not from Microsoft support. Phone manufacturers have been remotely disabling
Mexican customers' cell phones. This is real.
As in many countries, a large percentage of Mexicans buy their phones
on the gray market through sites like Amazon and AliExpress.
This means they're getting better deals by buying phones that are meant for release in other markets,
but that would still most likely be compatible with Mexico's cellular infrastructure.
But some phone companies don't like this. In July of this year,
Motorola announced all phones imported and activated
in Mexico after that month would be subject to remote disability,
making the phone completely useless except for emergency calls.
Fortunately, Samsung disagreed with Motorola's tactics, but unfortunately it was because
they didn't think Motorola went far enough. Samsung started disabling all gray market phones
retroactively under the pretense that the phones weren't properly certified
by the Mexican government. However, the government never asked Samsung to do this
and in fact, hold manufacturers very strongly to stop disabling phones.
But come on, they offered everyone a 30% off coupon for the second phone customers were being forced to buy.
What more does the Mexican government want? Not forcibly removing citizens access to their own data
and or ability to text their loved ones? Dia's mio.
Speaking of phones, it turns out all those fancy AI tasks the Pixel 8 Pro can do
aren't actually performed by the phone. In his review for the Pixel 8 Pro,
Mr. Who's the boss revealed that the phone's AI features like AI wallpapermaking and the magic eraser for photos
are not accomplished with the phone's Google-designed processor.
The device needs a persistent internet connection so the phone can offload those tasks to Google servers.
Maybe someone should have informed Google VP of product management, Monica Gupta,
before she wrote a blog post saying things like, the Tensor G3 chip continues to push the boundaries
of on-device machine learning and how the chip's upgraded subsystems
are paving the way for on-device generative AI. With specific regard to using magic editor on photos
or AI-generating wallpapers, I guess on-device generative AI means on-device Wi-Fi
so your phone can connect to an AI server. They never said which device.
And that sounds way less special. Maybe that's why Google decided to block reviewers
from downloading benchmarks to test the new Tensor chip.
They didn't want anyone to find out their AI magic wasn't real.
Then the reviewers would start asking questions about the AI tooth fairy.
Childhood ruined. Quick bits are a sacred addition to going back to some point in the past
when a significant event happened. I don't know, man.
I'm just reading this off the property. I don't know what the event was. Twitch is expanding its simulcasting guidelines
to allow creators to live stream anywhere on the web simultaneously following an unsuccessful ban
on simulcasting that may or may not have contributed to top talent leaving the service in droves.
There are still a few limitations like the version of a stream hosted on Twitch
should be at least equivalent in quality of experience and streamers shouldn't share links
to their Twitch audience directing them to watch other platforms midstream.
Twitch also announced that they will be adding doxing and swatting to their list of punishable
off-platform conduct having concluded that criminal harassment is wrong, very wrong.
You mean I can't stick the cops in butt nugget 65? Get the door, it's dominoes, really it is.
Microsoft Excel has now finally created a user setting
to turn off its automatic date conversion feature for dates
both as a quality of life measure and to prevent Excel from accidentally destroying
peer-reviewed scientific data. You see, genes tend to have long, stupid names
like differentiated embryonic grandose site express gene one
which scientists who are only human abbreviated as dease one which Excel
who's only a computer program interpreted as December 1st
and automatically reformatted. A 2016 study found that out of over 3,500 published papers
around a fifth had errors introduced by Excel. Scientists actually reworked their entire system
for abbreviating genes back in 2020 when admittedly they had a lot more free time
on their hands. Amazon has launched a trial for its new workforce
of bipedal humanoid robots developed by Agility Robotics
which are definitely not intended to replace Amazon's current human workforce with their weak flesh
and limited bladder capacity with something superior.
No, the primary benefit of the new bots is their ability to crouch, grasp and lift objects
and navigate warehouses designed for feeble human workers. One union commented that Amazon has been treating
their workers like robots for years. Though hopefully we won't start finding bottles
of used motor oil along the sides of the highway. It's a matter of time before the robots unionize.
And the Windows phone is many things but would you have guessed that it's the unlikely hero
to save us from YouTube's new ad block blocking?
Twitter user endermanch discovered that if you change
your user agent, the HTTP header that identifies
what device browser version and OS you're using, using a user agent switcher to Windows phone,
it'll disable ads. It's like the reverse of the movie Weekend at Bernie's.
Instead of convincing a party that a corpse is a living person, you're convincing the world's
largest video hosting platform that your computer is running a dead OS.
And Tinder's new matchmaker feature allows you to get outside opinions on potential matches.
Users can invite loved ones and friends with or without
their own profile to view and recommend potential matches on the platform.
Once the matchmaker session expires, you'll be able to see which profiles were recommended
while still getting final say yourself over which direction you swipe.
What a great idea. I mean, who doesn't want their mom to help them choose the one they won't call tomorrow?
Watch out screenshots. Tinder's coming for ya.
You're right, dad. He does look like a boy. But we'll call you on Wednesday when we have more
tech news to share and who knows? Maybe we'll form a deep and lasting emotional connection
that we can explore over future episodes.