WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.280 Yeah, over the long weekend, I worked on one of my famous interpretive dance sequences. 00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:08.440 Yeah, you wanna see, you wanna preview? Pretty, pretty risque stuff in here. 00:00:08.440 --> 00:00:12.040 Oh shoot, look at the time, we gotta do the tech news. Whoopsies. 00:00:12.040 --> 00:00:17.560 Apple has announced their new M5 chip, which will arrive in a refreshed iPad Pro, 00:00:17.560 --> 00:00:21.400 MacBook Pro, and Vision Pro one week from today. 00:00:21.400 --> 00:00:27.200 Apple says that in multi-threaded performance, the M5 is 15% faster than the M4, 00:00:27.200 --> 00:00:31.160 but more importantly, its 10-core GPU delivers four times 00:00:31.160 --> 00:00:34.840 the M4's peak compute, because this is 2025, 00:00:34.840 --> 00:00:37.880 and it's important to give AI as much power as it needs 00:00:37.880 --> 00:00:42.960 to melt our brains so we don't feel anything when our skulls are crushed under their metal heels. 00:00:42.960 --> 00:00:46.440 As for the new M5-equipped 14-inch MacBook Pro, 00:00:46.440 --> 00:00:52.600 iPad Pro, and Vision Pro, well, the M5 seems to be the only real new thing about them, 00:00:52.600 --> 00:00:57.680 but if you're a total compute head, you can choose wrongly to pre-order them now, 00:00:57.680 --> 00:01:01.280 and when they ship on the 22nd, you can watch all your favorite shows 00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:05.840 on Apple's newly renamed streaming service, Apple TV. 00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:10.840 Plus, TV, TV plus? No, it's just Apple TV now, 00:01:10.840 --> 00:01:14.840 which is probably what half of you are already calling it anyway, while the other half screamed, 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:20.340 Apple TV is the box, mom! Apple is right to call this a vibrant new identity 00:01:20.340 --> 00:01:25.000 for the platform. I love it when we talk about streaming services like they're our friend, Chris, 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:28.440 changing the spelling of his name by removing the H. 00:01:28.440 --> 00:01:34.640 So much more vibrant, Chris. Almost as vibrant as the custom LaBooBoo given to Tim Cook 00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:38.800 by the creator of LaBooBoo himself. Oh, thank you. 00:01:38.800 --> 00:01:41.800 Introducing LaBooBoo 17. 00:01:41.800 --> 00:01:46.800 Reviews are out for the ROG Xbox Ally and Xbox Ally X. 00:01:46.800 --> 00:01:50.240 ShortCircuit and Linus Tech Tips have both released videos 00:01:50.240 --> 00:01:53.700 about the new gaming handhelds for some reason, alongside many other people 00:01:53.740 --> 00:01:57.100 that don't work in this building. Seems like most reviewers are impressed 00:01:57.100 --> 00:02:03.220 by the Ally X's hardware and performance, but think a thousand bucks is a bit steep 00:02:03.220 --> 00:02:06.740 for something that seems to not even know whether it's a real Xbox or not. 00:02:06.740 --> 00:02:12.540 Make up your mind. And while the non-X Ally's price of $600 is smaller, 00:02:12.540 --> 00:02:16.500 it's actually an even greater obstacle, given the lackluster gaming chops 00:02:16.500 --> 00:02:21.180 of its arguably outdated chip design. We are just tearing into these things. 00:02:21.180 --> 00:02:25.180 They have some redeeming qualities. The joysticks are nice. 00:02:25.180 --> 00:02:28.820 Well, if the reviews for these new handhelds turn you off, don't worry. 00:02:28.820 --> 00:02:34.940 It sounds like you won't have to wait long for new consoles. Generally reliable AMD leaker Kepler L2 00:02:34.940 --> 00:02:40.380 stated on a NeoGap forum that the specs for PlayStation's next console are finalized 00:02:40.380 --> 00:02:45.980 and YouTuber, Moore's Law Is Dead, has revealed alleged details about the next gen Xbox 00:02:45.980 --> 00:02:49.060 and its Magnus APU from AMD. 00:02:49.060 --> 00:02:53.340 Now with the leaked specs in mind, WCCF Tech says that the next gen Xbox 00:02:53.380 --> 00:02:57.860 will have the hardware edge compared to its PlayStation contemporary. 00:02:57.860 --> 00:03:03.300 What a crazy moment for Xbox. One day they're dying, never releasing hardware again 00:03:03.300 --> 00:03:08.760 and being relegated to a game streaming service. And the next, they're pumping out powerful handhelds 00:03:08.760 --> 00:03:13.140 and supposedly winning the console wars of 2027, 00:03:13.140 --> 00:03:16.700 a year when AI will just play our games for us 00:03:16.700 --> 00:03:19.780 and it won't matter anyway. It'll be so much better. 00:03:19.780 --> 00:03:22.900 Speaking of AI, open AI CEO, Sam Altman 00:03:22.900 --> 00:03:29.020 has announced that ChatGPT will be able to engage in erotic conversations with verified adult users 00:03:29.020 --> 00:03:32.580 by December, clock's ticket as part of an initiative 00:03:32.580 --> 00:03:35.580 to put some of that good spicy personality back 00:03:35.580 --> 00:03:40.540 into the chatbot that they took out. In a tweet, Altman says that open AI has been pretty restrictive 00:03:40.540 --> 00:03:43.620 with ChatGPT's personality and conversation topics 00:03:43.620 --> 00:03:47.320 for fear of putting folks with mental health issues at risk. 00:03:47.320 --> 00:03:50.420 But that made it less fun to use for many users 00:03:50.420 --> 00:03:53.540 with absolutely no mental health problems at all. 00:03:53.540 --> 00:03:57.740 You know, normal people, they figured it all out. 00:03:57.740 --> 00:04:03.260 So open AI is loosening those restrictions with help from a newly formed expert council 00:04:03.260 --> 00:04:07.140 of well-being and AI, whose first decree is to say, 00:04:07.140 --> 00:04:11.420 smart is okay for verified adults. 00:04:11.420 --> 00:04:15.500 It is the will of the council. This is a bit of an about face from Altman 00:04:15.500 --> 00:04:20.740 who had previously made jokes at the expense of the sexy anime slot being generated by Grok. 00:04:20.740 --> 00:04:26.540 But I guess the people want what the people want and they really want to talk dirty with their chatbots. 00:04:26.540 --> 00:04:31.060 I'm guessing this is going to be a big blow to people fighting against AI slop on the internet 00:04:31.060 --> 00:04:35.740 because it's about to get a whole lot sloppier. All that said, even though you're gonna be 00:04:35.740 --> 00:04:40.700 sexting your chatbots soon, you can forget about marrying it at least in Ohio 00:04:40.700 --> 00:04:44.500 where lawmaker Fadius Claggett, 00:04:44.500 --> 00:04:48.660 yes, has put forward House Bill 469 00:04:48.700 --> 00:04:54.620 to stop humans from marrying AI and to stop AI from acquiring personhood. 00:04:55.700 --> 00:05:00.180 Like they're stealing it from a bank. We got the personhood. 00:05:00.180 --> 00:05:05.980 Run, Claggett says that he wants to make sure we always have a human in charge of the technology, 00:05:05.980 --> 00:05:11.620 not the other way around. I'll tell you what, I'd rather have a Claggett in charge 00:05:11.620 --> 00:05:18.420 than a clanker. That's not how they sound in Ohio, so I'm sorry. And if I'm fixin' to stay dry, I'd rather use our sponsor. 00:05:18.420 --> 00:05:23.980 You know, before the quick bits started hanging around here, they were an incredible break dancer down in LA. 00:05:23.980 --> 00:05:26.980 Pop and locking, that would blow your mind. 00:05:26.980 --> 00:05:30.100 Ask JC Chasses? 00:05:30.100 --> 00:05:33.300 Windows 10 was issued its last major update 00:05:33.300 --> 00:05:37.760 on October 14th, the operating system's last day of official support. 00:05:37.760 --> 00:05:40.820 It's been sent to drift, like a Viking funeral ship. 00:05:40.820 --> 00:05:46.900 Okay, we got a quote here. Cattle die and kinsmen die, and so one dies one's self. 00:05:47.500 --> 00:05:52.500 But a noble name will never die if good renown one gets. 00:05:52.900 --> 00:05:57.500 That doesn't, is that supposed to rhyme? But wait, hold your Norse funeral poetry. 00:05:57.500 --> 00:06:02.700 You may remember that there are a number of ways to get a free year of security updates for Windows 10, 00:06:02.700 --> 00:06:07.100 including simply signing into Windows with your Microsoft account and syncing your settings. 00:06:07.100 --> 00:06:11.100 Ragnarok isn't here after all. I got all emotional for nothing. 00:06:11.100 --> 00:06:16.280 You know what is here? NVIDIA's DGX Spark personal AI supercomputer. 00:06:16.320 --> 00:06:21.080 Team Green's first product to feature its homegrown GB10 SoC. 00:06:21.080 --> 00:06:27.000 It's such a big deal that NVIDIA bumped the starting price up to $4,000 after announcing that it would start 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:33.640 at $3,000 earlier this year. Still, Jensen hand delivered a Spark to Elon Musk, 00:06:33.640 --> 00:06:37.180 and you can't put a price on that additional leather jacket cool factor. 00:06:38.200 --> 00:06:41.240 Well, I guess you can. It's $1,000. 00:06:41.240 --> 00:06:44.320 Google's Pixel 10 Pro Fold is blowing up 00:06:44.320 --> 00:06:48.560 for all the wrong reasons. In a YouTube video from JerryRigEverything, 00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:52.360 aka Zach Nelson, the Pixel 10 Pro Fold's battery 00:06:52.360 --> 00:06:57.960 appears to expand, overheat, and emit a bunch of smoke during the bend test, 00:06:57.960 --> 00:07:02.320 eventually setting off a fire alarm. While the bend test is pretty extreme 00:07:02.320 --> 00:07:06.920 and puts an unusual amount of stress on the phone, Nelson does know that he's been doing this test 00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:10.040 for a decade, and he has never seen a phone explode 00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:13.680 like this before. I guess you could say the Pixel 10 Pro Fold 00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:17.380 is the hot new phone, but not in the way Google wanted. 00:07:17.380 --> 00:07:20.500 Ooh, got him again. Two in a row. 00:07:20.500 --> 00:07:24.300 Andruil, the military tech company created by Palmer Lucky, 00:07:24.300 --> 00:07:27.740 the original founder of Oculus, has teamed up with Meta to launch 00:07:27.740 --> 00:07:32.780 the Eagle Eye military helmet as part of Lucky's mission to turn warfighters 00:07:32.780 --> 00:07:36.780 into techno mansors. The Eagle Eye uses a mixed reality system 00:07:36.780 --> 00:07:41.000 built into a soldier's helmet as a sort of AI partner in their display, 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:44.660 aiding in mission planning, enhanced perception of a battlefield, 00:07:44.660 --> 00:07:47.980 and presumably, writing army-approved erotica. 00:07:47.980 --> 00:07:52.660 Now that all sounds awesome, but I'm not sure how badass military guys will feel 00:07:52.660 --> 00:07:56.740 about wearing what Gizmodo calls tactical cat ears 00:07:56.740 --> 00:08:00.260 and taking part in the uwuification of war. 00:08:00.260 --> 00:08:03.860 Alrighty, thanks for watching. That's plenty of tech news for one day. 00:08:03.860 --> 00:08:08.940 If you want more, come back on Friday. Now, how about I show you some of these freaky dance moves? 00:08:10.300 --> 00:08:14.380 Incredible. Plie! Beautiful. What is a chasse? 00:08:14.420 --> 00:08:18.140 I don't know. Pirouette! 00:08:18.140 --> 00:08:19.140 I did it now.